Peanut Butter and Jell-WHY?!? Vodka

By this point in my Endless Simmer career (and let’s face it, my career as a human being in general), I have become the go-to girl when it comes to crazy/ridiculous/ill-fated novelty alcoholic endeavors. (Well, to be fair, this honor is shared with my booze soulmate, ML.)

So it should come as no shock that when Van Gogh wanted to send us a bottle of its new PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY FLAVORED VODKA to sample, I was the first (and only) writer to jump at the chance to experience such a creation. I didn’t have the highest of hopes for it, but come on, I never really have dreams of glory for any of my drunken experiences. All I hope for are entertaining stories we can retell in the future. And by “entertaining” I mean “humiliating,” but whatever.

My roommates and I decided to throw together a last-minute “flavored vodka tasting party” (classy) to poll people on the PB&J vodka. As one might imagine, the reactions were not the most positive. Don’t get me wrong, I love vodka. I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But something seems a bit…. off about this booze.

Their website describes it as such:

The fragrance of our PB&J vodka is predominantly of peanuts complemented by the fresh fruit aroma of raspberry. In the mouth, the roles are reversed with the raspberry taking center stage supported by the toasty flavor of peanut butter and a hint of vanilla on the side.

But here’s how WE described it, both by itself and mixed with the suggested sodas from the website’s “recipes” —

Straight up, on the rocks

• “Not as bad as I thought it would be.”
• “The nose smells like rotting pecans to me. I taste it and I feel like I’m four, like I’m a little kid” (because little kids love vodka, obviously).
• “At first it smelled like PB&J but now it doesn’t at all.”
• “Slightly sweet aroma, smell gets bad after a while.”

With Dr Pepper

• “Mixed with the Dr. Pepper, it has a nutty aftertaste.”
• “It tastes like licorice, in a bad way.”

With Coke

• “I can tolerate the Dr. Pepper, but I would not drink it with Coke again.”
• “This just tastes like… ughhh… like I left the Coke in my car and it went bad. I don’t know which one I like LESS!”
• “Oh yeah. That’s *real* not good.”

Shaken with a combo of Coke and Dr. Pepper 

• “IT LOOKS LIKE SWAMP WATER!”
• “It tastes like bad root beer… To be fair, I feel like this is the best yet.”
• “It’s like a melting pot of ‘bad’ all together, somehow working itself out.”

So… yeah. Not exactly glowing reviews. But! One of our friends had the foresight to bring ingredients for a custom cocktail! This was the best one yet.

 

The ES Peanut Butter and Jelly Vodka Cocktail

Take 1 tbsp butter, melt it in the microwave, and dip the rim of a martini glass into it.

Then dip the buttered rim into a shallow bowl of graham cracker crumbs.

Now, shake together:
1 shot PB&J vodka
1/2 shot Framboise
1/2 shot whole milk

Fill your glass. Garnish with raspberries.

There you have it! Just like eating lunch on the playground.

It was pretty good, for what it was. Or as I eloquently put it (and I think offended some girl who came to the party): “I mean… it’s sweet, pink, and creamy… definitely the kind of drink some girls would order.”

PB&J vodka: It’s good…. for some girls, I guess. Personally, I think I’ll stick to my trusty boxed wine and mid-grade whiskey.