Only in America -

by tvff

What, No Breadsticks?

Edible serving vessels tend to work better in theory than in practice. That hollowed-out loaf of bread that holds your spinach dip is always a bit of a disappointment. Taco Bell has those edible salad bowls which aren’t bad until you get down below the “refried bean equator,” at which point things tend to get a bit soggy.

Have you ever been working your way through a nice serving of baked pasta, al forno for our Italian friends, and thought to yourself, “This would be so much better if I could eat the cookware?”

Well, for the low, low price of six bucks, you can live out your fantasy thanks to the folks at Domino’s Pizza. The new bread bowl pasta features one of five choices of baked pasta, including flavors such as primavera, alfredo and sausage marinara, surrounded by an edible bowl made of pizza dough. If that sounds delicious to you, then you’re likely addicted to white flour like I am.

Fortunately, I’m running a marathon this weekend, so one of these puppies will make for the perfect carbo-loading feast. And if you have a sneaking suspicion that it may not be the healthiest menu choice, wait until you hear the actual numbers…

Pardon Us, Mr. President

Some of you are probably Obama-burgered out. But we had to report on this new tidbit on Dijon-gate. You know how Sean Hannity totally dissed the Prez’s codiment choice last week, implying the decision to put grey poupon on a burger was as commie/unAmerican as Nikita Khruschev?

Well watch out Hannity, Kraft foods totally has the Prez’s back! TOTALLY! They’ve issued the following press release that we just had to feature for the delight or disgust of ESers everywhere:

May 8, 2009

The Honorable Barack H. Obama
President of the United States
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20006

Dear Mr. President:

We applaud you, Mr. President, for exercising your freedom of taste when recently ordering a burger with Dijon mustard. We’re always happy to see people use Dijon mustard to add flair and flavor to their favorite foods. The right to choose condiments freely is quintessentially American and embodies the spirit of our democracy.

So we urge you to respond to “Dijon-gate” by issuing a “pardon” to any American who has ever been criticized for putting a liberal spread of Dijon mustard on a burger or a conservative dollop on a ham & cheese sandwich. These “Pardon Me for Loving Dijon” proclamations will empower the millions of Dijon mustard-loving Americans to ask for their favorite condiment with pride.

Respectfully yours,

The GREY POUPON Team
www.greypoupon.com

Pic: Grey Poupon Pardon

Let’s put it to the people: Is yellow mustard more inherently American than Grey Poupon? Discuss!

in Politics 20 comments

by ML

Kids Are People Too

Someone, somewhere, started the philosophy that children are unable to eat the same food as adults. The “kid friendly” slogan attached itself to many restaurants and prepared food brands which successfully enticed parents to let their children eat crap. But really, what makes food kid friendly?

The fact that these offerings are (normally) junk food?
The fact that kids are happier when they’re eating fat?
The fact that their choices are all delicious deep fried?

I know some kids truly don’t care for certain foods, the same way I don’t like fruit flavored yogurt or squid sashimi. However, it’s impossible for a child to dislike everything but fried potatoes.

Adults have a variety of choices, yet the kids menu normally consists of only a few options: chicken fingers, macaroni and cheese or hot dogs. Why can’t a lobster or fettuccine alfredo be kid friendly? Does picky really mean they can’t be at least offered a variety?

America’s Still Got It, Folks

Breaking news from the Endless Eggs Network:

You can now buy hard-boiled pre-peeled eggs in a bag. Sandra Lee’s life just got ten times easier. So far, this new product is mostly available only in the South and Midwest. Not sayin, just sayin.

in Eggs 11 comments

by BS

Lard: So Hot Right Now?

Every cook has been there. You find a much-wanted recipe — usually for something with an international flair, like tamales, arepas, or dumplings — you read through it thinking, “yeah, I can totally make this at home,” but then the recipe gets to the point: Lard. Oh right, that’s why it tastes so frigging good.

I always flip past a recipe once I realize it calls for lard, and I think many Americans are the same way. We’ll drown our dishes in pounds of butter, cover them in gallons of EVOO, and of course we’ll batter and deep-fry anything. But lard is just beyond the pale. So I was rather intrigued by this line in today’s NYT piece about Chilean-style empanadas:

The dough is made with lard.

“Though we’ve started producing very good olive oil in Chile, and it’s used more and more, dough or pastry is never made with it,” Ms. Hamilton said. She added that she finds it a little odd that United States cooks are reluctant to use lard, because it has less saturated and more unsaturated fat than butter.

Wait a minute, does this mean lard is OK now? Better than butter, even? We can use it without feeling like we’re pushing every dinner guest a big step close to a certain early death? This could open up a whole new world of cooking possibilities. But of course I have to check with ES-ers first. What do you think? To lard or not to lard?

(Photo: Another Pint Please)

in Trends 12 comments

by Maids

Paging PETA: Vegetarianism is Not the New Weight-Loss Secret

Dear PETA,

You recently announced the winners of your “Sexiest Vegetarians Next Door” contest. Now, PETA I know you’ve gotten into trouble with folks before for sexing up vegetarianism while promoting the dominant body paradigm (naked pics of Pam Anderson pervade PETA propaganda, but for some reason you PETA folks haven’t asked supporter Forest Whitaker to take any nudey photos).

As a vegetarian I’m more than a little peeved by the fact that PETA is trying to hype vegetarianism as a weight-loss or healthy diet trend (and it’s not because I didn’t make your sexiest vegetarians list, though I am a little hurt you didn’t think of me). Vegetarianism can be healthy and it can be unhealthy, vegetarians can be obese and skinny and everything in between. I know a ton of vegetarians who only eat french fries and fake chicken nuggets. Vegetarianism is not necessarily the road to health or weight-management and I wish you PETA folks would stop advertising it as such.

Take this year’s female winner, blond bombshell Amber of Minnesota. PETA’s website explains:

“Amber, a Minnesota native, decided to go vegetarian after reading the book Skinny Bitch and doing research on making the switch, and she’s thrilled with the results!”

Woo frackin hoo! It takes far more than not eating meat to look that svelt in a bikini, lemme tell you!

As for your male sexiest vegetarian, Monty (um, does he have a sock stuffed into those porn-star briefs or is he almost giving us the full Monty?) he similarly got on the vegetarian caravan for “health” reasons:

A Step Up From Blue Raspberry Blow Pops

Oh, food world. You’ve really gone and done it now.

I found this amazingness/ridiculousness in a gift bag following a press event last week at Fiamma. (Yes, it’s closed, but they’ve still got a branch open in Vegas so they flew chef Carlos Buscaglia in to preview his truffle-tastic spring menu.)

I just felt the need to share with you all that such a thing exists.

in Desserts 7 comments

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