Throw Me a Hot Dog, Ostrich Man


Several weeks ago I announced that the Reading Phillies minor league baseball team was holding Gluttony Night II. I was ecstatic. Tons of food. Pizza, ice cream, funnel cake galore. And if you’re at all familiar with minor league baseball, you won’t be surprised to hear that the Gluttony Night festivities were only a fraction of the very bizarre antics going down at the game.

First of all, I unfortunately missed the chance to drunk heckle a reality star and his children.  Jon Gosselin plus eight minus Kate threw out the first pitch the night before Gluttony Night II. I should have sent a memo about all-you-can-eat french fries. But the Gosselins missed out, because Gluttony Night was an epic celebration of all things edible. Everything at this ballpark was about food. Everything.

  • Were there two private tent buffets in addition to Gluttony Night II? Yes.
  • Was there a “ROAST BEEF!” chant every time Kevin Mahar was up to bat because he was the Arby’s “RBI guy”? Yes
  • Was there a kid’s concession stand game, where small children representing pizza, a hot dog, and french fries raced around the field? Yes (and so wrong)
  • Was there a man riding an ostrich around the field, throwing hot dogs to the crowd, while a “hot dog for you!” song was playing? Yes, yes, yes.

The Crazy Hot Dog Vendor disturbed me the most, and after his little “performance” I promptly started pounding beers. At the bar we saw several young guys dressed up like pizza toppings. W. T. F.

All this craziness leads us to ask…We’ve already talked about the best major league baseball foods, but what about the minors? What are the tastiest, craziest, or straight up most disturbing foods you’ve seen served at minor league ballparks?

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