I haven’t read the book yet. I’m actually scared to.

I emailed with my friend Tim yesterday and I told him about my latest purchase and what I did on Tuesday night. Liza (of ES) and I saw Jonathan Safran Foer speak about his new book, Eating Animals.  As I wrote to Tim, I’m afraid that after I read it my pending vegetarianism will be cemented. Or I will only eat properly raised animals. Ugh. I just don’t know.

I’ve been on a mostly vegetable diet  for the past year and a half. There are a ton of reasons for the slow conversion, but reading Michael Pollan (Omnivore’s Dilemma, In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto, his New York Times Magazine pieces) has been undeniably influential. And of course my ritualistic dedication of eating what the farmers are selling at my local market has enthusiastically showed me how to eat produce with the seasons.

Andrew Sullivan, of Subway fame, introduced Foer at the 6th and I Historic Synagogue in DC. I had no idea that the already segmented gay Republican is also a vegetarian. He started with a story of his own book tour in Scotland. He’d been hammered with questions regarding his sexual orientation and was then innocently asked, “Do you eat meat?” With laughter from the audience, Sullivan joked with us that there were several possible answers to that question. He replied, however, that “No, never. It’s the only thing I can truly justify.”

And then Foer came on and pisted me off.

What made me interested in this book, besides the subject matter, was Foer’s beautiful piece in the New York Times Magazine. I knew it was an excerpt of sorts, but I didn’t think that the excerpt—that has now been in circulation since the beginning of October—would be what Foer read for 20 minutes.

I mean, dude. I get it. You’re on a book tour, saying the same shit in cities across the country, but come on. Don’t you think most of the people here have read about your book and have also read your excerpt. We only have an hour with you. Couldn’t you find another section to read? Couldn’t you have told more stories about your kick ass grandmother?

His answer to a question about hunting in comparison to factory farming was quite hysterical though. Because the talk was in a synagogue, with many Jewish audience members, Foer, a Jew, brought out our famous humor. The leading question was about how tied Jews are to meat eating but would never hunt animals themselves.  The questioner also brought up that if you kill your own meat it is much better than being tied into the industrial agricultural complex.

Foer: “It’s not that they think hunting is unethical, but it’s more like feh. Jews recoil at the act of hunting.” I’m not sure how to show the Jew-flection in the word feh, but if you had ever met my Aunt Jodi you’d be cracking up right now. Foer continued his no kill rule, correcting the questioner, “Hunters are hunting to eat, not eating to hunt. People hunt because they like to kill things. We don’t need to go out and kill things. A lot of things are exciting but we don’t do them.” Although Foer admitted to the allure of primal urges.

Foer shaped the issue, not as a crusade to persuade people into vegetarianism, but to encourage people to be thoughtful. He claims it’s not vegetarians vs. meat eaters, but people who care vs. people who don’t care.  Does this qualify as passive aggressive?

But I’ve taken Mr. Foer’s bait. I’m willing to think about it. I will weigh the many consequences of eating meat, especially  the devastating environmental impact. I’m not sure if I have the ability to adhere to values, to deny the deliciousness of flesh.

I will say this with certainty: Jonathan is pretty effing cute and I don’t even go for the NYC/Jew type. I think it’s the glasses.

Hey ESers, did you miss me? I missed you!  I’m afraid I’ve been gallivanting about for about a month and I have severely neglected ES in the meantime (and cooking in general).  I’ve been back for a week, and I must admit that my brain is a bit rusty and my cooking thus far has been less than inspired.  Does that ever happen to you all after a long time away from your kitchen?

I mean I was missing my kitchen the entire time I was gone, but my cooking muses seem to have expired during my brief journey, leaving me with only enough energy to cook a few stir-fries and throw together some salads.  Ugh….  Cookers’ block.

However, lucky readers, before I left for travels, I was struck by no such affliction.  In fact, just before I left I hosted a dinner party for which I pulled out all the stops. With my favorite summer ingredient at the ready  I made my most delicious  and complex pattypan dish yet:  Chickpea and Pesto Stuffed Pattypans:

There they were, fresh from the Mount Pleasant Farmers’ Market: seven large gleaming yellow pattypans.

I’d made a delicious, vat of vegan lactose-free pesto earlier.  For the pesto I threw the following into a food processor and gave it a few pulses:

a half pound of arugula, two cups of cilantro, a handful of basil from my garden, a half cup of lemon juice, two cap fulls of olive oil, eight cloves of raw garlic, about three tablespoons of plain nonfat yogurt for extra creaminess (you can easily sub plain soy yogurt for this ingredient if you’re a damned hippy – I mean a vegan), an 8-ounce bag of almonds, a liberal amount of salt, and one half of a seeded poblano pepper (these are very mild peppers when you come right down to it, and perfect for giving a smidge of heat to a pesto)

It was a truly delicious, salty, bitey pesto.  I’d used it on a pasta earlier in the week and had Gansie try it out.  She’d shrieked, “Maids, oh my fucking god!  This is delicious.”  It was very gratifying, since I’d followed her advice and used the arugula as the base of the pesto.

I cut the tops off of each pattypan (see picture above) and saved the tops for roasting later on.  I also scooped a little more of the pulp out to  allow for space for the chickpeas later on.  I conserved these scoopings because I thought they’d add a little extra thickness to the chickpeas I was about to sautee.   I brushed the scooped pattypans and the pattypan tops with a bit of salted olive oil and popped them in the oven, which I’d heated to 285. I let them sit in there for about 15 minutes while I sauteed the chickpeas.

I took 2 lbs of canned chickpeas and drained and rinsed them thoroughly.  Then I chopped up a red onion, a cup of cilantro and the conserved pattypan squash scoopings and tossed them into a frying pan with a little olive oil.  I let those caramelize lightly for about 5 minutes and then I added the 2 lbs of chickpeas to the pan and satueed on high heat for about 10 minutes, until the chickpeas had browned slightly and the red onion had softened.  I then fully coated the chickpea sautee with the arugula/basil/cilantro pesto.  I used just enough of the pesto to coat the chickpeas; I didn’t want them swimming in the pesto.

I removed the pattypans from the oven and turned the oven heat up to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.  I filled the pattypan cups with the chickpea pesto mixture and sprinkled Parmesan cheese on top of all of the pattypans expect one (mine ).  This one I sprinkled with a little extra salt.

When the oven was heated I put the stuffed pattypans back in the oven and let them cook for another 20 minutes.

When the pattypan skin was tender and slightly wrinkled, I removed the pattypans from the oven and placed fresh basil leaves on top of each pattypan (our garden is overflowing with basil…. I am the proud mama of a veritable basil tree!)

While the pattypans were in the oven I cooked the pattypan tops in a frying pan with garlic and salt until they were tender. Before serving, I placed the tops on the stuffed pattypans.  Each dinner guest had a stuffed pattypan to her/himself.  It was a substantial and delicious main feature to the dinner, well accompanied by salad and summery white wine.

Press people the world over are in quite a lather about the historic reconciliation of Paul McCartney and Yoko Ono.  The two frenemies were brought to the bargaining table around (what else?) food.

Yoko and PaulMac reunited just to plug the Meat Free Mondays global campaign. Okay fine, they probably reconciled eons ago; I don’t really follow the Yoko v. Beatles feud, I just know I’m on her side. I personally have always loved the eccentric, feisty, ethereal Yoko more than John Lennon’s band members.  If she can stomach PaulMac to join him in promoting the idea of cutting greenhouse gas emissions by reducing our consumption of domesticated critters, then more power to her.

Paul and Yoko’s idea is to slowly pull the meat-eaters of the world into the land of vegetarianism by urging people to go meat-free one day a week.  The Meat Free Mondays site is chock full of recipes I need to try (as if I can follow a recipe…), food porn, and (oh yeah) information about the effect of excessive meat-eating on the environment. Like PETA, MFM also tries to lure us into vegetarianism with a list of celebs who don’t dig on flesh (Judi Dench, who knew?)

What do you think, ESers? Are you carnivores willing to give up one day of meat to save the planet from extinction? And what about you hard-line veggies? Are Paul and Yoko sell-outs for telling eaters they can just give up meat once a week instead of going the full monty? And yea or nay on Yoko’s hat?

(Pics: Frank Barratt/Getty Images via Black is the New Black and Sydney Morning Herald)

Editor’s Note: You’re not allowed to read this post if you’re currently dating me. Thanks for your cooperation

OK, I’m in need of some serious assistance here, ESers!  So the veggie gf’s birthday is on Thursday. Not really thinking, I suggested we could go to this veggie-friendly fancy restaurant by her house, or she could tell me what she wants me to cook, or I could just cook her a surprise meal. Of course she opted for the surprise, and now I’m freaking out because I’ve committed to crafting a “special” meal, but I’m totally inhibited since usually when I’m trying to go fancy, some form of pork is always my M.V.I.

We cook together all the time, but usually make something fairly simple, like a veggie stir-fry or veggie fajitas. I just don’t know how to go fancy with the veg. God, it’s so much easier to make people feel special when you can just give them bacon.

So I need to devise a semi-fancy menu sans flesh. I’m thinking maybe some kind of spring-y soup followed by, man I don’t even know what.

Limitations: she doesn’t like eggplant, which I think is totally unfair. If you’re going to rule out an entire food group, you really should be required to eat everything in the other food groups. She also doesn’t like tomatoes unless they’re in-season and juicy, which I think is fair. She’s not a vegan (thank god), so cheese is very much on the table.

I know there are a lot of you vegetarians and vegetarian-lovers out there, so hit me with your best “fancy” veggie meal plans. Oh, and if you have a chocolate dessert recipe that a baking-challenged cook can handle, hook me up with that too. I promise to report back with pretty pictures and/or disaster stories.

(Photo: kighp)