Thursday Three: Burns Our Bacons

Is it just me, or have we not had a good ES rant in a bit? Don’t worry, we haven’t simmered down. We promise there is plenty more out there in the big, bad food world that burns our bacons. For now, enjoy three of our favorite BoBs from posts gone by:

Britannia: An Open Letter to the Salt and Pepper Shaker Filler Uppers

BS: Stop the Locawashing!

Gansie: There is No Such Thing as a Giant Cupcake

Oh, and a bonus rant: The king of having his bacon burned — Anthony Bourdain — has something to say about this year’s James Beard Award nominations, or as Tony calls it, the James Beard “Goat rodeo/awards ceremony/chef shakedown.”

What burns your bacon? Send us a food rant and if it rubs us the right way, we just might publish it!

(Photo: Stuart Spivack)

I’m Not Familiar

Grouper 1 (500 x 332)

Sundays at the Eastern Market flea market feature a few cooking related vendors, at least they did six years ago. There was this one vendor, a bearded man in his 60s, with a massive collection of old cookbooks and an even older collection of cast iron pans. I indulged in both.

Let me be clear though, six years ago I didn’t know a fucking thing about food. I didn’t know about cookware or ingredients or experts. I did know, however, that I needed to learn more than what I picked up by casually watching 30 Minute Meals after work.

One very thick cookbook stood out in the bearded man’s collection with its firm tone and streamlined recipes. I flipped through the pages thinking this could be a great, general cook book. The bearded man asked me, as I kept flipping, “Do you have any of his cookbooks at home? Familiar with James Beard?”

“No,” I smiled, “I’m not familiar.”

He encouraged me to buy it. And so I took home the 1981 version of The New James Beard and read it like a novel, well, a novel’s sequel. That fucker James Beard is clever.

In his recipe for “Chicken Salad with Fresh Coriander” (side note: he calls cilantro “Chinese parsley”), Beard  instructs: “Roast the chicken according to directions in Theory & Practice (page 83)” and then proceeds with the duration of the recipe.

I’m not sure if he assumes everyone already owns his previous book or he wanted to boost his sales, or both, but I went back to Eastern Market. The bearded vendor stocked it. I bought it. Both Beards won.

I take out New everyone once in a while when I’m looking to cook something basic, like rice. Or want some inspiration for a new way to cook a vegetable. Beard didn’t disappoint as I made the best fucking cucumbers of all time.

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Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Like the Oscars, Only Fatter


The latest and greatest news about celebrity chefs, served up buffet style.

– The Beards were announced.  Big winner is Top Chef’s Tom Colicchio.  Lots of happiness in the TVFF household when the chef at Philly’s Osteria won for Mid-Atlantic.

– And the full run-down of Beard media award winners.  I’m sure ours is coming next year.

After the jump…we take a trip down to the mouth of The Mighty Mississip and we ponder if it’s actually “news” that Duff Goldman is in the paper for baking a cake.

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Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Admit It, Jamie, You Think We’re All Fat Rubes


The latest and greatest news about celebrity chefs, served up buffet style.

– The first episode of Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution featured his efforts to help the good people of West Virginia overcome their unhealthy eating habits.  While commendable, the best part is clearly the uncomfortable confrontation between Jamie and the lunch ladies.

– Gordo’s lesson at the L.A. Marathon:  the ability to berate trainees and turn out a beautiful sole meunière is no match for a severe muscle cramp.

After the jump…the unfortunately byproduct of having a shitty rocker as a husband, cements its reputation as “sorely under-appreciated,” and Foursquare gets personal.

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