Friday Fuck Up: Terrine Tragedy

seafood terrines

I was skeptical. But I thought, yeah, this would be cool. Mini terrines. First layer, lobster. Second layer, crab. Third layer, poached salmon. Fourth layer, roasted red peppers…why? Why the hell not? The gelatin to hold it all together was made with the salmon poaching liquid of vegetable stock and white wine. I made sure the thing was properly seasoned and threw in some herbs. I was thinking #1, would this hold together? And #2 would this actually taste good?

#1: Yes, it did hold together. It held together quite nicely. It held together like a can of cat food that slides right out exposing the layer of nasty gelatin on top of the stinky meat mold. I couldn’t get that wet cat food sucking noise out of my head while standing there staring at my terrine fuck up. Meow.

#2: No. Oh, no, no. It did not taste good. Chef was lucky enough to have the first taste. And when I picked up my fork to try a bit, he encouraged me to take a smaller bite. Oh boy, that’s when you know you’ve fucked up. I’m not really sure what went wrong. It was like seafood with seafood flavored jelly. Perhaps I should have brought it home to the cat. I’m sure she would have torn the hell out of this gelatinous seafood carnage. So, I accidentally made cat food. No big deal.

the destruction after tasting

“How did the terrine turn out?” asked a coworker. “Um, it just…it just isn’t good. And it accidentally fell in the trash.” Oops. But the terrine has not heard the last from me. In other words, please help ESers! How do I redeem myself?!

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One comment

  • gansie December 3, 2010  

    i think more food writers should incorporate the word “meow” into posts. bravo.

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