I was wearing a light gray cardigan that reached to mid-thigh. It had two pockets, like most cardigans. These pockets were shallow. I placed my iPhone in one of the pockets. It fell out of my pocket and into the toilet.
I was at the farmers market on Sunday, about to buy an Herbs de Provence cheese for my brother’s birthday (Herbs de Provence is our inside joke), and when I looked in my wallet I realized that my debit card was missing.
I was in one of those beer, wine corner grocery stores and was paying for whole wheat pocketless pitas.
Clerk: That’s $3.99
Me: <Handed the clerk a $5 bill>
Clerk: <Handed me $2.01>
Me:<Hmm, I know I’m not quick at subtracting, but why am I getting 2 dollars back? Did I miss hear him. I’ll just put it in my wallet. Wait, you know what, this isn’t right.>
What’d you say the price was?
Clerk: OH! How much did I give you back? It’s $3.99.
Me: <Gave him a dollar back, smiled and left.>
God Damn I Need that Karma. Fuck. I fucking drowned my very best friend and then I lost my only source of money. I didn’t need that dollar. I need some fucking luck.
And before I get to parsnips (again), if anyone knows how to resurrect a water damaged iPhone or figure out how not to pay $450 for a new one – please let me know! email@example.com
Let’s get back to that whole wheat pocketless pita.Read More›