Election Day Special: Who Eats It Better?!

Well, it’s here, the day we’ve been waiting for all year: National Nachos Day. No, I’m just kidding—I’m talking about Election Day, of course! (But seriously, it actually is National Nachos Day as well, so maybe hit up your local Mexican restaurant after visiting the polls today.)

I know a lot of people like to make their decision by examining where the candidates stand on important issues such as the economy, civil rights, coolness factor, and international relations, but for our endorsement, Endless Simmer cuts through the crap to the only thing that matters: who eats it better?!

Round One: Ice Cream

(photo: WYNT)


(photo: Buzzfeed)

Romney goes for a tall cone o’ soft serve, which is one of my favorite treats. (Seriously, every time we drive by a Dairy Queen on a road trip, I scream “DQ!!!” like a rabid six year old.) Obama, on the other hand, goes for a controversial choice: mint chocolate chip eaten with a spoon. I’m not kidding about the controversy; bloggers had a heyday  about Obama’s outrageous rebellion. (“If he wanted to eat with a spoon, he should have ordered ice cream in a cup!”) Well, guess what, haters: I also eat ice cream out of cones with a spoon. Sometimes my teeth are sensitive! I’m glad to see our sweet-toothed POTUS understands my struggles.

Ice Cream Winner: Obama

Round Two: Chicken

(photo: Gigabiting)


(photo: Hard Grubbin)

Well, it’s reassuring to know that both of our options aren’t afraid to grub down on some bird. Romney seems a bit… uh… glazed over during the whole thing, while Obama aggressively tears into his wing. What does this mean? It probably means nothing. Both of these political bros are just chowing down on some chicken, and while Romney looks perilously close to the mortal sin of sticking his fork into that drumstick, he doesn’t actually do it.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner: Neither. Tie.

Round Three: Hot Dogs

(photo: DailyAdvance)

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Hott Links: Politics, Pizza, Pinkberry and Poetry


– Breaking news from the Endless Simmer DC Bureau. I would like to pre-emphasize that this is not a joke. The DC City Council is considering banning jumbo slice pizza:

Ward 1 D.C. Councilman Jim Graham, who represents Adams Morgan, says the pizza parlors selling single slices along 18th Street, some of which are open until 4:30 a.m., are part of the problem when it comes a recent rash of street fights, stabbings, muggings and even a shootout involving two plainclothes police officers…

While most people who spoke with ABC 7 in Adams Morgan thought the proposal was a joke, Councilman Graham said he is very serious. He says he’s already talked to the mayor about the issue and is drafting legislation.

People like Jim Graham are the reason the Libertarian Party exists. Give me pizza or give me death!

– Down at the White House, President Obama doesn’t have to worry about his girls gorging on any dangerous jumbo slice. All Sasha and Mahlia want is some Pinkberry. And since DC has no Pinkberry stores, the White House chef has learned to recreate the recipe, and even lets the girls make up their own flavors. Sweet deal.

– Speaking of the Obamas, we leave you today with further concrete proof that the President is a foodie. The NYT just dug up this poem Obama wrote while enrolled at Occidental University:


Under water grottoes, caverns
Filled with apes
That eat figs.
Stepping on the figs
That the apes
Eat, they crunch.
The apes howl, bare
Their fangs, dance,
Tumble in the
Rushing water,
Musty, wet pelts
Glistening in the blue.

–Barack Obama

Now write us one about bacon, Barack!

(Photo: mp459)

Pardon Us, Mr. President

pardon us for our good taste

Some of you are probably Obama-burgered out.  But we had to report on this new tidbit on Dijon-gate.  You know how Sean Hannity totally dissed the Prez’s codiment choice last week, implying the decision to put grey poupon on a burger was as commie/unAmerican as Nikita Khruschev?

Well watch out Hannity, Kraft foods totally has the Prez’s back!  TOTALLY! They’ve issued the following press release that we just had to feature for the delight or disgust of ESers everywhere:

May 8, 2009

The Honorable Barack H. Obama
President of the United States
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20006

Dear Mr. President:

We applaud you, Mr. President, for exercising your freedom of taste when recently ordering a burger with Dijon mustard. We’re always happy to see people use Dijon mustard to add flair and flavor to their favorite foods. The right to choose condiments freely is quintessentially American and embodies the spirit of our democracy.

So we urge you to respond to “Dijon-gate” by issuing a “pardon” to any American who has ever been criticized for putting a liberal spread of Dijon mustard on a burger or a conservative dollop on a ham & cheese sandwich. These “Pardon Me for Loving Dijon” proclamations will empower the millions of Dijon mustard-loving Americans to ask for their favorite condiment with pride.

Respectfully yours,


Pic: Grey Poupon Pardon

Let’s put it to the people:  Is yellow mustard more inherently American than Grey Poupon? Discuss!

Breaking…Obama Burger Week Still Going


Barack may trek out to NoVa for his socialist burger fix, but his ladyfriend knows you don’t have to leave the Hill for a quality beef patty. Yup, Michelle Obama was spotted today lunching at Good Stuff Eatery, the burger joint owned by ES BFF Spike Mendelsohn, of Top Chef fame.  No word yet on what she ordered. Anyone see her?

And more important, will Michelle bring Barack back next time? Make sure to get your guess in for the Where Will Obama Eat Next contest.

(Photo: DC 365)

Hott Link: Yes We Carve

laura_duris.jpgmrutherford.jpg pmckee.jpgblawrence.jpg

OK, this one is only nominally about food, but we’ve got Halloween fever, with a side case of Obamania. Check out more Barack O’ Lanterns at Yes We Carve.