Talk Like a Pirate Day

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I’ve definitely ranted about all of those “Day of Days,” as I so eloquently called the phenomenon. A day for soft serve ice cream, a day for mustard, a day for bulk foods

Anyway, I think I may have found the best “day of” yet: Talk Like a Pirate Day. Which of course, is today, September 19th.

I don’t know what may pop into your head when you hear “pirate” – is it Peter Pan, Pittsburgh baseball, puffed rice? Well for me, it’s a quote from the best movie of all time: PCU.

Rand: I scheme and plan for MONTHS and it gets screwed up because YOU can’t control the students! NEVER send a woman to do a man’s job!
President Garcia-Thompson: You cocky, pointy-nosed little Reaganite! If you hadn’t provoked them, we wouldn’t BE in this mess!
Rand: Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to TALL BITCH! What is your fault? THIS IS!
[turns on Droz]
Rand: Hey, poor boy! Go and have all your parties with all your new friends! I can see it now, Andrews. You and all the knee-jerk, bleeding-heart liberals, sipping tea and playing patty-cake. And those useless hippie pot-heads, those commie-pinko leftists. The bunny huggers, the pillow biters…
Droz: Whoa! Whoa! Which ones are the pillow biters again?
Rand: The BUTT-PIRATES! And those beastly man-haters, tell those chicks to shave their pits then call me! And those goddamn whiny crybaby minorities, you can keep them all!
[Rand realizes that Droz had a microphone close by and that the sign lady has been signing everything he said]
Droz: [to the students] Rand McPherson, everybody. And don’t forget the 9:30 show is completely different than the 7:30 show. Enjoy the veal!
[the students then go after Rand]

Rand: I scheme and plan for MONTHS and it gets screwed up because YOU can’t control the students! NEVER send a woman to do a man’s job!

President Garcia-Thompson: You cocky, pointy-nosed little Reaganite! If you hadn’t provoked them, we wouldn’t BE in this mess!

Rand: Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to TALL BITCH! What is your fault? THIS IS!

[turns on Droz]

Rand: Hey, poor boy! Go and have all your parties with all your new friends! I can see it now, Andrews. You and all the knee-jerk, bleeding-heart liberals, sipping tea and playing patty-cake. And those useless hippie pot-heads, those commie-pinko leftists. The bunny huggers, the pillow biters…

Droz: Whoa! Whoa! Which ones are the pillow biters again?

Rand: The BUTT-PIRATES! And those beastly man-haters, tell those chicks to shave their pits then call me! And those goddamn whiny crybaby minorities, you can keep them all!

[Rand realizes that Droz had a microphone close by and that the sign lady has been signing everything he said]

Droz: [to the students] Rand McPherson, everybody. And don’t forget the 9:30 show is completely different than the 7:30 show. Enjoy the veal!

[the students then go after Rand]

To celebrate this pirate madness, Pirate’s Booty is giving away a chest of goodies to one of our readers.

We’ll pick a commenter by random, but just leave a comment in this post about anything, hopefully about pirates, but Eagles football will work too. Oh, or about food.

Here are some pirate-speak definitions to inspire your comments.

Comments are due midnight EST, Monday, September 20th.

Scallywag – Mild insult similar to rapscallion or rouge.

Scurvy Dog – The pirate talking directly to you with mild insult.

Shiver me timbers! – Comparable to “Holy crap!”

Son of a biscuit eater – Insult directed towards someone you don’t like.

Three sheets to the wind – Someone who is very drunk.

And of course

Pirate’s Booty! –  Pirate’s treasure and also a favorite snack that’s’ good anytime!  Pirate’s Booty is a deliciously baked rice and corn puff that’s baked, all-natural trans-fat and gluten-free.