Attention Crazy People: Obama Is the New Jesus

I’m not sure exactly what makes this happen, but there is something about history’s great inspirational, controversial figures that causes them show up in some yokel’s milkshake, tortilla or toast.

I have previously expressed my love for the Notorious BHO, and have even enjoyed his namesake beer and ice cream products on occasion. I have not, however, started seeing his handsome mug in my breakfast foods.

This Southern California man has, and he details a pretty fantastic (and by fantastic I mean, made up) story about how the Hillary Clinton campaign appeared at his door in an effort to silence the great toast apparition of 2008:

Yesterday morning my wife asked me if I wanted toast for breakfast. I said “sure.”

Now I wish that I had never said that…

Because what appeared on my slice of toast was the strangest image that has the uncanny likeness of Barack Obama. What could this possibly mean? Its not my imagination either, just LOOK at the photograph! ITS OBAMA. I checked my toaster. Its Just a regular old toaster that has never produced anything like this before! But it doesn’t end there.

I e-mailed a picture of the weird toast to a friend of mine, asking him for his opinion. He forwarded it to some Hillary Clinton
campaign person and by 4pm I heard a knock at my door.

“We’ll give you $20 bucks for the Obama Toast.”

Two men stood in my doorway, both neatly dressed, the older of the two seemed to be the spokesperson. He reached into his pocket and produced a roll of cash. Peeling off a crisp $20, he handed it to me. I almost took it, but then something didn’t make sense.

“Who are you and why do you want my toast?” I queried.

“Let’s just say that we’re with the Clinton campaign and this toast with the Obama apparition on it is something that is a little inconvenient right now.”

“I see.” I said as I slowly closed and locked the screen door. “I think I can get a better offer on Ebay.”

Personally, I think it’s about time for America to lose “In God We Trust” and just make “I think I can get a better offer on Ebay” the official national motto.

For the record, the Obama toast is currently at a high bid of $335, and no, it’s not available in whole wheat.