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by Bliz

A Very Uniq Salad

I want you guys to meet my new friend Uniq. Say hi Uniq. Aww, he’s a bit shy. But in fairness if you were the ugly duckling in the family, you may not always warm to strangers either. Give Uniq a break next time you see him on the produce isle, he kinda looks like shit, but this little guy has some really excellent goodies inside.

The Uniq fruit hails all the way from the island of Jamaica where someone that had very recently smoked a dubie had an epiphany about marrying a grapefruit with a tangerine. Amazingly, this idea lasted past the munchies phase and Jamaica began harvesting and exporting the fruit by branding it with the tragically fitting name, the Ugli fruit. Shockingly, the orders for the exotic ugli fruit were not overwhelming. Fortunately for us, some marketing exec (also probably after smoking a dubie) pushed to have the fruit rebranded as the Uniq fruit. That’s right Uniq, you’re not fat, you’re just big-boned.

Still suspect? Maybe a little jump will change your mind..

by gansie

Partially Legit Pesto

I’ve stumbled upon this dilemma before, even though BS provided a fairly clear answer. But after my latest pesto abortion (above), I decided to actually be the writer I strive to be and investigate.

Deducting from The New Food Lover’s Companion, the main tenets of a pesto come from the Italian origin of the name, “to pound” and the cooking method, well, is the uncooking method. The ingredients of a pesto should be crushed together to create a raw sauce. The pulveration of the sauce can be through either a mortar and pestle or a food processor. And the uncooked part, well, I guess the sauce is not meant to be warmed by fire.

My newest “pesto” therefore is only partially legit. I used my mini-food processor, but with the bitey combination of raw garlic and arugula (so plentiful at the farmers’ market!), I felt the need to heat it through, for really just as long as the pasta cooked and it surely helped with the sting of the sauce.

And just to stick it to TVFF and all you other multi-way haters, I went for a dual usage of the arugula – in the pesto and then added an overwhelming handful to swim with the noodles.

Unorthodox recipe post jump.

in Cheese / Featured / Recipe 8 comments

by C. Christy Concrete

Mint Julep Cupcakes

_{No more for me, thanks; I’m driving.}

May isn’t the most holiday-heavy month of the year, and because of that, most people tend to associate it with one of two days: Memorial Day, which is a real holiday, and Cinco de Mayo, which is not. For people of the Southern persuasion, however, May is all about the first Saturday of the month: the running of the first leg of the Triple Crown, the most exciting two minutes in sports, Kentucky Derby Day. Big hats, mint juleps, blue grass, Hot Browns, mint juleps, bourbon, fried green tomatoes, mint juleps, etc. Oh, and there’s a horse race or something, too.

But you needn’t celebrate horse racing for only three days of the year. (Fine, just two days – only douchebag frat boys celebrate Preakness.)

Like most legacy cocktails, the history of the mint julep is clouded in the hangover of the past. The name itself is a mutation of the Persian word for “rosewater,” and we can see how far it’s come from that simple definition. Even just a debate over the proper preparation of the drink is equivalent to fightin’ words in some circles of the Deep South. Muddle the mint or no? Simple syrup or superfine sugar? Cracked ice or seltzer water? It hardly matters, since a long drink like the mint julep is little more than a bourbon delivery system anyway. Besides, we’re making cupcakes today, albeit those of the boozy, minty, julep-y variety.

My horse lost, by the way. Stupid longshots. Off to the glue factory, you worthless flea biscuit!

in Desserts / Endless Cupcakes / Featured / Holiday / Recipe 18 comments

by Maids

Why Do I Love the ‘Hungry Girl’ But Hate the ‘Bitches’?

vs.

First, My Rant

I have to admit that I harbored a certain prejudice against the Skinny Bitches before I ever cracked the binding of their book, (which I did look through about a month back as I was killing time during a long airport lay-over). I didn’t like the idea behind their book, I didn’t like the title, and I haven’t liked the people I’ve met who rave about the book and how it’s changed their lives. My worst fears were confirmed when I read the first few pages and browsed the index and chapter headings. The book capitalizes on the worst of body-loathing and self-loathing that permeates our culture, but the ‘Bitches’ insist that their book is dedicated to changing the world by converting people to a vegan diet that will get them to eat better. But they aren’t just meat haters (a loathing which I can understand…. as I’m just not that into the harvesting and consumption of flesh myself). They hate on caffeine, sugar, wine, fun, and all human bodies that don’t live up to the painstakingly emaciated “ideal.”

The Bitches initiate their readers into their bitchy crew with heavy doses of castigation (they inform their readers that they are suffering from “bloated fat pig syndrome.” Ouch…. please miss, may I have another?), followed by model-body idolatry (“healthy = skinny”) , topped with a whole slew of rules we should all follow more closely than the ten commandments (like “sugar is the devil” and drinking alcohol “equals fat-pig syndrome” and “coffee is for pussies”). They also have a whole chapter dedicated to Pooping. Hmmm… do I smell former laxative abusers therein….?

More on the “Bitches” I hate, the “Hungry Girl” I love, and a chance to voice your views after the jump…

in Featured / Rants & Raves / Trends 49 comments

by Allyson

Cholesterol of Champions: Breakfast Pizza

My husband and I make pizza almost every weekend, and as far as we’re concerned, the weirder the better. We’d been thinking for a long time about a breakfast pizza, and finally decided to give it a go, drawing our inspiration from eggs Benedict…

in Cheese / Eggs / Featured / Recipe / Veggie 4 comments