Panic. The horror, the horror. For weeks now, I’ve searched various Target stores for the “limited edition” Candy Corn Oreos, where they are supposedly “exclusively available.” Well, apparently “limited edition” means first week of October, because I’ve found none. Zero. And I’m pretty pissed about it. Plus, I’m a little confused about what Nabisco considers “seasonal.”
I can’t just keep this disappointment to myself, so I’ve decided to harness this energy and write an open letter to Nabisco:
Dear Nabisco,
First and foremost, let me say, Happy Halloween! I know how much you appreciate all of the holidays. And I admire your effort in honoring almost all of them. The green and red Oreo filling, pastel colored Oreos for Easter—it’s great. And you’ve been thinking out of the box lately—kudos. I’ve seen Neapolitan Oreos, Lemon Oreos, and even Candy Corn Oreos.
For a “limited time,” we (America) were permitted to explore the hidden treasure of a candy corn Oreo. Way-to-go on this. I am sending you a virtual gold star, and your report card will reflect it with an “O for Outstanding” and a smiley face inside of it. Those who were able to try these enjoyed the adventure.
Those who did not get to enjoy it are still looking for the damn candy corn Oreos. I thought this was a “limited time” thing as in, for the Halloween season. Perhaps you’re confused about what “seasonal” means. The sources I’ve checked define seasonal as “dependent on season or determined by a certain time of the year.” Not sure you knew this, but Halloween is on October 31st every year. It’s like Christmas—the date is constant. It’s not one of those tricky things that requires you to calculate the date.
You see, this is why I found it odd over two weeks ago (that would be mid-October) not to find the candy-corn Oreos. I found the other “seasonal” treats like candy corn, caramel apple lollipops, tons and tons of Halloween themed candy, even those stupid Halloween pretzels. Of course, these are all offered for a limited time. But apparently not as limited as your Candy Corn Oreos. However, I was able to find Neapolitan Oreos (which you would think would be offered in the summer?)
I had so many ideas for these Oreos. The possibilities were really endless. For instance, Candy Corn Oreo balls, Candy Corn Oreo cupcakes, Candy Corn Oreos covered in white chocolate, and even Candy Corn Oreo cheesecake. Instead, what did I get? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Rather than doing that, I grabbed some seasonal beers and enjoyed some Oktoberfest brews. Do your f’ing homework.
kthnxbye.
For anyone that did find these things and made something awesome—let us know! We’re very intrigued…