Burns My Bacon: Whiny Baristas

Here I am, sitting in Starbucks with my scholarly stash working on my scholarly grad school work with my pinky up, and I’m interrupted. “Can’t you see I’m doing something?!” he says in a whiny voice as he piles up sugar in the raw packets while chatting with his classmates (I’ll get to that later). Meanwhile, the line is going out the door because everybody needs their damn skinny, no-whip, triple-double-mocha-java.

Time passes…I get nowhere in my homework because now the whiny voice is getting loud. Meanwhile another gent is mopping the floor after he single-handedly saved the day by serving up hand-crafted beverages to all of the customers with personalized cups (that’s right, they put your name on it). “Look dude, if you want to talk, then let’s talk.” Whiny voice—“Uh, yeah I want to.” And they storm off to the back for what is clearly an epic barista battle.

What was it I was doing? Oh yeah, I paid $50 for to use their free wireless to work while gently sipping on my hand-crafted, personalized beverage (skinny peppermint mocha if you must know—hold the WHIP—that’s right BRIAN, I’m watching my diet, and I may even run after this!) Things are getting quiet, and I can finally get into my hipster-cafe mode as I enjoy the strumming of an acoustic Christmas song. The mopping artisan appears to have left the scene. Crisis averted and the drama’s over. Clearly sugar in the raw is more important than making everyone’s night perfect with the touch of love put into every cafe cup.

How do I know the whiny kid was chatting with his classmates? Well the sweet strums of an acoustic Christmas and my eloquently written graduate work were interrupted yet again by the whiny barista discussing a school project. Never mind that creamer needs to be refilled, the straws need to be put in order, and the toilet needs to be scrubbed. Go do your homework. And don’t mind the rest of us who’ve actually paid to be here rather than are getting paid. Maybe I should apply for a job here so I can at least get paid to do my homework.

Whining bugs me to begin with, but when you are getting paid to get homework done, and you are whining about piling up sugar packets, I lose tolerance. What makes it worse? Interrupting my groove, mang. Who do you think you are?

*I wanted to take a picture of the actual whiner, but I guess that would be some kind of violation of privacy. So instead I “hand-crafted” a picture of my face as he whines. And of course, he FAILS.

**Snebbu is also known as Mubbs Mubbens on movember.com. He is committed to bringing awareness to Men’s Health issues and raising money to fight prostate cancer and testicular cancer. You can check out his site, rate his sweet stash, and contribute to the cause here!**