Top 10 Things I Ate in College That I’ll Never Eat Again

I don’t consider myself a gourmet chef or anything, but I can make some pretty delicious magic happen in the kitchen now and then. I will admit that in the four years I spent away at college, I made some pretty questionable food choices. Often. And not just when I was inebriated, although I will admit that three flaming Dr. Peppers and a few Malibu and pineapples (and possibly a shot of Aftershock from an ice block luge) will lead to some horrifying 2am take-out orders. So this list isn’t comprehensive by a long shot — but I can guaran-freakin-tee you that I won’t be eating any of these things any time soon. Meaning ever, ever again.

10. Bread in a Can

Okay, maybe this one isn’t that bad. I mean, it’s not like I was eating the plain variety, because that would just be gross — I only ate the raisin. With cream cheese. But it’s bread — in a can. The ingredients themselves aren’t that heinous, but the idea of canning bread just seems, kind of, wrong? Okay so maybe I’d eat this one again. After a bottle of Strawberry Hill  (like anyone drank that after 12th grade, pshaw).

9.  Spray Butter

The label is misleading — show me one person who actually has a hard time believing this isn’t butter. But you’ve got to make choices in life. If you want to avoid gaining the dreaded “freshman 15,” you can either make healthy choices and eat real food, or go with hydrogenated spray oil masquerading as butter to save some calories. Or cut out the alcohol and eat actual butter. Either way. This is best when sprayed on some Light Wonder Bread with a slice of  Kraft Singles Fat-Free American “cheese” and then nuked in the microwave for 10 seconds to make a lovely “light grilled cheese sandwich.”

 8. Congealed Nachos

Fast food nachos are all fine and well, I’m not saying I’d never eat them again (because I totally would). I’d just never eat them 3 days after their inception, cold and congealed in a Styrofoam container dug out of the back of the fridge. Because money’s tight. Meaning you’re out of cash and the credit card machine at the pizza joint is down so you can’t use mom’s Visa. My nachos of choice were from Freebirds (no BBQ sauce!), so they definitely qualified as delicious before their demise. An empty jar of leftover pickle juice makes a great complimentary beverage here. (photo by Newbirth35)

7. Copiously Frosted Fast Food Desserts (Choose Your Poison)

Cinnabon® rolls, Dunkin’ Donuts fritters, Winchell’s donuts – choose your poison. Sometimes a tooth-achingly sweet, gooey confection is in order — when you’re downing 3 cups of coffee an hour to pull an all-nighter studying, you just need the sugar rush. And the trans-fat. My artery-clogger of choice was Woodstock’s Cinnabread – basically a cinnamon roll on pizza dough, slathered in frosting and served with an additional cup of frosting to dip into. This doesn’t fall into the “That’s so gross I can’t believe I ate that” category, more in the “How did I eat that regularly and not have a coronary?” category. Because this 18-year-old wasn’t too familiar with the term “moderation.” (photo by hullam)

6. Frozen Broccoli in Canned Cheese Soup

This was a favorite during my “vegetarian” period – a bag of frozen broccoli, nuked in the microwave, topped with a can of Campbell’s Cheddar Cheese Soup. And yes, the ingredients in this one are terrifying. Commonly consumed with a can of Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper.

The Top 5: Ice cream, tacos, and a truly sinful serving of Mac and Cheese

Endless Contests: We Have a Donut Winner!


The donut is already darn near close to the perfect food item, so when we threw down the gauntlet to our readers to come up with the greatest donut combo ever assembled, it was no small task.

The folks at Dunkin” Donuts were running a contest that was a little more closely tethered to reality, and it looks like they came up with some fantastic suggestions that you can vote on in the hopes of seeing them turn up at your local store.  Of course, we loosened the constraints a bit and let you add any ingredient you wanted, and you certainly pokies 88 didn”t disappoint.

Though the thought of a cardamom/vanilla buttermilk donut or a bananas foster version were fantastic, we had to hand it to reader Alex, who took the already indulgent donut and turned it into a cholesterol bomb of epic proportions:

Lightly glazed plain donut (whole wheat flour? Can you do that? For fiber) filled with creme de brie and homemade, fresh blueberry jam. The glaze is largely for sticking the crushed hazelnut topping to the donut. It’s kind of like a personal-sized baked brie.

Good to see that you worked in the whole wheat “for fiber.”  We wouldn”t want this to be unhealthy.

Congratulations, Alex, a brie donut sounds delicious.  Your $60 Dunkin’ Donuts Gift Card is on its way!

(Photo: wader)

Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

bacon donut

dad gansie is not buying this crazy avocado story:

Come on SS. Are you pulling our legs?? Yea, some Rock hard ones have lasted for a few weeks, never 6-7. Try the kale cover again. Maybe you’ll be a new famous inventor.

Guess that one is still a mystery.

Alex takes an early lead in the craziest donut contest:

Read More

Endless Contests: Time to Make the Donuts


Yes, we’re already running our cute-baby-with-food contest.  But what about those of us who don’t have kids? Or just don’t have attractive kids? Never fear — ES, along with our favorite guilty pleasure, Dunkin’ Donuts, has a contest just for you.

For the second year in a row, DD is allowing the public to create a brand new donut from a variety of doughs, fillings and toppings on their web site. Entrants will have a chance to win $12,000 and to have your designer donut sold at Dunkin’ Donuts stores around the country.

Now, we realize the DD contest will be hard for you ESers because they’ve inexplicably left off ingredients like 100% pure cocoa powder and basil-infused truffle oil. Or even bacon. WTF! Well, when you’re done making your Dunkin’ Donut, it’s time to get even crazier and design The Endless Simmer Donut.

What ingredients would make up the donut of your wildest dreams? Feel free to indulge your inner gourmet by using some more…non-conventional ingredients along with the usual donut trappings. Want to add a sweet potato filling or foie gras mousse to your glazed dount?  Have at it. Style points will be given for creativity. Paste your dream donut combo in the comments below or fire up an email to

While we don’t have another 12 grand for you, our winning ES donut-maker will be taking home a $60 Dunkin’ Donuts Gift Card. We’ll be picking the cream of the crop and then a special guest judge will decide who takes home that prize.  The contests — both ours and the big one — end on March 8th, so get cooking!

Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

I’m with you. No one wants to be drumming on a keyboard and sweatily gripping on a mouse the Friday afternoon before a holiday weekend.

So before you log off and dive into a three day feast of grilled meats, here’s how ESers kept us busy and laughing and thinking about grammitcal correctness.

But real quick, the results are in. Check out the winners in our crazy-grill-it contest.

And fine, one more thing, check out the Endless Simmer love in Melissa McCart‘s WaPo article on mini-grills.

Happy grill season everyone!

Carb Love
TVFF glorified refined carbohydrates in his post about Domino’s new *Bread Bowl Pasta*.

But, LC was able to see beyond the cheesey goodness and the nonsensical tag line:

Also, is it me or does “pasta so good you’ll devour the bowl” make no sense whatsoever. The bowl isn’t made out of pasta. And if the pasta is so good wouldn’t you want more…pasta?

More quotables post jump

Read More