This Old Hag Climbed Old Rag

80’s work

80 Proof and his coworkers kidnapped me to the Shenandoah Valley out in Virginia and demanded I hike 7 fucking miles for 5 fucking hours, starting at an obscene hour Sunday morning.

This lazy girl was not so psyched about this venture until 80 remembered that we had to pack snacks (clearly I don’t have much hiking experience, therefore, I didn’t come to this conclusion myself.) So as soon as FOOD appeared in the picture, I became ready for my time in the wilderness…here I come Old Rag Mountain.

But, since 80 Proof didn’t tell me about the food aspect until two nights before (and the next day was *MOVING* day, not cooking prep-day) I had 15 minutes in the market, a la Super Market Sweep, because the store was just about to close. I quickly jumped online to figure out some hiking food musts and rolled with that to design my own trailblazing creations.

I picked up, in no real order:

1. “Health” trail mix (next time I will make my own!)
2. Apples, one red and one golden delicious
3. Bananas, two
4. Salted Cashews (a fav of 80)
5. Wheat Thins (not the whole box, just a baggie full)
6. Pringles (for the car ride home)
7. Gatorade
8. Fusilli pasta
9. Red Pepper
10. Peanut Butter
11. Whole Wheat Pita




Peanut Butter and Banana Pockets

This is so quick and easy to put together that even I could do it at 6:15 in the morning on a scummy table at the HoJo.

Just tear a pita in half and gently pry apart so you can fit food in the middle. Spread a generous dose of peanut butter on one inside panel of the pita. Slice the banana short-ways and then spread each round on the peanut butter. Press the pita shut and wrap in foil. I had to eat this gem in the car ride to Old Rag, but it’d be sturdy enough to eat mountain-side.


finding the noodleyumall gone
(the Bengals mean NOTHING to me…Go EAGLES!)


Quick & Dirty Pasta Salad

I take pride in my pasta salads, and although this one is a simpler version of my Rosemary Fusilli Salad, it’s still very good. And sure, I know most of you advanced hikers must be thinking, ‘UM, what is she doing with pasta salad on a HIKE?!?!” I tell you I thought it was going to be perfect because all the ingredients could last a couple hours without refrigeration, but, now that I have one climb under my belt, I will probably reconsider bringing something of this nature with me to the mountain. Although in the car, with fork in hand, it was perfect. While cooking the fusilli, I sliced some red pepper into long strips and slightly charred it. I then cut it bite-sized. When the fusilli was done, I dropped it in with the red pepper and snipped scallions and than doused it with EVOO. Tossed that around and added some worcestershire sauce, coarsely chopped rosemary, some lemon squirts and salt and pepper.



apple a day…

But I think 80 had it right all along…An apple is nature’s perfect trail treat


More of Old Rag






(photos by 80 Proof and fellow hiker, Colin Ulen)

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One comment

  • Robyn June 29, 2007  

    No offense, but that website lists tuna and crackers as a hiking food. Imagine reaching the top of them mountain on a hot day to open your bag for a snack….and find that you packed warm canned tuna and crackers. Smelly and gross. Ew.

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