Parsnips are the New Prozac

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I’m cranky. Yea, I’m cranky. That’s what it is. It’s been a cold (but, I have to admit, awesomely snowy) winter. And a long winter. It’s March and I’m still cold.

I haven’t cooked anything worth a fucking dime. And I hate that expression. But it’s true. Sure, I’ve discovered cottage cheese and smoked whitefish, but then what?

Nothing.

I need the summer’s farmers market. I need to be surrounded with tomatoes and eggplants and zucchinis. I need spring.

While the warmth won’t be coming for many more weeks, I did find something to keep me happy about the abundance of root vegetables. And it was at my neighborhood pizza place. I know, weird.

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ES Local: What’s Eating DC

Our weekly local roundup of the best eating and drinking going down in Washington, DC…

Event of the Week: On Wednesday, March 10, Brasserie Beck’s Thor Cheston and Brabo’s Leah Dedmon battle it out at Brabo By Robert Wiedmaier to decide which pairs better, beer or wine?
View ES Local: What’s Eating DC in a larger map

Remember, you can check out the constantly updated map any day of the week.

If you represent a restaurant or bar and wish to have your event listed on the ES Local: What’s Eating DC map, please write to me at britannia(at)endlesssimmer(dot)com.

Burns My Bacon: Never-Ending Salad Ingredients

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Before I became food-obsessed I was very happy eating chicken caesar salads all of the time.

ALL OF THE TIME.

I ate them as a starter salad, as an entree, and once in a while – in a wrap. My favorite chicken caesar salad wrap is from the chain, SaladWorks. My sister and I would always eat there whenever I came home from college. I’m trying to think back on our orders: I would sub-in hard boiled eggs for croutons, and I think she kept the croutons in, but maybe added tomato? Sherry – remember?

Unfortunately, there are no SaladWorks in my area (although I just discovered the closest was in the dreaded land of University of Maryland’s College Park). I have long desired a similar concept in DC. I wanted lots of salad and wrap choices. Both stock orders and make-your-own.

In the past couple years, however, DC has caught on to the salad bar trend: Sweetgreen, Chop’t, Mixt Greens… And just like cupcakes, we take that trend and turn it into a never-ending nightmare. Yes, nightmare.

And now what I’ve asked for. Well, I’m regretting it. I just can’t get into the over-stuffed salads. I’m never satisfied when I choose my own, usually with spinach, chickpeas, avocado, goat cheese and beets. Which sounds freaking awesome, but is somehow dry. Or there’s not enough avocado. In fact at Chop’t they so heavily beat the avocado into the salad that instead of supple chunks, the avocado coats all the ingredients without any real avocado texture and flavor.

Maybe I can’t select the proper combination when there are so many choices and when I like so many different ingredients. And the salads and wraps that are created by the chef, well, it’s hard to choose that option when there’s the opportunity to create my own.

Should I just return to romaine, chicken and parm cheese?

(Photo @ Mixt Greens by Endless Simmer)

We Don’t Have Coke

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I am never early for anything in my life. And I’m barely ever on time. Late. Late. Late. So when I arrived at my friend Whitney’s bridal shower at exactly 11 am—showered, hung over, and pleased with my sexy parking spot with 51 minutes already stacked in the meter—I was of course, very proud of myself. Then I tried to open the door and it was locked. Yea, Farmers & Fishers wasn’t open. Panic. The manager came over and unlocked the door.

Manager: “We’re not open yet, we open at 11:30.”

Me: <Took a step back, swinging head from side to side, am I at the right restaurant? What day is it? Am I that hung over? Fuck.> “Um.”

Manager: “Are you here for the bridal shower.”

Me: <Phew!!!> “Yes.”

Manager: “It doesn’t start until 12. But you’re welcome to sit at the bar and wait.”

Me: <Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! The bar! I can’t even look at alcohol. Kill me.> Oh man. I’m never early for anything. Thanks. And where can I get some change for my meter?”

Manager: “The bar.”

After feeding the meter, I play on my iPhone for an hour (at the seat next to the host stand), mostly flipping through pictures of magnificent dresses on the Style.com app. When we get in the private room I’m offered wine. Instead I ask for a Coke.

Server: “We don’t have Coke…”

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ES Local: What’s Eating DC

Since you DC-based ESers got so excited about our snowy restaurant map, we’ve decided to roll with it. Welcome to ES Local: What’s Eating DC, our weekly update of food and dining events around the DC metro area. No more desperately searching the Internet for something new to eat. We’ve done the legwork for you, and each Thursday we’ll post the map here on ES. But check back to this post anytime as the map will be updated in real time.

Event of the Week: Order a Cuban Cocktail at Ceiba during happy hour on Monday, March 1 and get a free massage or facial.

View ES Local: What’s Eating DC in a larger map

If you are a restaurant or bar and wish to have your event listed on the ES Local: What’s Happening In DC map, please write to me at britannia(at)endlesssimmer(dot)com.

Kumquat Cupcakes

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Like most of us here, I’m no baker and don’t particularly enjoy the restrictions it brings. Exact measurements are not my thing. I like to experiment with ingredients, which is why I leave desserts alone. But, the purchase of a new Kitchen Aid mixer has propelled me into this unknown world, for my first true (not from a box) baking experience.

On a recent Sunday afternoon I was sitting at the bar of Café Atlántico when I came across kumquats soaking in St. Germain elderflower liquor.  Coincidentally, later in the day I spotted some kumquats at Whole Foods, which is a rarity. It was one of those situations where you never hear or see anything for a long time and then it all comes at once. I love those moments so I bought two quarts of the fruit, not having any idea what I was going to do with them until the walk home.

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Help DC Eat Through Snowpocalypse II

As readers around the country may have heard (just a few times), it’s snowing in the Mid-Atlantic. Again. Because not everyone can just eat snow, here’s a chance for all you DC-based simmer sauces to help out some neighbors:

On Thursday, February 11th, Food & Friends needs 20 volunteers to deliver meals, especially those with 4-wheel-drive vehicles. Those without cars would be very much appreciated in the kitchen! (ed: emphasis added), and it would be great if they could come between 8 and 10 a.m.

More Info here.

When you’re done helping, why not feed yourself? Check out Britannia’s insanely impressive map mash-up of DC restaurants that are open through the snowpocalypse.

UPDATEClick on Brit’s DC snowpocalypse restaurant map for constantly updated details on the snow schedule at 70+ DC restaurants.
View 14th & U St Restaurants #snOMG 2.0 in a larger map

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