Attack of the Meme: How I Loved Food Before Meeting Your Mother

With the season finale next week (of which I’ve watched only 4 episodes this season because I’m trying to catch up on 5 previous seasons), this is the perfect time to reflect on the absolute hystericalness that is How I Met Your Mother. Yea. I said hysterical. Well, I said a fake word. But still. This show is so much better than Friends. And yea, I said that too.

Top 10 Food Lessons From How I Met Your Mother

10. Don’t Go To Prison

(Photo: Hell Yeah How I Met Your Mother)

9. Answer the Door with a Cheese Plate

(Photo: Hell Yeah How I Met Your Mother)

8. Drink Peppermint Schnapps

(Photo: Hell Yeah How I Met Your Mother)

7. RIP McRib

(Photo: Hell Yeah How I Met Your Mother)

6. Cheese Curls: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac

(Photo: Hell Yeah How I Met Your Mother)

Next: Top 5 Food Lessons in How I Met Your Mother

Top 10 Ways to Eat Mac ‘n’ Cheese Before You Die

Is mac ‘n’ cheese the new bacon? Everyone’s favorite comfort food has suddenly gotten a lot more versatile, showing up in everything from burgers to desserts. Here are ten insanely creative ways you should try mac ‘n’ cheese at least once (and probably only once).

10. Mac ‘n’ Cheese Sushi

Who says you can’t eat macaroni with chopsticks and sriracha?

Recipe: The Food in My Beard

9. Mac ‘n’ Cheese Burgers

One comfort food stuffed inside another.

Recipe: The Food in My Beard

8. Mac ‘n’ Cheese Grilled Cheese

The ultimate addition to any grilled cheese sandwich? More cheese.

Recipe: Endless Simmer

7. Mac ‘n’ Cheese Hot Dog

A crucial stop on the ultimate New York hot dog crawl is this bad boy at Ditch Plains. (Photo: Ditch Plains)

6. Fried Mac ‘n’ Cheese

Then there’s mac ‘n’ cheese state fair style: battered and deep-fried.

Recipe: Always Order Dessert

Next: Top 5 Ways to Eat Mac ‘n’ Cheese Before You Die

Top 10 Foods Only Australia Could Have Invented

Regular ES readers know that I love to celebrate/poke fun at the deep-fried ridiculousness that is American cuisine. My 2008 expose on the Top 10 Foods Only America Could Have Invented remains one of our most popular posts, and by far the most controversial. Every few days a new reader finds this story via social networks and leaves an outraged comment, intimating that I clearly must be a communist for daring to disrespect corn dogs. The BS haters’ favorite line of attack is pointing out that America is not alone in our attempt to deep fry every food. For example, Tav68 rails:

Someone needs to set this poster straight. America is actually number 11 on the list of the worlds fattest nations. This is Directly from the UN web site. Not from some reporter who wants to bash America but from the UN who keeps statistics on this type of thing NOT used for the purpose of Nation Bashing. Australia is the world’s fattest nation, with 36.2 percent of adults being obese…

Hey, point taken. While I have long believed no country can top America when it comes to the great art of artery clogging, I’m willing to give any of them a chance. So in honor of January 26 — Australia Day — and the fact that there is a bring the KFC double down sandwich to Australia facebook petition — I bring you the top 10 foods that only Australia could have invented:

10. Australian Hamburger with “The Lot”

australian hamburger with the lot

The Aussies may not have invented the hamburger, but they sure have taken it to levels not many cultures could have imagined. Ask for one with “the lot” and it will come loaded with a runny fried egg, bacon, cheese, beets (!), pineapple, tomato, lettuce, onions and ketchup (which they call tomato sauce). Makes the New Luther look like snack food. (Photo: Vanessa Pike-Russell)

9. Burger Rings

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Speaking of snack food, when you can’t find a burger with the lot in Australia, you can always grab a bag of burgers — a.k.a. these beef-y snack rings. If the thought of popping burger-flavored snack rings into your mouth makes you want to gag, then you probably won’t want to know that these things reportedly taste like semen.

8. Chiko Roll

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Found at football matches and many Aussie fish-and-chip shops, the Chiko is basically a Chinese egg roll, only upgraded so that it’s large enough to serve as a whole meal. Inside, you’ll find more than just shredded cabbage: usually beef, barley, carrots, green beans and onions. (Photo: Wikipedia)

7. Bacon and Egg Pie

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This is what I call a solid breakfast. As in most countries formerly ruled by Britain, Australians are obsessed with savory pies. The meat pie has even been referred to as the national dish here, and it can be made with anything from minced beef to lamb and steak. But how can you beat one stuffed with good ol’ bacon and eggs? (Photo: Wikipedia)

6. Potato Cakes

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Now this is where the Australians really start to challenge us for the deep-fried crown. Smartly realizing that a plate of fried fish and chips just isn’t substantial enough for many people, many chippers here serve their fish with potato cakes — basically giant circles of mashed potatoes deep-fried within an inch of their life. This is one oversize side that puts french fries to shame. Check out Good Food Gourmet for a recipe.
(Photo: jbennett)

Next: Top 5 Foods Only Australia Could Have Invented

ES Local: The Top 10 Most Anticipated New NYC Restaurants of 2010

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2009, as we all know by now, was more a year for restaurant closings than openings. But with the economy kinda-sorta-maybe turning a corner-ish, here’s hoping that 2010 will be a banner year for eating out once again. With that thought in mind, take a look at the top 10 rumored/confirmed/dreamed up/maybe really happening NYC restaurants we’re crossing our fingers for in 2010.

10. No. 7 Sub

Fort Greene’s inventive No. 7—called one of 2009’s best new restaurants in America by Bon Appetit—is heading to Manhattan, of all places, to debut a more wallet-friendly menu. Rumored to open early this year inside midtown’s Ace Hotel, the take-out-only offshoot will feature a selection of under-$10 sandwiches made on house-baked bread and topped with yummy extras like kimchi pickles and Japanese kewpie mayo.  20 W. 29th St.

9. Three More Shake Shacks!

One day, there will be more Shake Shacks in New York than Starbucks. Until that glorious, heart-stopping moment arrives (we’ll set the over/under at February 2014), those not near existing shacks at Madison Square Park, the UWS, and Shea Stadium can get their burger fix at three new locations: downtown (Prince and Mulberry Streets), midtown (8th Avenue and 44th Street), and UES (86th Street and Lex). In the randomest restaurant news ever, there will also be one in Kuwait.

8. The Sam Talbot Project, Continued

The New York foodie set is certifiably obsessed with this Top Chef reject/pin-up model/chef at Long Island’s seasonal Surf Lodge. But despite being constantly seen all over town and rumored to be making a bid on every space that comes on the market, we’re still waiting for the great Sam Talbot restaurant. Supposedly, and emphasis on supposedly, Sam will be cooking at an as-yet-unnamed over-the-top eatery inside Chinatown’s upcoming Mondrian Hotel. Here’s hoping! 150 Lafayette St.

7. DessertTruck

It’s been a full five months since the truck that started the upscale mobile restaurant trend traded in its wheels and then announced it’s transformation into a permanent LES eatery. Let’s get this thing going, guys! New Yorkers can’t be expected to go without $5 rosemary-caramel goat cheese cheesecake for much longer, can we? 6 Clinton Street.

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Top 10 Jersey Shore Foods

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Like it or not, MTV’s new reality train wreck Jersey Shore has vaulted that curious species, the self-identified “Guido” into the public consciousness, much to the dismay of New Jerseyans, Italian-Americans and anyone with an IQ above 78. I know…you thought these Guidos and “Guidettes” were just another figment of the New Jersey imagination like the Jersey Devil and affordable real estate.  As much as I would like to pretend idiots like this don’t exist, I’m afraid that anyone who has spent significant time in the Garden State — including natives like gansie and myself —  has some across an example of the species, typically traveling in a pack. And now they are beamed right to your home by the magic of television. Consider it payback for the state providing you with a setting for the best show of the past ten years, The Sopranos.  Gotta pay the piper sooner or later.

This joyous television experience got us thinking, though:  Man does not live on soy protein, Axe Body Spray and Miller Lite alone.  The Jersey shore offers a cornucopia of wonderful, horrible and wonderfully-horrible food products that will hopefully all make cameos during the season.  Let this handy list of the Top 10 Jersey Shore Foods be your guide to understanding the culinary choices available to the cast.

10. Mack & Manco Pizza

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Pizza is a staple of Jersey boardwalk fare, and Ocean City’s Mack & Manco is the best on the promenade.  This is a decidedly NYC-style pie — the big floppy kind that you can fold in half and chow down on while you walk. Unlike the trash that drifts down to Jersey to participate on the show, this is one NYC import we can all enjoy.  (Photo: Infinite Jeff)

9. Dippin’ Dots

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The future of ice cream!  Or so they’ve been telling us for the past twenty five years.  At what point will the future actually get here so I can throw out my Ben & Jerry’s?  These ice-cold globules used to be a “special occasion” item that you would see for sale at the shore.  These days, I can buy them from a machine at the mall.  Kinda takes the charm out of it. (Photo: newwavegurly)

8. Salt Water Taffy

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All the nutritional value of a conversation with Mike “The Situation,” these chewy treats are the bane of brace-wearing children everywhere.  Each box always includes some bullshit story about how the taffy was invented when candy fell into seawater, but you’re mostly just interested in getting the good flavors and shafting your siblings with the banana and licorice. Corn syrup + artificial flavoring = awesome. (Photo: Live?Laugh?Love)

7. Boardwalk Fries

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These things are so good that they made a mediocre fast food franchise out of them!  The signs that say the fries are cooked in “100% peanut oil” were tantalizingly exotic to a third grader in the 1980s (yeah, my horizons have expanded since then), and the fact that they sliced the potatoes on premises made it even more fun.  The medium-cut sticks are great for the most part  — the fries that you get from the center of the potatoes are long and perfectly cooked — but the unfortunate slices that are nicked off the edges invariably lead to a pile of deep-fried potato skins in the bottom of your paper cup.  Bummer. (Photo: roboppy)

6. Binge Drinking

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Sure, it’s not technically a food item, but it does account for approximately 56% of the total calories consumed at the Jersey shore.  In fact, I think that national Beer Pong Championships are held in Wildwood Crest. (Photo: C o l i n)

Next: Top 5 Jersey Shore Foods

Top 10 Creepy Halloween Recipes

Is it just us, or do Halloween recipes get creepier and simultaneously more delicious every year? Halloween isn’t just about candy and Halloween costumes any more. Here are our top 10 favorite finds from around the web:

10. Bloody Eyeballs

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Canary Girl shaped her olive-topped eyes out of ground chicken, but suggests you can also use ground pork (or ground whatever you like).

9. Witches’ Fingers

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Las Vegas Food Adventures is baking these bloody (and yummy) almond-topped cookies.

8. Chicken Potpie with Crawling Hands

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Woman’s Day deconstructs potpie, with some added body parts.

7. Mummy Dogs

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My Little Corner of Savings has a recipe for these crescent roll and hot dog creations. The little mustard eyes are a nice touch.

6. Morning Mummys

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Next: The top 5

Our Top 10 Favorite Halloween Cakes

While we here at ES put most of our Halloween energy into thinking up weird food costumes, we’ve noticed in the past couple of years that our friends around the blogosphere and flickr-verse have been getting crazy creative with the cakes for this particular holiday season. Since you know we can’t bake to save our lives, let’s take a look at a few of the freakiest, loveliest cakes we’ve spied around the web.

10. Black Spider Wedding Cake

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(Pag asa)

9. Zombie Fingers Cake

zombie fingers cake

(Dessert by Candy — includes full recipe)

8. Jack-o-Lantern Cake

jack-o-lantern cake

(Williams-Sonoma, where you can actually buy a $99 pan specifically for making this cake)

7. Vampire Bat Cake

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(My Own Sweet Thyme — includes step-by-step instructions.)

6. Bloody Eyeballs Cake

bloody eyeballs cake

(megpi)

5. Mad Scientist Cake

mad scientist cake

(Don Buciak)

4. Cockroach Cake

cockroach cake

(Make)

3. Zombie Cake

zombie cake

(Crafster)

2. Kitty Litter Cake

kitty litter cake

(Cleverswine) (plus recipe here)

1. Bleeding Heart (and all the other organs, too) Cake

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(Do It Myself! — includes full instructions)

What other kinds of cakes are all you weirdos baking! Drop your links in the comments.

All of our Halloween costumes, cocktails and recipes — in Endless Halloween

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