Looking for Love in Gut-Bomb City

(Illustration by Anna Haifisch for Narratively)

(Illustration by Anna Haifisch for Narratively)

Have you ever waited in line for the bathroom behind six drag queens, two unicorns, a seahorse princess and an evil monkey on stilts after downing a bowl of spicy hot gumbo? Have you ever tried to remove a fake fur coat, leotard and tights in a tiny dirty bar stall even when you’re not on mushrooms? Have you ever fantasized about installing a flatscreen TV in your bathroom?

Gwendolyn Knapp has done all of those things. As the editor of Eater New Orleans and a longtime sufferer of IBS, Gwendolyn finds herself in the unique position of living in the fattiest, saltiest, most deep-fried and delicious city in the world…while dealing with a chronic condition that has her constantly battling the outcome of said deliciousness.

Her hilarious essay about living and dating with IBS in NOLA is up on Narratively today:

Looking for Love in Gut-Bomb City.

Weekend Long Read: The Not-So-Simple Life

(Photo: Whitney Light / Narratively)

(Photo: Whitney Light / Narratively)

We know how much you city folk love dreaming of trading in your day jobs for a foodie life on the farm, gathering organic eggs, growing your own wheat, and drinking raw milk straight from the udder. Two youngsters named Dan and Kate actually did it, and it turns out it’s, well—kinda hard. Read their cautionary tale before you curse out your boss and head for the hills.

The Not-so-Simple Life [Narratively]

Holiday Long Read: The Man at the End of the Line


While you’re waiting in that godforsaken, winter-weather-ridden, full-of-grumpy-people calamity known as an airport the day before a national binge festival holiday, just be glad you’re not at the most crowded grocery store in the country.

The Man at the End of the Line is the story of one truly brave dude who stands between a seamless checkout experience and edible Armageddon at an especially frenzied outpost of Trader Joe’s.

Coffee – It's for Serious, Ya'll


Remember when coffee was just some hot brown stuff that helped you get the eff out of bed? Yeah, I hardly can either. Nowaways it”s a carefully crafted, minutely measured, thermal-flowed, pour-overed hot mess of a trendy, delicious beverage. And obviously, we love it. This week on Narratively .

Check out my interview, plus the rest of Narratively”s coffee-centric week here:

The Coffee Chronicler: New York’s foremost java expert explains how we got to $5 single-brews and $75-a-pound beans, and just where the heck we’re going next.

An Ode to Beautiful Brown Sludge: In an age of pour-over pretention and venti half-caf caramel macchiatos, a love letter to the mind-jolting, tongue-burning, time-killing power of a regular old cuppa joe.

Everyman for Himself: Meet two New Yorkers named Sam with a plan to radically alter your coffeehouse experience.

Tales from Baristas: New York’s professional coffee connoisseurs say what they really think about pouring, pricing, and waking up with the roosters to keep you cool, calm and caffeinated.

From the Bowels of a Beast: In the foggy hills of the northern Philippines, committed and courageous harvesters reach into the unlikeliest of places to produce some of the world’s most coveted coffee.

Weekend Eats Read: The Sultan of Olive Oil

Nick Coleman and Nadia Gasperini Rossi in the olive grove at Mulinmaria_EDIT

So you think you’re a pretty high-class foodie ’cause you know your manzanillos from your arbequinas, huh?

You have no idea.

Nick Coleman, New York’s premier olelogist (yes, that’s a thing) has dedicated his life to understanding the intricacies of EVOO, and thinks you should too.

Read: The Sultan of Olive Oil

(Photo: Narratively / Nick Coleman)

The Best Food is Free Food

We’re big fans of Trader Joe’s here at Endless Simmer (aside from that dumb handful of almonds thing — oh, and the questionable work conditions…whatever, their wine is hella cheap!) So here’s a question: how much more would you like TJs if all of the food was free?

Via Narratively, Spoils is the story of three very different New Yorkers who only get their food from one source: the dumpster outside Trader Joe’s in Brooklyn. If you know the right time to go—and aren’t afraid of a little expired meat—it’s a gold mine.

Coal-Fired Pizza and Homemade Bombs

Hey ES-ers! I’m sure you have noticed (um…hopefully some of you have noticed) that your esteemed editor hasn’t been posting here much the past two weeks. I’ve been busy launching Narratively, a new digital publication devoted to original, in-depth non-fiction stories about New York City (and soon—other places, too!)

I’ll be back to ranting about bacon soon, I promise. For now: please check out today’s food-centric Narratively story, which stems from one writer’s obsession with a local pizzeria in Red Hook, Brooklyn, and follows the owner’s insane story, from West Virginia to Rikers.

Read: Who is Roger Fischer? From Berkeley Springs to Brooklyn, a tale of homemade bombs and coal-fired pizza.