The Turducken of Meat: Meatloafenstein

Maybe it’s because of Halloween, or maybe it’s because of the alcohol, but whatever the reason, like my old buddy Dr. Frankenstein, I’VE CREATED A MONSTER! You might think me mad but it came to me while I was enjoying a bottle of scotch and wrestling with the concept of a ‘Turducken.’ You know, the bird stuffed inside a bird stuffed inside a bird. Although I could appreciate the premise, I’m not that much into eating fowl. But wait, I thought! What if I could take my favorite meats—chopped steak, veal, sausage, prosciutto and bacon— and combine them together in a similar fashion? What if I took a pork kielbasa, wrapped it in bacon, and stuffed that inside my favorite meatloaf? What if………

MMWOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! (That’s supposed to be crazy, maniacal laughter). Igor! Ready the kites! There’s a storm approaching and I’ve assembled the parts! Lock the doors! Shield your eyes! Throw the switch – NOWWWWWWW!!

Katt’s ‘Meatloafenstein Monster’ with Igor’s ‘Hell-Fire Hot Sauce’

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An Easy Way to Eat in Costume: Teensy Pumpkin Pies

“Tiny,” “miniature,” and “small” are probably words you’d never find in a description of ES anything (or ML anything, for that matter). Under normal circumstances, when it comes to food, I’d never recommend downsizing—growing up with an Armenian mother and grandmother meant the house was full of food all the time. Five people are coming for dinner? Better get enough for 20, you never know. Or if you’re at my parents parties…better get double, because everyone’s going to want to eat another meal after they’re drunk.

When I don’t have a big enough portion size on my plate, I get a “That’s ALL you’re eating?” from both parents, plus an intervention about anorexia (come on). However, in my opinion, there’s one exception to this huge rule. Have you ever been to a party (or more specifically, a networking/media event) where you’re given full-size portions of something, and supposed to eat them with a fork, while holding your (full-size) drink and mingling at the same time? Me too, and it drives me effing crazy, to the point where I’d rather not eat instead of not enjoy my food. Which more often than not results in a very drunk ML.

Luckily, Teri Lyn Fisher and Jenny Park have found a solution to this problem with their new book, Tiny Food Party. To test the functionality, I’ll be holding my own Tiny Food Party later this month (recap to follow, if I’m sober enough to remember any of it). As an added bonus, Teri Lyn and Jenny have given me some tiny Halloween recipes, for a flawless (or just fun), cake-pop free Halloween. How are you supposed to eat pie with a fork in a costume, anyway?

Teensy Pumpkin Pies

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8 Recipes Inspired By Halloween Candy

Halloween is always fun, but eventually you reach an age when candy alone just isn’t exciting enough anymore. And that’s when you start getting creative.

1. Milky Way Brownies

What’s better than a candy bar? A candy bar inside a chocolate brownie.

Recipe: Recipe Girl

2. Snickers Cupcakes

The caramel, peanut-y goodness of America’s favorite candy bar, re-imagined as a cupcake.

Recipe: Annie’s Eats

3. Butterfinger Cheesecake

Our own Bakers Royale dreamed up this pretzel-butterfinger-chocolate concoction.

Recipe: Bakers Royale

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Endless Poptails: Halloween Edition

We figured since it’s candy month, it is time to get shaking and turn some candy into, what else…a poptail!

We’ve scientifically dissected the Three Musketeers bar and broken down its nugget-y component. After pouring over our notes, we got mixing and testing with one shot after another and another…and, another.

Finally passing muster in our test kitchen, may we present a Halloween candy-cocktail-on-a-stick that is most definitely not for youngsters.

Three Musketeers Poptail

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Hallo-Baking: Pumpkin Caramel Mousse Cake

Pumpkin Caramel Mousse Cake_Endless Simmer

What, you thought we were done with pumpkin recipes? Here’s one more last-minute Halloween dessert idea to serve alongside your spooky cocktails.

The Pumpkin Caramel Mousse is killer. It’s light and smooth in texture, full in flavor and only takes 15 minutes to make. For those of you who want to get in and get out of the kitchen, you can forgo the joconde cake and simply serve the mousse in ramekins or in Martini glasses for some kicked-up elegance. But if you’ve got the time, the cake makes it a full dessert.

A few notes:

  • The recipe I used for the joconde cake and decorative paste is from The Professional Pastry Chef by Bo Friberg. For an online recipe resource click here.
  • If you decide to make the joconde cake with the decorative decal, start with a silpat, not parchment paper. The small freeze time required for the decorative paste will cause the parchment paper to shrink and ripple and ultimately affect the shape of the finished cake.

Pumpkin Caramel Mousse Cake
Yields 16 2×3 inch cakes

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Wings of Death

wingsofdeath

When my cohorts at ES asked me to develop a deadly but delicious Halloween recipe, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to try out my brand new bottle of Bacon Hot Sauce. Because if you’ve ever asked yourself, “What makes any dish better—bacon or hot sauce?” clearly you know the answer is both.

Although there’s no actual bacon in the hot sauce, it has an interesting smokehouse-style kick. In the spirit of Halloween, I used the hot sauce for a ghoulish creation that may knock a few years off your life in one sitting.

Wings of Death
Chicken wings wrapped in spicy capicola and slathered in bacon hot sauce

2 dozen chicken wings, patted dry

1 bottle of bacon hot sauce (5 oz.)

1 stick of unsalted butter (8 tablespoons)

salt & pepper

24 thin slices of hot capicola

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Top 10 Halloween Cocktails

It’s not really the costumes. It’s not even the candy. The real reason we love Halloween—it’s another excuse to get drunk. Here are some ideas for scary, beautiful and tasty libations.

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10. Brain Hemorrhage

Who knew Bailey’s actually had a purpose in life? [TangoPango]

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9. Bloody Apple Cranberry Cocktail

Apple cider and apple vodka up the seasonal quotient. [The Cooking Photographer]

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8. Blood Drip Vampire Style Martini

Making this blood is as easy as candy. Wait, that’s not the saying. [Hostess with the Mostess]

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7. Witches Brew

Although it’s a virgin drink, it still contains a beating heart (red heart-shaped Runts). [Fahrenheit350]

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