This past weekend my coworker threw a birthday party for her two-year-old son. Earlier in the week we spent some time finding invitations (um, am I the only one who’s never heard of the Backyardigans?) and more importantly, figuring out food. It was a 2pm party, which is kinda an awkward time.

How many meals have you had by 2pm on a Saturday? Would you have eaten breakfast? Breakfast and lunch? Lunch? Brunch? Nothing?

Exactly.

Also, what would you expect food-wise for a 2pm child’s birthday party? Just chips? Sandwiches? Just cake?

My coworker decided on bite-size, semi-substantial fare. Whatever that means. Well, actually, I can tell you exactly what it means: Chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-A, burger sliders (very impressed she found mini-potato rolls), waffle fries (frozen), spinach and artichoke dip (with pita chips and tortilla chips) and some party punch thing where she dumped a bucket of sherbet-like stuff into a bowl with Sprite. Oh, and of course cake (with Backyardigan decorations) and little ice cream cups.

We also wanted to serve a more grown-up side. That’s where I came in. She initially thought of a pasta salad type dish, but wanted something a bit different. Couscous! Still a side, but a bit more refined than pasta salad. Plus, I had a few winter vegetables that would be a much better fit for a grain than for pasta. (I think sweet potato and noodles are a bit much.)

Parsnip, Sweet Potato and Cabbage Couscous Salad

In the most unoriginal sentiment of all time, I really hate doing dishes. Sure, once I get going it’s not all that bad, but dirtying just one more pan is fairly painful. That being said, I used just one pan—three times—for this dish.

I peeled and cubed/quartered one large sweet potato and one parsnip. I only had room for one vegetable at a time, so I let each cook with oil, salt and pepper until they were soft and browned. Then in the same pan I cooked down some cabbage and garlic, with oil, salt and pepper. I also cut up some scallions for freshness and bite.

I found whole wheat couscous in the bulk bins at Yes Organic Market and my crap, couscous is easy to make. I’m not the biggest fan of this tiniest grain. I like plenty of grains better, but because this is so stinkin’ easy too cook, I’ll probably be going in this direction a lot this summer. The whole wheat-ness is a plus, but the no-hands and quick cooking make it especially attractive.

I poured 1 cup of couscous in a large glass bowl, and in following Clotilde’s advice, drizzled a bit of oil on the dried grains. Then I poured in 1 cup of boiling water over top and covered it with plastic wrap. Eleven minutes later I removed the plastic and fluffed it with a fork. Done and done.

While the couscous was “cooking” I crumbed a bunch of feta over the vegetables. Of course this needed cheese!

I mixed together the couscous and the vegetables and feta together and dressed it with a quick mix of oil and ramp vinegar, salt and pepper. But I’m sure you could use any other vinegar, maybe red wine or rice, or a lemon.

Friday
I was wearing a light gray cardigan that reached to mid-thigh. It had two pockets, like most cardigans. These pockets were shallow. I placed my iPhone in one of the pockets. It fell out of my pocket and into the toilet.

Sunday
I was at the farmers market on Sunday, about to buy an Herbs de Provence cheese for my brother’s birthday (Herbs de Provence is our inside joke), and when I looked in my wallet I realized that my debit card was missing.

Tuesday
I was in one of those beer, wine corner grocery stores and was paying for whole wheat pocketless pitas.
Clerk: That’s $3.99
Me: <Handed the clerk a $5 bill>
Clerk: <Handed me $2.01>
Me:<Hmm, I know I’m not quick at subtracting, but why am I getting 2 dollars back? Did I miss hear him. I’ll just put it in my wallet. Wait, you know what, this isn’t right.>
What’d you say the price was?
Clerk: OH! How much did I give you back? It’s $3.99.
Me: <Gave him a dollar back, smiled and left.>

God Damn I Need that Karma. Fuck. I fucking drowned my very best friend and then I lost my only source of money. I didn’t need that dollar. I need some fucking luck.

And before I get to parsnips (again), if anyone knows how to resurrect a water damaged iPhone or figure out how not to pay $450 for a new one – please let me know! gansie@endlessssimmer.com

Let’s get back to that whole wheat pocketless pita.

My friend Vio had friends over for LOST. But more enticing, well, not more enticing, but pretty exciting was that she declared the grill would be on. It was a warm day and we wanted to celebrate the fact that we could be outside and not be cold or be rained on.

I wanted to use the grill, but also use up the very winter time vegetables that occupied my fridge.

Ricotta, Parsnip and Sweet Potato Pita Pizzas

Using the leftover broiled parsnips, I created a creamy base for browned sweet potatoes.

For the “sauce” I blended together: one broiled parsnip, two spoonfuls of ricotta, 5 cloves of garlic (use more garlic than you’re comfortable with, you’ll need the tangy rawness to cut through the sweetness of the root vegetable), 3 stalks of scallions, parm cheese, oil, salt, and pepper. My hand-held blender is getting old and couldn’t slice through the parsnips, so I would do the blending in stages, adding a bit of hot water to get it going. And adding more salt at the end.

Before I got to the parsnip-ricotta mixture, I peeled and diced two small sweet potatoes. I browned them and then let them cook on low heat, tossing the potatoes around every once in a while.

I brought the mixture and the potatoes in two separate containers. 80 put the pitas on the grills to crisp up, then I spread the mixture over the pita and topped it with the diced potatoes.

Did I mention that when I got home from buying the pitas the electricity was out in my apartment building?

Last summer I snagged an invite to a Bon Appetit book signing party for their 770-page Fast Easy Fresh. While juggling Sweetgreen‘s froyo in one hand, a glass of wine in another, and this book in between my arm and my boob, I made my way over to Barbara Fairchild for a signature.  We briefly chatted about my oven’s inability to keep heat and then I was off, lugging this book back to my apartment, wondering where to fit this thick, heavy dead tree.

And that was the last time I touched the book. Until Monday’s dinner. I pulled Bon App and Gourmet’s March 2009 mags, plus this monster.

I had one ingredient in mind: parsnips. Ever since my pizza laced with parsnips, I’ve been wanting to cook them myself. Fast Easy Fresh had one parsnip recipe. It was bullshit.

It told me to peel the parsnips, cut them, season with oil, salt and pepper and roast at 425 for 35 minutes. HOW IS THAT A RECIPE. That is crap. That is not interesting. That is not creative. It is not worthy of half a page. Bon App – I turn to you for inspiration. I could have found this on some generic Cooks.com site.

I roasted them anyway, cut in coins, with the addition of Herbs de Provence. But this was only part of my ad hoc meal. And actually the least important.

Ricotta-ed Spinach with Noodle Onions and Parsnips

The past few months all I want to eat is pasta. I realize that is probably not the best choice. Every. Night. What I like best about eating pasta, okay, not best, but also something I crave, is spinning the noodles around my fork. I just love the act of twirling. Which is funny because in real life I’m so prone to being dizzy that I can’t even ride a Merry-Go-Round. And the Gravitron. Holy shit. I vividly remember puking out strands of pasta from earlier that night after I got off that suction cup spin ride. Ugh.

Anyway, back to the deliciousness of pasta. Or things I could spin around my fork to pretend I’m eating pasta.

I sliced an onion into rounds, leaving them long and thin. I cooked them down, slow and low, with both butter and oil. When the onions were crazy soft, I tossed in 5 chopped garlic cloves (more butter) and then roughly chopped fresh spinach. Once wilted I seasoned it all with salt and pepper and then added in two large spoonfuls of ricotta, for a creaming effect. This was topped with the herbs de provence roasted parsnips.

Twirl the onions like pasta.

(Happy Birthday, SAG)

I’m cranky. Yea, I’m cranky. That’s what it is. It’s been a cold (but, I have to admit, awesomely snowy) winter. And a long winter. It’s March and I’m still cold.

I haven’t cooked anything worth a fucking dime. And I hate that expression. But it’s true. Sure, I’ve discovered cottage cheese and smoked whitefish, but then what?

Nothing.

I need the summer’s farmers market. I need to be surrounded with tomatoes and eggplants and zucchinis. I need spring.

While the warmth won’t be coming for many more weeks, I did find something to keep me happy about the abundance of root vegetables. And it was at my neighborhood pizza place. I know, weird.

Under fairly-new ownership, Radius has begun to change their menu (tip via Amy Cavanaugh) to reflect the seasons. I’ve always wanted to try to make a butternut squash pizza, but they one-upped me and created:

WINTER PIZZA
celery root puree, toasted pine nuts, parsnips, feta

And as I ran into Katie from We Love DC, we hoped this pie also had mozzarella, which would be the “silent, understood” ingredient in any pizza. It was true. This white pizza contained mozz.

The pizza had a lovely sweetness, the kind that can only yield from something natural. Not like adding Splenda to coffee. Unfortunately, the pine nuts were mostly absent from my bites, but the overall pizza felt warm and filling, but still pleasantly greasy like its cheese-and-marinara cousin.

I’m hoping this catches on and pizza toppings will better reflect their growing climate.  Even better, this has inspired me to leave my toasty apartment and try on that winter farmers market only 2 miles away. I will see you on Sunday, Dupont Circle and I’m bringing my Tupperware.