Friday Fuck Up: Dry Pasta Salad
I thought it was a genius move. Actually, I thought it was the second genius move in just one dish.
At first I panicked when I saw only a 1/4 of a box left of the whole wheat squiggle pasta. How could I complete a proper salad for a birthday party with only a 1/4 box of pasta?! But then I spied some orzo. Who said pasta salad must only carry one type of pasta?
I thought, like I just said, that it was a pretty smart move. I compared cooking times and knew exactly when to drop each pasta into the salty cooking water. Bravo, Gansie, I said to myself. Actually, it might have been out loud.
Anyway, that worked out.
I run a mostly no-mayo zone in the kitchen. It’s not a strict rule, just something we don’t buy. (For fear that Bennett will suddenly make 14 peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches in a row. That’s right. I said peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich.)
With the no mayo in my fridge, I reached for yogurt as the base. Oh, you darn nasty yorgurt. I think you fucked me.
I blended the yogurt with garlic scapes and oil, then stirred in toasted cumin and sesame seeds (OH! And I considered that my third genius move, although I think I added too many in), sliced radish and maybe like one or two other things. Sounds pretty awesome, right?!
Yea, well, it was dry as hell. I thought I could combat that by dressing the salad when I got to the party. But that didn’t help. It dried in just minutes under the strong, strong sun. Maybe I didn’t use enough oil? Enough yogurt? Or was yogurt the wrong move? Mother eff. I don’t know. I just know that it was not genius.
Do I need to bring back mayo into my life?
Maybe you can add it back but make it from scratch when you need it. I have heard it is really easy to make in your food processor.
I love mayo but my pasta salads usually don’t have any. I rock oils, vinegars, and juice from fruit and veg to keep everything lubed up. Fuckups can still have moments of brilliance you know.
I don’t bother with mayo in pasta salad. A good bottled Italian, Ceasar or any oil based salad dressing makes the best pasta salad and it’s not too heavy.
mashed avocado works too but you have to eat it QUICK.