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by forkitude

Grease, Goats and Girth: The Iowa State Fair

After the two-hour drive to Des Moines, Iowa, my taste buds were ready for the greasy foods on a stick and ridiculous fair concoctions that only the Iowa State Fair could deliver. My goal was to attend the fair on an empty stomach so I could report back to you, dear ESer, about how the delicious fried things on a stick tasted. But I have a confession to make: I WAS NOT HUNGRY. After a sweet and greasy fried twinkie that got me all sticky, my body said “no way are you eating any more of this shit.” No, the wasp drowning in the sugary residue around a funnel cake was not appetizing. And last time I checked, hot beef sundaes would make any normal person want to vomit. About eight bottles of water and 500 pictures later, I was exhausted, smelly, tired and grossed out. I never did find those chicken lips on a stick. I feel somewhat cheated.

It was a twilight zone of meat: pork, steak, chicken, turkey, bacon, sausage, meatballs, 1/2 lb tenderloins, hamburgers. And it seemed that every other person I saw was a walking example of what happens if one eats state fair food as one’s daily diet. The people watching just got better and better and more alarming as we made our way around the fair. (Picture the humans in the movie Wall-E.) I couldn’t snap my camera fast enough. In speaking with one seemingly regular gentleman, he asked me what I was doing with the big camera. I told him that I was photographing state fair food. He asked me, “are you taking pictures of all the freaks?” Yes, yes, I was. I couldn’t keep my shutter shut.

We were also lucky enough to catch a few of the animals left in their pens, including a gigantic pig that looked like a hippopotamus, sheep, goats, turkeys, ducks and cows. The smell, oh the smell, can only be described as hot and pungent. And most likely, very soon, these animals would be on a stick somewhere. Gross.

Pop a few antacids before you browse the selection of photos:

Deviled Eggs are the Devil

So, I will say deviled eggs are one thing I did not expect to be making at the restaurant. I haven’t had a deviled egg since 1990. Perhaps I was wearing shoulder pads when I ate it.

Deviled eggs just appeared on our new menu acting as a focal point for our wedge salad that I must say looks quite sexy for a wedge salad. A bold move that has gone over quite well so far.

How difficult could a hard boiled egg be? Fifteen soft boiled eggs later, I decided that hard boiled eggs are not my friend. And as it turns out, yelling and cursing at the eggs does nothing to aide in the cooking process. In my efforts to make the perfect hard boiled egg, and for fear of overcooking them, I wasted a carton and a half of eggs and felt like a culinary disaster who should not have changed careers.

Perhaps I should have consulted How To Hard Boil an Egg for specific instructions. I should have laid the eggs on their sides the night before to “center” the yolks for the perfect deviled egg. And maybe I should have read them a bedtime story so they would have had a good night’s sleep before the big day. I bet they love Good Night Moon.

What seems like the most simple of culinary tasks can make prep feel like a disaster. Screwing up deviled eggs can also make you feel like everyone in the kitchen is staring at you. But have no fear, I will conquer the deviled egg. I was taught never to put all my money in one basket. Now I know not to put all my uncentered eggs in one pot of boiling water either.

So, spill it ES-ers — what kind of hard-boiling secrets do you all have?

in Eggs 9 comments

by forkitude

Summer + Basil + Lemons + Ice Cream = Heaven

Today is one of those summer days: your clothes stick to your skin and you feel disgusting. It’s 94 degrees outside. With the humidity hovering around 90%, it feels like 106. Ice cream anyone?

Homemade ice cream is the best, there is no debate. Plus, I have been looking for some interesting uses for a pot of overgrown basil; it keeps raining and the basil keeps growing. Don’t have an ice cream maker or the time? Cheat!

– Take your favorite vanilla ice cream (I love vanilla bean); empty the carton into a mixing bowl.

– Chiffonade a generous handful of fresh basil. To chiffonade the basil, stack a few leaves, fold in half, and then roll. Hold the basil down while you finely shred into string-like slices, taking great care to avoid chopping off your finger.

– Add basil to the ice cream, along with the zest and juice of two lemons. Mix the creamy, heavenly goodness. If you have any will power whatsoever, put the ice cream back in the carton and into the freezer for later.

Easy. Refreshing. Impressive.

in Desserts / Recipe 3 comments

by forkitude

Oh My-lanta

With anticipation similar to the release of the Emmy nominees, the Iowa State Fair food list has been released. The red-headed step child of the food world, the Iowa State Fair offers adventurous food connoisseurs everything from the traditional funnel cake to chicken lips on a stick [insert disgusted sound].

Don’t live in Iowa? You are in luck this year (and every other year as well). Hot mess of sweaty people and grease: here I come. From the heart of the corn belt, the birthplace of a third of all American hogs, and most likely the origin of about half of your McDonald’s value meal, I will be filling my stomach and my camera with greasy goodness for your viewing pleasure. How will I stuff a deep fried ho-ho into my mouth in one bite? I have 33 days left to figure it out. Stay tuned. You are in for a real treat from America’s farm country. The slogan is “Non-Stop Fun”, but they must mean “Non-Stop Stomach Ache.”

in Food Travel 3 comments

by forkitude

180 Degrees…and I Don’t Mean Fahrenheit

Editor’s Note: Please welcome our newest contributor, the Omaha, Nebraska-based forkitude. A former high-powered businesswoman, forkitude is now trying her hand at the world of culinary school and restaurant work, and we’re excited to hear all the inside details.

Goodbye business suit; hello chef’s coat. After eight years in finance, a few of which literally seemed like Armageddon, I have made the giant leap, the 180-degree spin into the culinary world. Food has been a passion of mine for quite some time. They say you are doing what you were meant to do when 5 hours have passed and it seemed like 5 minutes. (This is how I burn the croutons, by the way.)

If one thing is for sure as both a financial advisor and as a chef, your head must be in the game and you need some tough skin. I can still picture a veteran, white-haired financial advisor walking the hallway in the midst of the market crash of 2008, his face a white color to match his hair. That was trial by fire. This is my new trial by fire. I will share some of the translations from the business world to the culinary world as well as some observations I have made in my short time on the line. I hope you can laugh with me, and maybe you will be inspired to follow your passion too. Take a hike, pantyhose and heels. I didn’t really ever need you since I am already 6’0” tall. But thanks anyway for helping me rock the business skirt suit. We had some good times.

So, just a few weeks in, here are some of my most valuable lessons about restaurant work so far:

Salt is your best buddy. Sodium chloride has been receiving quite the beat down in the news lately. I completely agree that processed foods should reduce sodium. Perhaps a bag of potato chips should not make your eyes shrivel and make you feel like the Michelin man. However, salt is a chef’s ally. Proper seasoning is vital or the food tastes bland. Who wants to spend $34 for a plate of bland food? I’m guessing not you. A very small amount of our salt intake comes from the proper seasoning of fresh food. So deal with it. Don’t knock chefs for putting salt in your food. And don’t knock financial advisors when they try their best to give you advice without knowing the future. Everyone needs a little seasoning and bit of advice every now and then.

Mise en place is a way of life. Mise en place – French for “put in place”. This means get your shit together BEFORE service. Prep, arrange, organize, slice what needs to be sliced, peel what needs to be peeled. Prepping during service? Epic fail. You will sink like the Titanic. Much like prepping for the huge prospect meeting, get your shit together before the big show or you will look like a complete idiot. Not only do you need all of the necessary ingredients, but your mind must be ready. Get in the right state of mind. If your mind is somewhere else, you will screw up. Trust me. One more thing: your mise en place is not a snack bar. Don’t eat your work, or other people’s for that matter.