So after doing extensive research for an up-coming blog post involving whiskey with a couple of friends who own a medical marijuana dispensary, I was on my way home when, for some unexplained reason, I had a sudden urge to consume multiple packages of Hostess Twinkies. Maybe it was spawned from recent reports announcing their soon demise (or perhaps I just had a sweet tooth), but I was suddenly jonesin’ for some serious sponge cake face time. Luckily for me (and those around me), I was not driving but had a sympathetic chauffeur who gladly pulled into the next 7-Eleven in order to shut me up, as well as to record my drunken, zombie-like stagger into the store on his iPhone.
While at the cake and cookie display I found that indeed the Hostess Twinkies were no longer being stocked. In its place was the ‘Cloud Cake’ made by Little Debbie which looked to be a Twinkie clone. I encountered two young skateboard enthusiasts who were eating out of opened packages of cherry pies and mini donuts. They had blazing red slits for eyes and looked to be in a mild state of euphoria as I reached across them and grabbed a box of those golden crème filled delights. “Dude, those are awesome!” said the taller of the two. “You’re gonna be soooo stoked!”
I thanked him for his support, paid for my treasures and then treated my chauffeur to a YouTube-worthy clip of me face planting after tripping over a parking curb. Thirty minutes later I was alone in my kitchen and just about to sample one of the Cloud Cakes when I noticed that on my counter was a large bag of un-used limes. For some reason a key lime pie also sounded like something that would taste really good at this moment and I realized that I had all the ingredients. I decided that now would be a good time to make that pie since I needed something to keep my hands busy as I was desperately trying to regain sobriety. I un-wrapped my first pack of Twinkies, eh…Cloud Cake, and then went to the freezer and pulled out my store-bought, pre-made deep-dish pie crust. And just as I was about to take my first bite of that bright yellow love log, it slipped out of my hand and fell into the pie tin. Suddenly, there was a bright light and the sound of angels singing! The room began to slowly spin and the music started to intensify! Could this be a sign from above?
Nah, I was pretty wasted. So I thought I’d combine the two and this is what I came up with.