Live Blogging Top Chef: Episode 5

Ok so I’m live blogging tonight, and I have to warn you…. I passionately dislike our precious Padma (yeah, I said it). Her monotone, non-expressive voice, and the Top Chef promos of her popping a champagne bottle and spraying it everywhere make me want to vomit. But I LOVE TOP CHEF, and I just put a vegetable lasagna in the oven for the occasion!

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Ok we’re starting- and the preview looks crazy- people are yelling at each other, a table fell down.. what’s going on!

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Zoi is always pissed

Ming Tsai is the guest judge. Jesus, Padma just pointed to her mouth and was like “your palate, your palate is so important”

OMG everyone is so conceited about their palate – They have to figure out which cuisine is the gourmet and which is not and Padma sounds legitly pissed that someone was not correct- she’s such a bitch – so disappointed! and Stephanie sounds biiiiter

I don’t know what to think about Antonia… I think she might be the hidden gem…

Or should I say the hidden element –

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Wow only 15 minutes to make 3 courses!

Antonia: “I will make a f-ing condensed soup”

I agree with Lisa – How can you be comfortable with having a meal be an EGG! I’m sorry, but people like to eat, and they are not going to be satisfied with 1 egg in the middle of their plate.

Jeff’s mom said over the phone that Spike should lose – I agree – the producers just want to keep him

Ewww why is Spike saying a sentence that includes women and strangling…

Yes! Stephanie! Get the thick cut bacon! Seriously bacon makes everything better!

Andrew is very hyper… I don’t know what to think of him as a chef…

TAPIOCA faux caviar AGAIN! NO! you know what, it’s not famous, it’s not cool, and it reminds me of drinking bubble tea, which was one of the worst experiences ever!

Miso Bacon!! Even my vegetarian roommate just said he thought that sounds amazing

Nikki has a beehive… and she’s talking about making a pomegranate martini

OMG Zoi is such a complainer – like be adaptive! Please!

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How could you think that scales are ok to keep on the fish! Like to serve at a Meals on Wheels Fundraiser – not acceptable – yeah yum – tapioca nastiness on scaly salmon — ew — EW I’m gagging! they called it watery salmon!

Padma’s trying to influence MING with her stupid voice “isn’t this shrimp good Ming… don’t you think it is!”

Sorry I’ll stop talking bad about Padma

Padma, seriously stop talking about the shrimp though

Team Earth – “cooking 101: season your food” – I think they did bad

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I take it back- I just saw the Top Chef promo of Padma taking a bite out of an apple saying “Still Hungry?” – I will continue to talk sh-t about her

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Of course the Shrimp team won – you know why? Because Padma said to do it. And because Stephanie used the thick cut bacon.

I have to try the new technique of this miso bacon – OMG her team member was pissed because Lisa won for bacon! She’s so SMART for using BACON – how dare you be pissed!

Wow team earth fried capers! That sounds awesome!

I have to agree with Ming, soup is a good dish to do, Antonia!

Ok it seems like people here are thinking Richard might go home for the salmon scales.

I agree with Tom, I would also like both Spike and Zoi to be kicked off!

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Words cannot describe what I’m feeling after hearing the poll by Bravo, “Who do you think is being the most difficult and needs a spanking?” WHAAA! I’m laughing hysterically and feeling uncomfortable at the same time!

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Zoi is out- she was really just giving waaay too many excuses.

Oh my they clearly give the contestants alcohol so they will yell at each other. Antonia is yelllling! And now people are yelling at Lisa! AND HE’s GRABBING HIS NUTS WHILE YELLING!! That is unacceptable.

I don’t like that ending of the episode with all that yelling! Draaaaama.