1. They take their fried dough seriously. Like, realllllllly seriously.
2. Yes, you see that right. In case these beignet fingers didn’t come with enough powdered sugar, there is extra on the table.
3. This entire tray cost $2.20.
Coffee Call / Baton Rouge, La.
Well, the lead-up games are over, which means it’s time for that two weeks of pre-Super Bowl hype…aka recipe planning!
America’s game means America’s food, so it’s time to break out the deep fryer. This recipe uses the “Hot Mama” pickles from Lynnae’s Gourmet Pickles–which come with a bonus jalapeno kick in the brine–for some spicy, crispy, pickle-y bites of goodness
So after doing extensive research for an up-coming blog post involving whiskey with a couple of friends who own a medical marijuana dispensary, I was on my way home when, for some unexplained reason, I had a sudden urge to consume multiple packages of Hostess Twinkies. Maybe it was spawned from recent reports announcing their soon demise (or perhaps I just had a sweet tooth), but I was suddenly jonesin’ for some serious sponge cake face time. Luckily for me (and those around me), I was not driving but had a sympathetic chauffeur who gladly pulled into the next 7-Eleven in order to shut me up, as well as to record my drunken, zombie-like stagger into the store on his iPhone.
While at the cake and cookie display I found that indeed the Hostess Twinkies were no longer being stocked. In its place was the ‘Cloud Cake’ made by Little Debbie which looked to be a Twinkie clone. I encountered two young skateboard enthusiasts who were eating out of opened packages of cherry pies and mini donuts. They had blazing red slits for eyes and looked to be in a mild state of euphoria as I reached across them and grabbed a box of those golden crème filled delights. “Dude, those are awesome!” said the taller of the two. “You’re gonna be soooo stoked!”
I thanked him for his support, paid for my treasures and then treated my chauffeur to a YouTube-worthy clip of me face planting after tripping over a parking curb. Thirty minutes later I was alone in my kitchen and just about to sample one of the Cloud Cakes when I noticed that on my counter was a large bag of un-used limes. For some reason a key lime pie also sounded like something that would taste really good at this moment and I realized that I had all the ingredients. I decided that now would be a good time to make that pie since I needed something to keep my hands busy as I was desperately trying to regain sobriety. I un-wrapped my first pack of Twinkies, eh…Cloud Cake, and then went to the freezer and pulled out my store-bought, pre-made deep-dish pie crust. And just as I was about to take my first bite of that bright yellow love log, it slipped out of my hand and fell into the pie tin. Suddenly, there was a bright light and the sound of angels singing! The room began to slowly spin and the music started to intensify! Could this be a sign from above?
Nah, I was pretty wasted. So I thought I’d combine the two and this is what I came up with.
Here at Endless Simmer, we pledge allegiance to two things: this great country we call America, and all the ridic food treasures it holds within. Fine citizens of our sea-to-shining-sea have taken it upon themselves to honor the former with the latter; there are so many entertaining food flags lurking around the internet. Just in time for the daydrinking-fueled, explosion-laden meatstravaganza that is the celebration of our glorious nation’s birth, here are our T10AFMOOF: Top 10 American Flags Made Out Of Food.
Like many of life’s greatest and most inspirational mysteries, we’re not sure exactly where it originated… but this beautiful Taco Bell Hot Sauce Flag has been making the rounds on Twitter lately. We support it. Not a bad idea for a festive “tablescape” if you’re serving tacos at your holiday gathering.
Cake? Fine. Cake pops? Sure, whatever. Cake pops remade into cake?! Invention and the freedom to do what you want is the backbone of this great country! We’ll take it! Thanks, Bakerella.
Mom to 2 Posh Lil Divas has the right idea: start your day the American way! To turn boring, regular pancakes into spectacularly patriotic pancakes that even George Washington would be proud of, all you need is some food coloring and chocolate chips.
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By this point in my Endless Simmer career (and let’s face it, my career as a human being in general), I have become the go-to girl when it comes to crazy/ridiculous/ill-fated novelty alcoholic endeavors. (Well, to be fair, this honor is shared with my booze soulmate, ML.)
So it should come as no shock that when Van Gogh wanted to send us a bottle of its new PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY FLAVORED VODKA to sample, I was the first (and only) writer to jump at the chance to experience such a creation. I didn’t have the highest of hopes for it, but come on, I never really have dreams of glory for any of my drunken experiences. All I hope for are entertaining stories we can retell in the future. And by “entertaining” I mean “humiliating,” but whatever.
My roommates and I decided to throw together a last-minute “flavored vodka tasting party” (classy) to poll people on the PB&J vodka. As one might imagine, the reactions were not the most positive. Don’t get me wrong, I love vodka. I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But something seems a bit…. off about this booze.
Their website describes it as such:
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Sometimes it seems certain foods were invented purely to be made fun of on Endless Simmer. Thank you, Japan, for being more disgustingly, weirdly American than even America can be.
Read: Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza Comes With Mustard Drizzle
State fair season may still be several months away, but at ES we think about corn dogs 24/7/365. Now, here’s a corn dog even ya’ll uppity foodies won’t be ashamed to embrace.
Chef Kyle Rourke of Red Star Tavern in Portland has been giving corn dogs all kinds of gourmet upgrades, serving rabbit corn dogs with carrot-habanero dip, lobster corn dogs with mango relish, and venison corn dog with fig preserve. We asked him to share a recipe for one from his menu that’s just slightly more acceptable for home cooks.
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