At a Patron-fueled Halloween bash in downtown Austin this weekend, I stumbled upon my favorite costume of Halloween 2012. And yes, of course it is hilarious and food-themed. May I present:
The Taco Bell Doritos Loco! A beautiful homemade creation, comprised mostly of artfully arranged tissue paper. The sombrero is an elegant touch.
Well, in regards to ridiculous overloads of novelty foods, it’s all downhill from here—state fair season is over for the year. We’ll have to wait for months before a stream of deep-fried, chocolate-covered, bacon-wrapped indulgences can once again make their appearance in our diets. In the meantime, let’s take a look at some of the most shocking new creations that made their debut onto the state fair food scene in 2012. Steel your arteries…
You’d think that a normal beef rib would contain enough animal flesh, but you would be wrong, and the California State Fair is here to prove it. They’ve jammed a giant 24-oz. steak ONTO a 17-inch beef rib bone. Why?! Because they can. (Photo: Cavegrrl.com)
We saw deep fried Kool-Aid and deep fried salsa at last year’s state fairs, so we should have known that cotton candy couldn’t be that far off. Pretty crazy, because it seems like the spun sugar would melt in the deep fryer. Life is full of mysteries. Not enough sweets for you? Don’t worry, this treat is served by a frozen yogurt purveyor, so feel free to use these giant balls of fried sugar as a topping on your froyo. (Photo: Cassie’s Frozen Yogurt)
We all know that french fries are a great base for all kinds of toppings, and the Eastern Idaho State Fair really took that idea and ran with it. The Outlaw Stacker is a huge pile of fries smothered in gravy, bacon, and a fried egg. The name rings true—health and nutrition are truly outlawed in this dish. And we’re okay with that. (Photo: Eastern Idaho State Fair)
Read More›
Oh those crazy college kids! What will they do next? Being that I’m a fan of most things alcohol related, I recently came across an article about a college student that was partaking in a little nontraditional wine tasting. That is, he decided that chugging it would take too much time to create a buzz, so he somehow reasoned that it would be better to go in through the out door. This way of introducing alcohol into the bloodstream is faster and consequently more dangerous than sipping it the old fashioned way. He was in fact, brought into the hospital with a 0.40 blood alcohol limit, which is lethal in most cases.
There have been times in the past where I’ve wanted to get a little ‘loose,’ and I’ve partaken in the time-honored method of consuming shots of alcohol in various formats: Jell-o shots, body shots, flaming shots…but never have I thought of applying this technique through my rectum. Call me old fashioned, but I rather like the taste of most liquors, so it seems that bypassing the tongue while introducing it into the bloodstream is cheating me out of a great deal of pleasure.
I’m hoping that this is an isolated incident and that the trend doesn’t catch on, particularly with wine. Wine tastings could become very messy, and the rating categories would change dramatically. ‘Back taste’ would take on a whole other meaning and the serving temperature would have to be a major consideration. Some champagnes and sparkling wine would take your breath away upon introduction and certainly wouldn’t appeal to the ticklish.
I know I’m showing my age here, but shot-gunning a beer or pouring it through a funnel seemed a pretty quick way of creating a buzz when I was in college. Maybe I’m lame but getting drunk by pouring junk-in-your-trunk seems a bit extreme. Food and drink should be pleasurable, relaxed experiences shared amongst family and friends. I hate to hurry through a great steak or rush a lightly iced scotch, so the appeal of getting super blitzed in less time makes as much sense as wanting to get full after one bite.
A word of caution to all my back-door buzz seekers; the main technique used to create a great wine is the same one used to create a great time, and that is control.
Lose it, and it could bite you in the ass.
Okay, it’s October, can we plllllease talk about the Candy Corn Oreos? I know the Internet already went (and is still going) bonkers over this questionable product when it was released a few weeks ago, but I’m sorry, that was in mid-September and I WAS NOT READY. Now that we’re officially in Halloween territory, I’ve decided it’s Candy Corn Oreos’ time to shine.
Here are some facts about this magical monstrosity of the cookie world:
Read More›
We’ve talked sous vide many times here on Endless Simmer. Now that the trend has died down a bit, KK asks, is it even worth it?
Sous vide. It’s a French term meaning, “I’ve got way too much time on my hands and I don’t own a microwave.” This is a cooking process in which you put food into a plastic bag, remove as much air as you can, and then sloooooow cook it in a water bath at around 55 degrees for 72 hours. That’s more than a couple of days. Why would you do this? If you were on your meds you wouldn’t. Can you imagine everything being cooked this way? You could get your dry cleaning back in less time. I mean, I could order food from New York and have it FedEx’d to me before my sous vide steak is half done.
When I was growing up, I thought that my mother invented fast food. The slowest thing that she cooked in our house was a TV dinner. That took 20 minutes. I was a teenager before I realized that the center of your Salisbury steak wasn’t supposed to be frozen. 72 hours to properly bathe my entrée? I’ve had goldfish that didn’t last that long in water. “Boil in the bag? Oh no, no, no. What’s the rush? Why don’t you sit back and relax while I sous vide us some pasta. Case of wine while we wait?”
The great Julia Child would have a hard time selling THIS French cooking method to American housewives. And really, as a restaurateur, how do you make any money at this? You certainly couldn’t advertise how fresh your food is. Even Michael Phelps wouldn’t last 72 hours in the water. Why would I want my food to? What’s the point? Flavor? After waiting 72 hours for a meal I would eat my shoes.
And in terms of technique, who couldn’t learn to master this? “Gee, I just couldn’t get the hang of sealing the bag. I don’t know how Keller does it!” Just imagine how long it would take to tape ‘Iron Chef Sous Vide.’ You could become a doctor in less time.
I absolutely love many classic French cooking techniques, and I’ll admit, I’m intimidated by some. Sous vide doesn’t make either list. I’m in no hurry to cook slower. And on the opposite end of the spectrum, I won’t be dragging home any canisters of liquid nitrogen either. If I want the word ‘extreme’ used to describe anything about my meal it had better be the flavor and not the cooking method.
Extremely flavorful? Qui. Extremely slow? Absolument pas!
These days, you don’t have to look far to find people serving their French fries with craziness like duck fat or rosemary salt or balsamic ketchup. Yes, the most plebeian of foods has gone gourmet. And not surprisingly, Portland wins this contest.
Foster Burger in SE Portland serves their perfectly-sized, crispy “black and white fries” with: died garlic, truffle oil, parmesan, and, for dipping..black squid ink aioli. Yes, these spuds are dipped in seafood spray. Brilliant. Ridiculous. Also, tasty.
Back in 2008, I wrote a trend piece about food trucks going gourmet. Wonder if that ever caught on? J/K.
I know we have all heard enough about food trucks—but here’s one more aspect I’m loving. When I was out in Portland, I paid for my squid sandwiches and blue cheese breakfasts without even taking out my wallet. I also recently helped new tech publication iQ produce this series on food trucks that are going more high-tech than ever. Check out the link or watch the vids below.
Part 2 and 3 after the j.
Read More›