Never Said About Restaurant Websites

horrible restaurant website

One of the great unanswered questions of the food world is: why does every restaurant website have to be such a goddamn shitshow? I’ve already complained about the ubiquity of inane, unnecessary music on restaurant websites, not to mention horrible flash intros and just all-around poor usability. Why is it that every single restaurant owner thinks a high-concept, interactive, 17-page site is better than the simple layout of menu/address/phone number/reservation system?

Finally someone has made it their mission to take down restaurant websites. The exceedingly clever Never said about restaurant websites tumblelog is a database of complimentary things that people would never, ever, say about the inexplicably horrible world that is restaurant websites. A few gems:

“Who needs the phone number of a restaurant when you could be enjoying stock photos of food?”
-Zero people in the history of time

“My favorite thing about this restaurant is actually its nearly abandoned Twitter feed with links to irrelevant news articles. I really appreciate that level of effort.”

-Zero people

“I enjoy clicking on separate menu links to view the Appetizers, Salads, Meat Entrees, Fish Entrees, Pastas, and Desserts.”
“It was like the restaurant was reading my goddamned mind when the website cleared up whether or not it was open for brunch on labor day last year.”
-Not a soul
“Why would anyone want to skip this intro? I think I’ll watch it again.”
-Zero people

Agh! The funny thing is that these kinds of websites are not the exception but the rule. Seriously, WHAT IS THE DEAL, PEOPLE?!

Read more and add your own at Never said about restaurant websites.

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  • 80 Proof January 4, 2011  

    I like this one:

    “I hope the phone number and address are actually images so I can’t copy and paste them!”

    Good God I hate that!! Just let me right click and search google for your address.

  • erica January 4, 2011  

    i like when there’s no menu. seriously, if you’re a restaurant, why else do you think i’m going to look you up online?

  • Natalie Sztern January 4, 2011  

    I like the restaurant websites that don’t actually have the menu or have a ‘sample’ menu…and without prices so you have no idea what the cost of said restaurant could be.

    I have also seen websites where you cannot skip the intro and where there is no way to close the music…..ARGGGGHHH

  • ML January 4, 2011  

    I hate restaurants without the hours. I WANT YOUR GOD DAMN HOURS THAT IS PROBABLY WHY IM ON HERE ANYWAY.

    Also, all Starr restaurant websites. WTF are they thinking?

  • Liza January 5, 2011  

    I hate when you have to download a PDF to see the menu (and especially when you have to download separate PDFs for drinks, appetizers, entrees, and desserts separately).

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