cucumbers -

by Katt Kasper

‘Lite’ At the End of the Tunnel

I’m faced with a dilemma; I live in a land of unbelievable bounty and choice, where an unlimited supply of fresh, affordable and tantalizing food options are available to me 24 hours a day, every day. My car has been transformed into an International Travel Pod, where once exotic and labor-intensive meals and delicacies are now just an arms-length away from my driver’s side window. I merely have to voice my meal mandate out loud in front of a brightly colored menu board full of photographic representations of my deepest food desires. Why, I can even ‘supersize’ my choices, all while sitting comfortably behind the wheel listening to the harmonic melodies of my own choosing.

Up ahead a smiling face awaits at an open window delicately holding my expertly prepared and lovingly wrapped meal, which they conveniently stowed in a festive paper bag. After a quick monetary exchange I’m handed my culinary travel clutche and a tall, cool waxed paper vat of sweet, sweet liquid. “Adios” I reply to my Spanish compadre-in-white. And even before I can merge into traffic my fingers are seeking out one of those golden fried sticks of masterly salted carbohydrates and starch.

Ah, yes. What’s a fat bastard to do?

Man, I am pathetic! I don’t remember what happened to me and my relationship with food but at some point I totally bought in to the slogans and catch phrases that tell me I deserved it, I’m worth it and that it tastes soooo good! A 1220-calorie Deluxe Breakfast? “I’m loving it!” A 1090-calorie Mesquite Chicken sub? “Mmmm…toasty!” A 590-calorie pack of French fries? “It’s Way Better Than Fast Food!”

I’m to the point now where I call my bib overalls my ‘skinny jeans.’

So it’s back to the lighter fare in this column. I know that it’s not what you eat but how much you eat, however that doesn’t help when I’m making a meal and it turns out so good that before I know it I’m eating it right out of the serving dish and I look up to see my dinner guests sitting around the table staring at me in disbelief. (My friends call it ‘Dinner and a Show!’)

So here it is ESers; a tasty low-cal meal that’s healthy and good for you. Just remember, this serves 6. That doesn’t mean dinner in 6 acts, it means dinner for 6 people or 6 different meals. Just do as I say and not as I do and you’ll be squeezing back into your XXLs in no time! Enjoy.

Katt’s “Now That’s Using Your Noodle” Udon bowl

by Katt Kasper

Salad, Please…Hold the Lettuce

As this is my first post of 2013 I’ve brought all of you a special gift: 15 more pounds of me! This is in addition to the extra 6 pounds that I gained LAST year during the holidays. I don’t know what comes over me but during the last 6 weeks of the year I go on an eating, drinking and cooking bender that always results in a resolution of diet and exercise. Except that last year I never dropped the 6 new pounds which means that I am now 21 pounds heavier than I was in 2011.

But fear not ESers, this isn’t going to turn into a diet column anytime soon. I’m simply going to apply the M word to my daily intake and consume food in realistic proportions. From now on, whenever I make a pie I will divide it into equal pieces and down a SINGLE slice instead of just grabbing a fork and eating until the pan is empty. The same goes for pasta. A one-pound bag used to be my normal portion but from now on I will make sure that I get at least 4 servings out of each package. Preferably at 4 different meals!

I will even DRINK in moderation. I’ve cut my alcohol consumption down to 3 days a week instead of 3 times a day. No more shot-and-a-beer breakfasts during the week. From now on it’ll be…uh…whatever everyone else normally has for breakfast! I probably won’t even need the aspirins anymore. I could actually start taking real vitamins instead of telling everyone that my aspirins are vitamins.

OK, wait a minute here. Let’s start with baby steps. I’m going to need food that tastes good and fills me up so that I can stop eating like a termite with a tapeworm. Some healthy side dishes that will help me moderate my serving portions. Something fresh and clean like an oriental cucumber salad, but with more than just cucumbers. Something – like this:

Katt’s Cucumber, Onion and Bell Pepper Salad

by Twin Tastes

Eyes Before Taste Buds: Panzanella Salad

Sure, it’s great when food tastes good, but any food blogger will tell you that what’s really important is presentation. Colorful, vibrant food is instantly appealing. Looking at a wall of penny candy or a heaping bowl of fruit, you are mesmerized by the abundance of color. If it’s appealing to the eye, it must be appealing to your taste buds, right? We felt this way when we first created this summery, visually enticing side dish. Panzanella salad, a classic Tuscan summer dish, celebrates fresh garden produce.

Classic panzanella incorporates stale, unsalted Tuscan bread. Since we do not keep stale bread on hand (who doesn’t finish bread before it goes stale?) we decided to char a fresh French baguette. The toasted baguette inside the dish absorbs the vinaigrette while maintaining its crunch alongside the fresh cubed vegetables. The married flavors are a kaleidoscope of color and texture.

Panzanella Salad

in Recipe / Veggie 2 comments

by gansie

Attack of the Meme: Top Hats on Things

We’re quite proper, if you couldn’t tell, with our lists of drunk college foods, where to get shitfaced in Myrtle Beach and dirty-sounding food terms. Oh? No? Well, whatever.

We’ll just put a top hat on it.

(Photos: Top Hats on Things)

in Trends 1 comments

by BS

America’s Best New Sandwiches, Part 2

Last month ES brought you our list of America’s top 10 new sandwiches. But blogga always said that reader knows best.

Many of you commented on our original story to tell us which of your favorite innovative sandwich should have been included. We chose the ten tastiest suggestions and now present an encore list: America’s Top 10 New Sandwiches, as selected by Endless Simmer readers.

10. Steak Poutine Pita — U Needa Pita — St. Catharine’s, Ontario

What could be better than poutine, Montreal’s signature street food? How about throwing that poutine — cheese curds, fries and gravy included — on a pita, so you can actually eat it while walking down the street? Add some steak and you’ve got yourself one helluva sandwich. And yes, for the sake of U Needa Pita, we’re including Canada as part of America this one time only.

9. Westside Monte Cristo — Melt Bar and Grilled — Cleveland

We’ve said it once and we’ll say it again: there’s no food so good that it can’t be made better by a trip to the deep fryer. Kudos to Melt for being brave enough to test this theory out on the monte cristo breakfast sandwich — honey ham, smoked turkey, Swiss and American cheese — all battered in beer and deep fried.

8. Chacarero — La Sombra — Austin

We’re officially placing money on Chile’s signature sandwich — the chacarero — to become the next bahn mi, and La Sombra‘s version is the most sumptuous one we’ve seen yet. Shiner Bock marinated sliced hangar steak topped with green beans, avocado, tomatoes, pickled cucumbers and spicy mayo, all on a thin, toasty bolillo.

in Breakfast / Cheese / Eggs / Fowl / Lists / Red Meat / Sandwich / Trends 15 comments

by BS

Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

– Many of you have opinions on the ”can you cook cucumbers?” debate. Maids:

My roommate says she used to cook burritos in her microwave in college using tortillas, rolled with cheese and cucumbers inside. Sounded disgusting to me, but she has a palate I respect so maybe cooked cukes aren’t so bad?

I don’t know about these cuke burritos, but I’m definitely going to start ranking my friends by how much I respect their palates.

– JoeHoya and the Mrs. coin an amazing term for the frustration found in fava beans:

We LOVE fava beans and make it a point to buy them in bulk during their all-too-brief season at the farmers’ market. But the prep is definitely a pain in the ass. Elizabeth refers to favas as the Beans of Diminishing Returns because you buy them by weight and then promptly through out half of what you paid for in the form of the outer and inner pods.

– Finally, anyone who can get worked up about indefinite articles in convenience store advertising is welcome at ES. BigOldCar:

The thing that bothers me most about the Hoagieman commercials is that the song ends with:

“At the Hoa…gie…Fest!
At the Wawa!
The Hoa…Gie…Fest!
At the Wawa!”

Why “THE” Wawa? Why not “your,” or some other gap-filler? But the definite article doesn’t belong here, and it bugs the shit out of me!

I don’t get the Sgt. Pepper theme, but it’s so interesting-looking that I’ve come to accept it.

I cannot, however, get past that improper article.

(Photo: inSinU8)

in Veggie 2 comments

by gansie

I’m Not Familiar

Sundays at the Eastern Market flea market feature a few cooking related vendors, at least they did six years ago. There was this one vendor, a bearded man in his 60s, with a massive collection of old cookbooks and an even older collection of cast iron pans. I indulged in both.

Let me be clear though, six years ago I didn’t know a fucking thing about food. I didn’t know about cookware or ingredients or experts. I did know, however, that I needed to learn more than what I picked up by casually watching 30 Minute Meals after work.

One very thick cookbook stood out in the bearded man’s collection with its firm tone and streamlined recipes. I flipped through the pages thinking this could be a great, general cook book. The bearded man asked me, as I kept flipping, “Do you have any of his cookbooks at home? Familiar with James Beard?”

“No,” I smiled, “I’m not familiar.”

He encouraged me to buy it. And so I took home the 1981 version of The New James Beard and read it like a novel, well, a novel’s sequel. That fucker James Beard is clever.

In his recipe for “Chicken Salad with Fresh Coriander” (side note: he calls cilantro “Chinese parsley”), Beard instructs: “Roast the chicken according to directions in Theory & Practice (page 83)” and then proceeds with the duration of the recipe.

I’m not sure if he assumes everyone already owns his previous book or he wanted to boost his sales, or both, but I went back to Eastern Market. The bearded vendor stocked it. I bought it. Both Beards won.

I take out New everyone once in a while when I’m looking to cook something basic, like rice. Or want some inspiration for a new way to cook a vegetable. Beard didn’t disappoint as I made the best fucking cucumbers of all time.

in Fish / Recipe / Veggie 9 comments