Petunia: A How-To Guide on Roasting a Pig

Despite this miserably hot and muggy summer, we’ll be dammed if 100-plus degree heat is going to stop us from cooking out. But what does a food obsessed person do when you want to up the game from your casual cook out?  Roast a pig for 150 people on a Saturday that turned out to be the sweatiest day of the year, that’s what.

I’ve never roasted a pig before. I’ve been to one and assisted in babysitting one, so I figured it was about time I cooked one. But not alone — my friend Tyler was eager to jump in and get dirty, and with a garden to boot I had myself a co-host. The BF helped too, something to do with music and dealing with me stress over an 80-lb pig for weeks. We all played our part.

I’ll admit, the logistics of hosting a pig roast made me thankful I wont be doing it again for another year.  There was so much I didn’t account for or didn’t think of, and didn’t realize most of it until too late.

So here’s my gift to you: a 16-step how-to on hosting your own pig roast.

 

Read More

Attack of the Meme: Hipster Ariel on Food and Drink

Fuck being a doctor, president or a flying My Little Pony. All I wanted to be when I grew up was Ariel, the mermaid. Turns out, it would have been a rad choice – Ariel is now a Chuck hi-top wearing, PBR drinking, music snob hipster. And being a hipster, she clearly owns some outlandish ideas on culinary appropriateness. Here”s the best of Hipster Ariel, from casino Fuck Yeah Hipster Ariel, on food and drink.

5. Not Something to Brag About


(Photo: teenage lobotomy)

4. Utensils Are Too Conventional


(Photo: Fuck Yeah Hipster Ariel)

Read More