Editor’s Note: Longtime ES reader Thresher was moved to write a response to Amcstang’s recent thoughts on the Paleo Diet. We love us a good controversy.

Paleo Diets are one of my pet peeves. It’s such a brilliant idea at the core, but none of the popular versions of it hit at the nugget of scientific truth that should be emphasized: caloric restriction works pretty well (we evolved being very, very hungry for most of the average year) and probably is one of the few approaches to eating that will demonstrably make the average person live longer. But it’s hard to enjoy, and there aren’t many food blogs that can be built around like 1,000 calories per day.

Let me frame that rant. I had a reaction to a previous Endless Simmer post. It was on the topic of a particular type of the Paleo Diet ethos, and I couldn’t help but grit my teeth while reading it. I thought I’d offer a response, for good measure, from the perspective of the epidemiologists and biologists (etc…) who’ve been seriously studying diet and quality of life for decades.

‘Diet’ strikes many of us as a four-letter word because there are so many of them out there, each hawking a particular (amazing) benefit. “Eat only magic cookies!” “Lose 80 pounds through cheese!” “Live forever young!” As much as we tend to desire these very gratifying claims, we also roll our eyes at the commercials that brag about them because, deep down, they seem at least a little bullshitty.

So, yes, there are a lot of opinions out there on how to eat well, and it’s hard to call any of them flat-out wrong. That’s because faddish diet plans tend to focus on achieving a particular goal, in the short term, and sometimes they can achieve that goal really well. There are fad diets that will make you skinnier, bulkier, leaner, even sexier and more tan. But they’re called fads for a reason: after an initial quick success, they don’t end up doing anything good for your body in the long run (and sometimes they can do some serious damage, or at the very least make you fatter than when you started).

Forget all that. I can summarize in a couple sentences the big picture on diet and health that we pretty much know is true—from science! I swear I’ll be quick with a few facts and then we’ll get to some yummy stuff.

First, know this: three of the top five things that are most likely to do us in are related to how we eat: heart disease, cancer and stroke. Boom. That sucks.

Ok, but there’s good news, too. Some monumental research projects are very worth mentioning here, and you may have heard of them: the China study, the Harvard nurses study and Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn’s heart disease studies. They’re the central studies that public health practitioners look to for advice because they’re literally “high powered” in the statistical sense—massively large groups of people under study for a very long time are what give us the kinds of numbers we need to draw really strong conclusions. These investigations have followed more than 120,000 people for almost five decades, and they draw clear and consistent recommendations: no matter what your background, all three of those diet-related awful things are much less likely to show up if you eat mostly plant-based foods (cereals, fruits, vegetables, nuts) and reduce as much oil and animal protein as possible. That’s longhand for a balanced vegan diet.

Now I know that ‘vegan’ can be as much of a dirty word as ‘diet,’ but it shouldn’t be. It’s not a short-term effect fad, says science, and it isn’t an all-or-nothing connection—that same body of research tells us that even just moving a little bit in the vegan direction improves health by a little bit, too. You can start experimenting to find plant-based meals you like, even just once a week, and work from there.

For instance, you’d be surprised at how many dishes can be prepared in a way that incorporates a frightening number of your recommended daily servings of good stuff while still being worthy of late-night cravings (sans butter, olive oil or other refined fats). A staple in my kitchen is the New York Times veggie burger. Foof it up with extra cilantro and garam masala, dressed with spring greens and cashew cheese, and you’ve got our weekly curry burger dinner that I manage to feed to three tweenage boys (pictured above). Since oats are a principal ingredient, the meal also makes us feel fuller for longer.

Don’t forget that the food processor is your friend. Where you’d use oil and cheese in a fresh pesto (one of my absolute favorite things to slather on a sandwich), whip up a batch in a blender using just a big bunch of basil leaves, a cup of stove-top toasted walnuts, a clove of garlic and a quarter cup of almond milk. Salt (or tamari) to taste, and toss in some avocado when it’s around!

A well-appointed spice rack will help you brighten up any vegetable plate, so look around for tastes that really pique your palette—I was introduced to sumac and za’atar and now they’re my go-to seasonings for cooked greens.

Otherwise, get creative! My kitchen motto is “make shit up,” and, come on, we all know that’s how we find (or tweak) our favorite recipes. Look for inspiration in any of the cookbooks you already have and experiment with substitutions like using vegetable broth instead of oil for sautéing.

If you’re already following a diet plan, you can integrate this approach into what you’re already doing. Bill Clinton famously adopted a mostly vegan diet this year in consultation with Dr. Esselstyn, and the Engine 2 diet (championed by Dr. Esselstyn’s incredibly hot son) has emerged as a plainclothes way to get people eating this way even if they aren’t former presidents. As a testament to how versatile this approach can be, there are even Paleo vegans.

I’m not entirely vegetarian. I still eat seafood regularly and poultry occasionally. And I’m not one of those judgmental asshats that sits at a table with carnivores and silently judges them or does the whole, “Do you even know what you’re eating?!” thing. If you’re vegan, good for you. If you’re a carnivore, go for it. I get it. Bacon is delicious. What I find puzzling is the whole fake-meat-disguised-as-meat phenomenon. It’s like fat free butter or fake fur – it just feels weird. Why would anyone who has omitted animals from their diet have any desire to consume tofu shaped into an animal?

OK, I’ll be entirely honest — the realistic turkey — I have a compulsion to buy one the next time I’m home (it’s from a restaurant/tofu manufacturer in LA called Vinh Loi), just out of morbid curiosity. So I started poking around and came across a whole world of fake meat that I never even knew existed. Vegetarian offal:

Like vegetarian gizzards.

(Photo:Vegetarian World Foods)

Vegetarian intestines!

Or kidneys.

And my personal favorite, swallow balls. While looking for pictures of swallow balls, I saw things that I can never, ever un-see.

Maybe it’s because I don’t find actual offal appealing – but faux intestines just do not get my mouth watering. In any case a little more digging suggested that the non-meat-masquerading-as-meat situation was a result of ancient Buddhist tradition. I have no idea if this is true. But I’m still having a hard time with the picture of the intestines on the plate on the front of the veggie intestines bag – I keep coming back to the intestines. How is that appealing?! “Here – have a plate of intestines! With some wine!”

So the next time you need vegetarian offal to complete that vegetarian recipe you’re cooking up, you’re covered. And if you make swallow balls anytime soon, please – save me some.

(Ttop Photo: Quarry Girl)

Charcuterie from the Downtown Grocery

Salad greens from Coger's Sugarhouse

I grew up in a meat and potatoes household. My father was (and still is) the type that had strong feelings about what went on the dinner plate, and if it didn’t moo or cluck it was considered a side dish. So imagine my culinary bafflement as I have undertaken a two-week chef gig to cook for a yoga teacher training at Good Commons, a boutique retreat center nestled in the rolling hills of Vermont.

Three meals a day and not an animal in sight. Not only are these yogis avoiding meat, but also dairy, soy and gluten. And I thought downward dog was tough.

It’s not that I don’t have experience or interest in cooking vegetarian dishes. I love connecting with the local farmers and menu planning based on what is coming out of the ground. But how much roughage can a person take? The answer—plenty.

I should qualify… I could easily be sneaking off to the local pizza joint for “Instructor Wings,” a winning combination of hot wings and barbecue sauce named after a special request from the snowboarders who work at Okemo Valley during ski season. Better yet, a mosey to The Downtown Grocery in Ludlow, where chef Rogan Lechthaler is doing some amazing charcuterie. But I’ve been feeling a bit too much junk in the trunk and thought a two-week meat sabbatical might do me well. So here’s what I’ve learned so far.

 Top 5 Observations on a Vegan Diet

5. It’s more fun to chew a perfectly marbled strip steak than bite into a piece of “extra firm” tofu, no matter how well it’s seasoned or seared.

4. Kale is brilliant: it keeps for almost a week in the fridge and can be eaten raw, blanched, sautéed or even creamed with a vegan béchamel, which I made with Earth Balance (soy, I know!), gluten-free flour, almond milk and plenty of salt and pepper.

3. Kohlrabi can kiss my ass. Years ago, my instructor at the French Culinary Institute brainwashed me after hours of tournage into thinking that turnips were edible. At the end of the day I still feel like Scarlett O’Hara screaming “I’ll never go hungry again.” That is, unless kohlrabi is involved.

2. Quick breads are the gluten-free chef’s best friend. While my attempt at a crusty loaf of sourdough turned out cakey and metallic, bring some gluten-free oats into the mix along with overripe bananas, coconut and plenty of chocolate (NibMor is a fantastic raw, organic brand and manufactured in Vermont), and you’ve got yourself a snack worthy of a hundred sun salutations.

1. My shit don’t stink. I seriously think I’ve turned into a human compost machine. I’m ready to fertilize a small farm, as long as it’s raising pigs, cows and chickens. The reason for this is that we don’t actually digest meat. When we do go carnivore, we’re basically shitting the rotted version of what we originally put in our mouths. Will this stop me from eating a bacon cheddar burger as soon as this gig wraps? Doubtful, but I will pause to consider where that meat is coming from—and where it’s going to end up.

I recently met a friend for breakfast at Panera and was surprised, nay shocked, to learn that they didn’t offer any gluten-free items at the bread bar. How could this be? Are they not aware of the growing number of people who are flocking toward gluten-free lifestyles?

The solution? De-gluten-ize the whole place! Namely Marly and her crew came up with gluten-free recipes for nine different items on the Panera menu. But will the bakery chain add any of these creations to their roster? Your move, Panera.

1. Chocolate Chunk Muffins

Recipe: Multiply Delicious

2. Caramel Pecan Rolls

Recipe: Namely Marly

3. Spinach and Artichoke Souffle

Recipe: Clean Green Simple

4. Blueberry Lemon Muffins

Recipe: Family Fresh Cooking

5. Jalapeno Cheddar Bagel

Recipe: Manifest Vegan

6. Cinnamon Crumb Coffee Cake

Recipe: Diet, Dessert and Dogs

7. Pumpkin Muffins

Recipe: Veggie num num

8. Orange Scones

Recipe: Heather Strang

9. Apple Crunch Muffins

Recipe: Oh She Glows

More gluten-free recipes from Endless Simmer:

gluten-free chocolate mint cupcakes

gluten-free tortilla chip stuffing

America’s top 10 new sandwiches — veganized

Holy Seitan! There’s been some serious muckraking going on in the ultra-ethical land of veganism. The vegan blog Quarrygirl uncovered doctored photos from VegNews, a San Francisco-based vegetarian magazine.

To illustrate its recipe for vegan spare ribs, the magazine apparently used stock photography of the real meat kind of spare rib, then scrubbed out the bones to make it look faux.

Quarrygirl posted numerous examples of the fraud, deciding that “VegNews has serious editorial integrity issues, and cannot be trusted.”

On Thursday, VegNews published a formal response, acknowledging the real meat in the photo, but explaining their reasoning as financial:

Yes, from time to time, after exhausting all options, we have resorted to using stock photography that may or may not be vegan. In an ideal world we would use custom-shot photography for every spread, but it is simply not financially feasible for VegNews at this time. In those rare times that we use an image that isn’t vegan, our entire (vegan) staff weighs in on whether or not it’s appropriate. It is industry standard to use stock photography in magazines—and, sadly, there are very few specifically vegan images offered by stock companies.

In a phone interview, VegNews publisher Joseph Connelly, continued the mea culpa, well, sort-of, “I apologize that our readers and supporters are upset. I’m shocked with the reaction. I wish the time and energy being devoted [to this controversy] would actually save animals and not potentially harm a vegan business.”

VegNews quickly changed its way, publishing a new policy that all photos on the web and in the magazine will be vegan.

While the strict vegan lifestyle is often vilified for its militant stances, the comments on VegNews and Quarrygirl prove otherwise. It seems like most readers understand the expenses of running a magazine and would rather have a flawed source of vegan and vegetarian news, than none at all. Of course, not everyone is so forgiving.

ES emailed with Quarrygirl about what it would take to excuse this anti-animal act.

Would you rather there be a flawed vegan magazine which uses meat in its photographs than no magazine at all?
I don’t think it’s an “either or” type of situation. I’d rather see VegNews learn from this situation and change their ways, than to see them go out of business. As long as they do feature pictures of flesh masquerading as vegan dishes, though, I can’t support them.

Can VegNews regain your trust? If so, what would they have to do?
Regaining our trust would be pretty simple. All VegNews would need to do is apologize for deceiving readers, and not use any photographs of animal products in the future. I think this would be a great opportunity for them to team up with talented vegan photographers who want to help, and make their site and magazine even better. Stock photos are boring anyways!

What was your gut reaction when you saw the tip from the reader about the burger photo?
When I first saw the email from the reader about VegNews using photos of real meat on their site, I thought, “This can’t be right. No way.” Sure enough, almost every photo I spot checked from my old issues of the publication had matching istock entries made with real animal products. I felt so angry—like I’d been lied to and misled for years! To think I’d been ogling photos of flesh made me sick.

Do you plan on investigating other vegan magazines and their photographs?
Not at the moment! If I see something in a vegan magazine that looks shady though, I’ll probably look into it out of curiosity.

(Photos: Quarrygirl.com)

PLANEAT.co.uk Trailer from planeat.co.uk on Vimeo.

Ed. Note: More from our resident evolutionary biologist Ph.D., EvoDiva.

The AFI Theatre in Silver Spring, Maryland presented a special viewing of “PlanEat,” a documentary that broadly examines how the food choices we make affect everything around us. The title leads you to believe that it’s all about the planet, but it’s that and so much more.

We were lucky to have the young British filmmaker Shelley Lee Davis introduce her first film to us via Skype. Three years ago, she used to argue with her vegetarian boss over his dietary choice. But the more she discovered, the more urgent it seemed to get her newfound message to the masses. She quit her job and co-produced this film (with Or Shlomi) with no start-up money and no budget for marketing. Given all this, the film itself is impressive.

Of course it’s not about the killer special effects though – it’s about the content. We’ve heard morsels of much of this stuff before. The filmmakers interviewed scientists who study the relationship between food production and its impact on the environment. The wastewater from America’s breadbasket factory farms flows down the Mississippi River and creates a dead zone in the Gulf of Mexico the size of New Jersey. The most striking (and frankly depressing) finding was that ovo-lacto vegetarians tend to have a worse impact on the environment than poultry eaters. This was based on the assumption that ovo-lacto vegetarians consume LOTS of cheese, and those cows really drain our resources.

Meanwhile, for those of you out there who can’t afford a new hybrid, you don’t have to get your tree-hugger card taken away: simply maintain a plant-based diet and you can have over 30% more of an impact than your flesh-eating, hybrid-driving friends.

As an evolutionary biologist and anatomy geek, I was most fascinated by the undeniable findings on the impact of animal protein on human health.

My boss gave me a copy of the China Study last year, but I can’t bring myself to read it because I’m afraid I’ll go vegan. (Although the more I experiment with vegan recipes, the less afraid I become.)

The author of the study is also interviewed for the film. Dr. T. Colin Campbell, a product of a Midwestern dairy farm, entered academia with the hopes of finding ways of more efficiently feeding the growing human population with animals. But his research led him to results even he didn’t want to believe: animal proteins (specifically casein in milk) are like fertilizer for cancer. They don’t cause it, but mice that had cancer were put on a plant-based diet and it magically disappeared. He found this over and over again in 40 years worth of different experiments, which were corroborated by evidence from human population studies.

Why do so many centurions come from rural China? They’re too poor to eat animal products!

In a different part of the world, Caldwell B. Esselstyn, Jr., M.D., a cardiac surgeon, put some of his “lost cause” patients on a vegan diet and they ALL got better. He literally got 100% reversal of clogged arteries in these folks and their testimonials are sobering. Hey even Bill Clinton is listening.

The best character in the whole film is Ann Esselstyn, the surgeon’s wife. She opens the doors to her kitchen and gets jazzed to show us what she’s making for lunch. She’s unintimidating, adorable and enthusiastic about her cooking style. Professional chefs also lend their time to show us some amazing food. My next quest is to figure out how they make cheese from nuts.

Now, I’m not a vegan nor do I think I will ever be a strict one.
Will I crack crabs this summer? You betcha.
Goat cheese? Sign me up (occasionally).
Will I start with a martini followed by 8 or so gin and tonics at a summer wedding? All signs point to yes.

We can’t be perfect in our consumption choices, but this film helps us to know the consequences of each food choice we make – and offers ideas for how to make super tasty meals that will make you forget about those missing animals. The filmmakers do all of this without being SMUG, if you can believe it!

Try and catch this flick if you can – there’s another showing at AFI tonight (Tuesday, April 19th at 6:20) and around the country.

- erica for one, is down with breakfast beer:

see, i think beer, like any other alcohol, can use a little spruce-me-up-water-me-down-juicy-somethin’somethin’ for breakfast time. that’s why in Europe they’ve got the Shandy: half lager, half sparkling lemonade. it may sound kinda nasty but i’ve tried it and it not only works well at breakfast, it makes piss beer (cough *pbr* cough) actually palatable.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shandy

according to a friend in stuttgart, they often do Shandies with banana juice instead of carbonated citrus stuff in that neck of the woods… uh, yeah.

Good thoughts, Erica. Also, Endless Simmer is meeting this weekend to decide whether we should replace our “we just can’t keep our mouths shut” tagline with “Endless Simmer: spruce-me-up-water-me-down-juicy-somethin’somethin.”

- In other beer innovation news, Tim is not down with name tags on Bud Light bottles:

Disappointed! How would you feel if Kraft ran the same promotion on their processed American singles?

Tim, you don’t know ES very well if you think our answer would be anything other than “that would make us very, very happy.” Everybody’s gotta protect their night cheese.

- Speaking of fake cheese, ES made our vegan readership very, very happy this week with America’s top 10 new sandwiches — veganized. My favorite comment comes from MunyaBuddya over at HuffPo:

“Where’s the vegan Double Down?”

Are you on that one or what, vegan bloggers?

(Photo: Mike Saechang)

We read this article with great curiosity but it didn’t take long until the curiosity faded and was replaced with something else. OK. We were grossed out. Particularly at one sandwich that referred to an ingredient called suckling pig. We hoped this was a reference to something other than the obvious, but it appears it is exactly as it sounds. Only one of the 10 sandwiches appeared to be vegetarian. We felt like a cross between Stan Laurel and Rodney Dangerfield, scratching our heads with a half whimper and half scowl thinking, “Why don’t we vegans get any respect?”

So they decided to demand their own respect, teaming together to create tasty and healthy versions of each cholesterol-laden entry on the list of America’s Top 10 New Sandwiches. Hence, America’s Top 10 New Sandwiches — Veganized. Here are all ten of ‘em. Follow the links for recipes.

10. The Vegan Spuckie

We called this olive-carrot-mortadella goodness from Cutty’s in Boston “the one sandwich that most successfully merges the old-school method of overdoing it on Italian meats with the new world of artisan, veggie-centric goodness.” Drop the meat part and it’s still drool-worthy. Trina Jaconi Biery of Your Vegan Mom made her own meat-free mortadella, featured here on a ciabatta roll topped with vegan mozzarella and a sweet carrot-olive salad.

Recipe: The Vegan Spuckie

(Photo: Trina Jaconi Biery)

9. Vegan Bulgogi Steak Sandwich

When Allyson Kramer of Manifest Vegan learned there was a Bulgogi Steak Sandwich (from Koja in Philly) on the list, she jumped at the chance to veganize it. As a child she used to eat bulgogi steak sometimes twice a week. Now a vegan, she’s been hankering to try a veggie-friendly version. Served on a hoagie roll (Allyson even provided a recipe for gluten-free hoagie if that’s to your liking), marinated tofu is topped with caramelized peppers and onions, chili garlic sauce, and melted vegan mozz.

Recipe: Tofu Bulgogi Steak Sandwich

(Photo: Allyson Kramer)

8. Vegan Crispy Drunken Chicken Sandwich

This sandwich from Baguette Box in Seattle was so popular with the veganists that not one but two stepped up to the plate to create a vegan version. Trudy Slabosz of Veggie Num Num made one with tender chunks of marinated tofu that are battered, fried, and glazed in an oh-so-tangy sauce served on a baguette with caramelized onions. Plus, April Moore of Epicurean Vegan prepared an alternative version of this sandwich with a surprise ingredient, portobello mushrooms, stepping in for the chicken. Whichever way you go, have lots of napkins on stand-by.

Recipes: Vegan Crispy Drunken Chicken Sandwich

(Photo: Trudy Slabosz and April Moore)

7. Vegan Cheesy Mac and Rib

Yes, the Grilled Cheese Truck in LA had the audacity to stuff mac ‘n’ cheese and BBQ pork into a grilled cheese sandwich. Talk about a challenge for the vegans. Morgan Anger at Little House of Veggies was up for it, topping a (fake) buttered sourdough baguette with (fake) cheesy macaroni, sweet BBQ seitan, and caramelized onions for one (real) savory sandwich.

Recipe: Vegan Cheesy Mac and Rib

(Photo: Morgan Anger)

6. Vegan Pibil Torta

Did you hear the cheers of vegans around the world as they celebrated the arrival of a vegan version of this particularly bothersome sandwich? The original pibil torta from Xoco in Chicago is made with suckling pig meat, and although some of the vegans hoped this was some sort of dysphemism for something other than the obvious, it wasn’t. Noelle Kelly of An Opera Singer in the Kitchen saved the day (and a few baby pigs) with her Vegan Pibil Torta featuring marinated wild mushrooms, a black bean paste and caramelized onions served on a crusty Mexican bolillo bread.

Recipe: Vegan Pibil Torta

Next: Top 5 Veganized Sandwiches

I’m still heavy into my ad-hoc Indian cooking phase. I visited an Indian grocer in Takoma Park, Maryland and brought home a new slew of ingredients: hot curry powder, coriander powder, ghee, hing, paneer and masoor dal. I went right home to cook, trying to perfect a no-recipe-necessary dal palak. I had a vegan friend coming over so I skipped the ghee, but added all of my new spices. I still couldn’t find the necessary depth, but it’s an improvement over the last. However, when I whipped the lentils into a dip for the next day’s party, it turned out perfectly.

Dal Palak Dip

I basically turned this recipe for Dal Palak into a dip:

Let oil (or ghee for non-vegans) get hot in a pan, then add your spices. I used: hot curry powder, regular curry powder, coriander powder, hing, cumin, black mustard seeds, fenugreek, garlic powder, onion powder, salt and pepper. Let them go for a few minutes.

Measure 3/4 of a cup of udad lentils, rinse and pick through (I found some black specs and tossed them), then heat them with the spices for about 10 minutes, . Add 3 cups of water, cover and let simmer until soft. The lentils tasted a bit bitter, so I added pickled ramp vinegar (I think any vinegar would do) and some lemon extract. A few minutes before serving, I threw in torn spinach leaves to just-wilt into the lentils.

For the next days dip, I used the left over lentils and added coriander chutney, tamarind sauce and a extra few spinach and parsley leaves and blended it together in a mini food processor. It’s topped with black mustard seeds and spicy chickpea flour sticks for extra crunch.

Editors’ Note: Please welcome new ES contributor JR Moreau. The talented blogger behind Not So Literal is branching out to share his eating experiences with us.

This past summer I moved to Boulder, Colorado, home of the Colorado University Buffs (Buffaloes). This is destiny because I do in fact love all things Buffalo. Buffalo meat is tasty, Buffalo sauce is yummy, and Buffalo, New York is… kinda cool.

But as I sat and contemplated the awesomeness of anything prefixed by the word “Buffalo” I suddenly felt sad. I felt remorseful that I could enjoy home-made hot wings made out of chicken and other carnivorous materials and my vegan and vegetarian friends couldn’t share the experience. So I slept on it, ate hot wings at restaurants with friends, drank beers and put as much of my spare brainpower into how I could create an imitation hot-wing experience that would do justice to what I love about hot wings. It came to me on a mountaintop, in the middle of a thunderstorm, with Beethoven’s 9th blaring….

I was going to make hot wings for my friend’s weekly potluck gathering 2-ways. Meat-friendly and vegan-friendly! Both from scratch too. Here’s how I did it (it wasn’t that hard really).

The first thing to get started on is the chicken. You’re going to want to pre-heat the oven to about 450 degrees as you lay out your wings and drumsticks next to one another on a greased baking sheet, being sure to leave some space between them. Season the chicken however you want, keeping in mind they’re going to be swimming in hot sauce in about an hour. I like to use standard salt and pepper with maybe an extra dash or two of cayenne pepper to give the meat a little kick.

After you throw your chicken into the oven, turn your attention to the tofu. Open up the package, drain out the water and remove the whole block of tofu. Take two of your heavier plates and place a paper towel on top of one. Lay the tofu on top of the paper towel, then lay another paper towel over the tofu block. Take your other plate and lay it on top and let it sit for a bit. At least 10 minutes. This is going to remove some of the water stored in the tofu and help it fry and crisp up better. As the tofu releases some of it’s moisture, you can get your sauces ready.

Using two medium saucepans, pour 2 cups of hot sauce in and turn the heat to medium-low. The vegan hot wing sauce is going to have hot sauce and Smart Balance and the original hot wings sauce will consist of hot sauce and real butter. For optional extra flavor and texture, I added a cup of finely diced onions to both pots. Let the Smart Balance and butter melt completely in both pots and simmer for 10 minutes to thicken up a bit.

For my original hot wing recipe, I opted to use pre-made blue cheese salad dressing because I was running short on time and didn’t feel like buying a $15.00 hunk of London Fog and mashing it into dipping sauce (although in retrospect, it would have been glorious). For the vegan dipping sauce, I used a mayonnaise substitute called “Nayonaise.” I added three tablespoons of rice vinegar, one tablespoon of garlic powder, one of onion powder, a teaspoon of cayenne pepper, a half tablespoon of black pepper and the juice of half a lemon.

After about 50 minutes, your chicken should start peeling away from the bone and be very crispy. When it looks like they’re about done, take your dried tofu and cut it into one-inch diameter strips while you heat some vegetable or olive oil over medium high heat. Place the strips in and fry them to a golden brown on all four sides, about 2 minutes each side.

The key to a good coating of hot wing sauce is that you toss the chicken (or not chicken) when it’s as hot as possible, like right out of the oven or frying pan. Toss them around a few times (using tongs to put them in and take them out), shake off the excess sauce and send them off to the crowd to devour.