mayo -

by gansie

Friday Fuck Up: Dry Pasta Salad

I thought it was a genius move. Actually, I thought it was the second genius move in just one dish.

At first I panicked when I saw only a 1/4 of a box left of the whole wheat squiggle pasta. How could I complete a proper salad for a birthday party with only a 1/4 box of pasta?! But then I spied some orzo. Who said pasta salad must only carry one type of pasta?

I thought, like I just said, that it was a pretty smart move. I compared cooking times and knew exactly when to drop each pasta into the salty cooking water. Bravo, Gansie, I said to myself. Actually, it might have been out loud.

Anyway, that worked out.

I run a mostly no-mayo zone in the kitchen. It’s not a strict rule, just something we don’t buy. (For fear that Bennett will suddenly make 14 peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches in a row. That’s right. I said peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich.)

With the no mayo in my fridge, I reached for yogurt as the base. Oh, you darn nasty yorgurt. I think you fucked me.

Find THAT in the Store

In Florida a few weeks ago 80P and I ate dinner at my aunt and uncle’s place. It was a classic simple dinner of grilled salmon (coated with a spicy rub), grilled summer squash, couscous and a large green salad served with a few options of bottled store-bought dressing.

80 later commented how he would “eat a salad every night if we had some creamy dressings in the fridge.”

I gave him a skeptical look and he immediately mocked my go-to dressing: extra virgin olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper. “That’s not a dressing. It’s oil,” he inserted before I was able to defend my healthy and less expensive alternative to buttermilk ranch.

I wouldn’t let him just go out and buy dressing though. I first had to prove I could make what he wanted, if I wanted to.