Cooking with Coolio

If you thought that Dangerous Minds song was the pinnacle of Coolio’s career, well you were wrong, wrong, wrong, because the flamboyant 90’s rapper “is ’bout to teach yo’ ass how to cook.”Yes, you read that correctly. In a definitively amazing attempt to heighten his post-Gangtas Paradise career to Flava Flavian proportions, Coolio now has an online cooking show, complete with video hos and and a creepy sidekick. Take if from me, learning to love “Cookin with Coolio” is as easy as 1-2-3-4.

In episode one, Coolio doesn’t actually cook anything, but he does prepare a beautiful caprese salad that is allegedly “better than ‘yo momma’s titties.” I don’t know about all that, but you’ve got to admit, it does look pretty delicious.

Other words of wisdom from Chef Coolio:

– This dish will come in handy if your girlfriend is “one of those salad eating bitches.”

– Go light on the Extra Virgin, because “an oily salad ain’t shit.”

– Also, try to finish off your caprese with a healthy dusting of what may or may not be marijuana, and it helps if you end most sentences by inexplicably yelling “Shaka Zulu.”

Rachael Ray he is not. He is, however, one million times more entertaining than Rachael Ray. And – if you send in the best video response to Coolio’s lesson, you can win an autographed bell pepper!