The Chew Better Be Worth Killing All My Children

My mom is PISTED. Like super crazy mad, sad, frustrated, disappointed, pisted. My mom is a soap opera fan. She’s been watching All My Children for almost 40 years now. Yea, I said 40.

Every day she tapes the soap, which airs at 1pm EST, to watch later that night. Growing up I would watch with her. We would paint sea shells at the kitchen table and engage with our “friends” as they married, divorced, cheated, gave birth, died, mysteriously found the way back to Pine Valley with amnesia, and died again.

But no more. ABC yanked both All My Children and One Life to Live off the air…for a food (and lifestyle) show. My mom is someone fairly unconcerned with food. She eats to survive, not for pleasure, so you can imagine her fury knowing a food show (that has plenty of its own channels) will replace her soap. Luckily, AMC will transition online and continue to dazzle audiences with outrageous plots.

Starting September 26th, the one o’clock hour will feature The Chew staring Mario Batali, Michael Symon, Top Chef Carla Hall, “entertaining expert” Clinton Kelly and “health and wellness enthusiast” Daphne Oz (says press release.) ABC is furthermore calling its new food show “innovative and groundbreaking.”

Yesterday ABC released a “behind the scenes” (aka totally staged with fake moments of enormous laughter) teaser. Everyone’s giggling and super buddy buddy. I’m sure the show will be lighthearted, filled with quick tips for busy parents and party ideas for yuppie couples. But I hope it’s more.

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