I Do It For the Love

After spending countless hours here in the ES test kitchen, doing what I love (which is preparing and reviewing different recipes and cooking techniques),  I’ve just made a shocking realization: I’m an amateur chef! I’m no longer just a dedicated Full-Time Foodie, but an honest-to-goodness, not-paid-for-his-hard-work-and-yes-I-made-that-from-scratch-but-no-I-didn’t-go-to-culinary-school—CHEF!

Traditionally, a chef is defined as a highly-skilled professional who cooks for a living, and who is proficient in all aspects of food preparation. Except for that ‘highly-skilled professional who cooks for a living’ part – THATS ME! I AM proficient in all aspects of food preparation—just like I’m proficient at all aspects of alcohol drinking! Proficient means ‘able,’ ‘competent’ or ‘skilled’ and I got some skillz, yo! Not only could I be considered an amateur chef, but also (get out your French dictionaries), an amateur sous-chef, a chef de cuisine, a chef de partie, a saucier and a grillardin! That’s right bitches, the French give me mad props!

A professional is a person who is paid to undertake a specialized set of tasks and to complete them for a fee. And y’know, not to brag or anything, but I have worked as a professional cook. You heard me—I was PAID for my mad skillz, and I was still in high school! I’ve held jobs as a professional fry cook (McDonalds), a professional grill cook (Burger King) as well as a professional pizza cook (Shakey’s) and a professional culinary chauffer (Domino’s), and I got the tax returns to prove it. I may not be getting paid to cook now but I attribute that more to my arrest record than my experience.

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