Endless Road Trip Germany: Capri-Sonne, Anyone?

Not soon after I made a joke about not being able to funnel vodka into a Capri Sun, I found myself in Cologne, Germany at BackWerk (which I was disappointed to find out  means “bake and take”)  looking at all the drink options to accompany my sandwich. I spotted a Capri-Sonne with the words “cola mix” and a photo of a a sea of soda with a lemon raft. LEMON SODA CAPRI SUN? Sign me the fuck up.

As I sat on our American flag blanket and consumed what I thought would be a delicious treat, I realized that, unfortunately, the words I neglected were “koffeinfrei” and “ohne kohlensäure.” Caffeine free. Without carbonation. We can probably all agree that Germans are strange, but why why WHY would anyone want to drink COMPLETELY flat lemony soda, out of a foil packet, that won’t even increase alertness? This wouldn’t fly in America (how many times have you heard someone at a restaurant/bar complain about the level of carbonation in their drink?) but as I thought about it more, I realized the Germans are on to something.

Cola Mix Capri Sonne and Rum? A portable, low sugar cocktail with no artificial flavors, artificial sweeteners or preservatives that won’t fill you up or keep you up at night but WILL get you drunk? Like I needed another way to consume alcohol in Germany.