Come Hither, Sweet Vosges Truffle

I am kind of a chocolate freak.
I think a truffle a day keeps the doctor away.
Because truffles are more delicious than apples.
Life is not like a bowl of apples, it is like a box of chocolates.
You really never quite know what you’re going to get.

As is the case from exotic chocolate maker Vosges, which produces things like bacon chocolate, oyster infused cream truffles, and enchanted mushroom chocolate bars.

The Vosges Luxe Sweet Coquette Truffle Collection is more of an experience than a box of chocolates. My sampling included instructions on how to eat them:

be present, see, touch, smell, snap, taste, linger and ponder your next move.

Okay, I like it. I rarely follow instructions, but these seemed to be well thought out and cover most of the senses. In fact, I’m gonna have to tell you about each one of these babies:

Kumamoto Truffle: kumamoto oysters, champagne, 36% cocoa butter white chocolate, pearl dust.

Oysters and chocolate? Don’t ask questions, just do it. Beyond the creamy, dreamy white chocolate goodness, the taste inspired visions of the sea. Not the sea as in a ferry to Ellis Island, but the sea as in that Cialis commercial where the couple is relaxing in clawfoot bath tubs overlooking the ocean. There is a hint of oyster cream that will probably make your lady rip her clothes off.

Edith Truffle: Piper Heidsieck Brut Rose Champagne, 65% cacao dark chocolate rolled in rose buds.

I would take a dozen of these little gems over a dozen roses every any day of the week. It was like Vosges has somehow figured out how to put a box of chocolates and a bouquet of roses in a little chocolate treasure. This makes me giddy. I have to admit that at one point I dropped the rest of the truffle because I forgot that I was holding it. Embarrassing? Maybe.

Bronte Truffle: Sicilian pistachios, rose water, 45% deep milk chocolate.

Pistachios are an aphrodisiac. Legend has it that lovers who meet under a pistachio tree at night and hear the sounds of the nuts popping open (which means they are ripe) will have good luck. Save yourself a trip to a pistachio orchard, and share one of these truffles with your lover. Blindfolded.

Mamajuana Truffle: mamajuana, 65% dark chocolate, chamomile.

Mamajuana is a Dominican Republic drink that is made from rum, red wine, honey, bark, twigs, and leaves. Forget the viagra, this stuff is supposed to do the trick. Delicious and effective.

This is true foreplay for culinary inclined lovers.You can and should bust out the lingerie, but it’s probably not going to stay on very long. Just saying.