– Breaking news from the Endless Simmer DC Bureau. I would like to pre-emphasize that this is not a joke. The DC City Council is considering banning jumbo slice pizza:
Ward 1 D.C. Councilman Jim Graham, who represents Adams Morgan, says the pizza parlors selling single slices along 18th Street, some of which are open until 4:30 a.m., are part of the problem when it comes a recent rash of street fights, stabbings, muggings and even a shootout involving two plainclothes police officers…
While most people who spoke with ABC 7 in Adams Morgan thought the proposal was a joke, Councilman Graham said he is very serious. He says he’s already talked to the mayor about the issue and is drafting legislation.
People like Jim Graham are the reason the Libertarian Party exists. Give me pizza or give me death!
– Down at the White House, President Obama doesn’t have to worry about his girls gorging on any dangerous jumbo slice. All Sasha and Mahlia want is some Pinkberry. And since DC has no Pinkberry stores, the White House chef has learned to recreate the recipe, and even lets the girls make up their own flavors. Sweet deal.
Under water grottoes, caverns
Filled with apes
That eat figs.
Stepping on the figs
That the apes
Eat, they crunch.
The apes howl, bare
Their fangs, dance,
Tumble in the
Musty, wet pelts
Glistening in the blue.
Now write us one about bacon, Barack!