Do You Cook for You or Your Girl?


Ever since Maids asked the women of ES whether they’d rather eat like hungry girls or skinny bitches, I’ve wanted to pose a similar question to the XY side of the food blogosphere.

As a pretty passionate food fan, it’s always bugged me when guys subscribe to the Super Bowl commercial school of thought when it comes to cooking — i.e., we’d hardly be able to order a pizza without the help of a wife or girlfriend. Why do so many guys insist they are literally incapable of cooking? (Except of course, for grilling, which is caveman-like enough to get a pass.) Is it really possible that we males have ruled the world for millennia, but can’t operate a broiler on our own accord?

So I’m not sure whether to love or hate the new trend of food blogs I’ve been seeing — sites like the short-lived Cook for Your Girl and the newish Cook to Bang, which embrace the idea of men getting into the kitchen, but only as a means to get laid. Apparently, being a gourmet chef is now an acceptably manly thing for guys to do, but only if you’re thinking about getting in her pants while making your fancy-pants food.

Sure, they’re funny. Obviously I can appreciate the idea behind Bust-a-nut squash soup. Not to mention Get your chick under a brick chicken. And I’m not above a little chocolate seduction myself every now and then. But are we dudes really so ashamed of enjoying cooking that we have to hide behind this I’m-only-doing-it-for-the-poontang facade?  Is there something so gay about a couple of bros bonding over a bacon explosion? Or a pine nut crusted tomato tart, for that matter?

So I’m wondering: how many of you guys only cook for its leg-spreading potential? Or do you enjoy cooking on its own merits? Let’s here from the fellas…

[poll id=”37″]

*Oh and before I get yelled at, I apologize in advance for the heterocentric nature of this post, but I felt the topic demanded it. ES would be more than happy to post a third in the series if anyone feels left out.

(Photo: Superstock)

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  • C. Christy Concrete June 18, 2009  

    There’s a term that was coined to describe guys who cook in order to get a piece of ass: “gastrosexual.”

  • JoeHoya June 18, 2009  

    I don’t think ‘gastrosexual’ was originally meant to describe guys who use their cooking to get women…

    It’s actually meant to describe a lifestyle, like ‘metrosexual’ (the inspiration for the term).

    Eleanor Glover wrote about the concept almost a year ago in the Daily Mail, after the release of a report on the topic commissioned by food company PurAsia.

    It’s a bit of a dry read, but it attributes competition, leisure and praise as major motivating factors for gastrosexuals – and it even indicates that some women fit the profile, as well.

    That being said, I had an interesting conversation on Sunday with Teddy Folkman about BrainFood, the inner-city culinary education program he works with. According to Teddy, the guys who participate in the program have told him that cooking is one of the few careers that a guy from their neighborhoods can pursue and still maintain his reputation – along with tattoo artists and mechanics.

  • Yvo June 18, 2009  

    I think you missed an important aspect of all this as well – some of or most of the top chefs in the industry are male, or the ones you hear about the most, the ones who everyone talks about, etc. – seem to be male AND straight. That’s always annoyed me slightly but I guess if it was all women someone would jump in and be all “just because we’re women doesn’t mean we should all be top chefs” or something.

    PS My boyfriend can’t/doesn’t cook (milk over cereal; easy mac MAYBE) but I don’t think I’d be with him if he could or wanted to all the time. My kitchen, stay out 🙂

  • CuzMoira June 18, 2009  

    i might have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy but “bust a nut squash soup” just made my day. cheers.

  • Maids June 18, 2009  

    I don’t know BS, this survey is bound to be a little skewed towards the Kitchen Kings (afterall the ES crowd is a poor sample group to represent the public at large… most of us are folks who take cooking and food a little too seriously)…

  • Bliz June 18, 2009  

    I smoke my arugula

  • Mrs. TVFF June 18, 2009  

    Hmmm… that raises a good question. TVFF, did you pick up cooking just to get me to marry you?! 🙂

  • Nick June 18, 2009  

    Obviously, I cook a lot. My girlfriend has actually become nearly incapable of even simple kitchen tasks due to my Type A control of the kitchen.

    I guess I can see how those cooking sites could totally help you get laid… until the person you are trying to seduce sees the recipe up on the computer… Then you’re screwed. Or not as the case may be…

  • TVFF June 19, 2009  

    Congrats on running the dirtiest picture ever featured on Endless Simmer.

  • BS June 19, 2009  

    you should have seen the ones I rejected!

  • ladygoat June 20, 2009  

    My husband claims he and other men of his age learned to cook, not in order to get women, but because women of our age wouldn’t cook – in contrast to the older generation, where women cooked and men didn’t. And he cooks pretty well.

  • nick June 22, 2009  

    I share the cooking responsibility with the woman – and when I do it’s certainly not for “leg-spreading potential.” Generally speaking she cooks the “utilitarian” week night meals and I cook on the weekends. I prefer to spend my time/talents making some complicated concoction of unreasonably priced ingredients, than Tuesday’s grilled chicken w/penne.

    For those men among us not bonded to the stake of fidelity via the chains of monogamy, this is true:

    cooking meal for girl > buying dinner for girl

    Think about it this way, she is already at your place and you directly control the amount of booze that goes into each dish. Not to mention the fact that she might ACTUALLY enjoy the food and assume you are suave and talented, in direct opposition to the stark truth that you are a worthless dolt. I say, let her have her fantasy world, exploit the leg-spreading potential, and if you happen to enjoy making the meal, all the better.

  • Catfish June 23, 2009  

    I never really thought of it in sexual terms, but a lot of how I wooed my wife was with my skill in the kitchen. I was dirt poor, didn’t really have anything to offer in material terms, but when I could come over and crank out a gourmet meal out of whatever was already at her house, well, she knew she couldn’t let me go. But if she ever left me, then yeah, I think I might more aggressively use cooking as an enticement for women, but I don’t know how well it works if you don’t really enjoy it…… be seriously talented at something you have to feed back into it a part of yourself, and I wonder how well the food-for-fornication gambit worked for those guys who were otherwise disinterested in what they were creating.

  • erica June 23, 2009  

    i know when guys cook it charms the pants off of me – especially if they’re good!

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