Friday Fuck-Up: Rice Puffies

First off, I would like to say that I did not actually make these.  However, I did attempt to eat them, and there is no doubt that they deserve a mention on here.

My dear friend Jenn is an excellent baker.  She makes cupcakes from scratch and they actually taste good.  One day, though, she fell into the trap of cabinet experimentation.  She is moving soon and trying to eat down the pantry, and thus came across an uneaten bag of marshmallows.

Rice Krispies seemed the logical choice.  Her husband was stopping by Yes! Organic Market that afternoon and was assigned the task of picking up the cereal. Well, Yes! may be a great place to go for organic hummus made from hand-coddled chickpeas, but they are not helpful when it comes to name brand products.  Instead of snap, crackle and pop, Pat enlisted the help of some Kashi puffed rice.

All I can say about the resulting atrocity was that I should have stopped as soon as I tried to cut off a piece and nearly bent the knife.  It was fortunate that none of my teeth are filled, because they wouldn’t be any more.  The combination of stickiness and chewiness would have been impressive if it weren’t so horrific.  The worst part is, Pat could have totally warned me when I said, “Ooh, Rice Krispies!”, but I am pretty sure he kept quiet so that he would not be forced to eat any more himself.