Nothing says “Welcome!” like baskets of free, fresh popcorn, and that’s exactly how Marty’s greets you. The bar makes room for locals, Barracks Row Marines, Hill staffers, and of course, popcorn. There are TV’s too, turned to sports or CNN — you know how it is in this city. The place is a “family-friendly” zone, but the roof is usually empty if you need an escape. As for the food, don’t even open the menu of regular bar fare — just decide if you want the 9-ounce or 6-ounce Marty Burger. The Marty Baby Burger comes with a side salad, but trust your instincts and sub in the large steak fries. Just don’t go on Wednesday, as the prime rib special commands a full house.
For: A perfect burger that cures a tequila hangover, minus the pitcher you’ll be drinking.
Entrees: $7-$18. 202-546-4952. 527 8th St, SE
Originally in the Onion / DC local edition / July 5, 2007