Herman Cain

Maybe it didn’t work out in the end, but you have to admit, there’s something admirable about a man who isn’t afraid to say that running the nation’s 36th best pizza chain qualifies you to run for president. In fact, there isn’t much at all Herman Cain is afraid to say. In a world where presidential politicians deep-throat corn dogs in public and then retreat to their campaign bus for lobster thermidor, it was refreshing to have an honest eater in the race, at least for awhile. Herman Cain wasn’t afraid to sing about his love for crappy fast food, or to declare that only sissy men put vegetables on their pizza. He wasn’t afraid to eat chicken wings win Michele Bachmann, or to propse that poor people don’t need food stamps because they can just buy used food. How is this man not already eater-in-chief? Just hope he never asks you to dinner. (Photo: Broward Palm Beach New Times)

Epic Meal Time

We can all acknowledge that the Food Network is pure shite nowadays, and there hasn’t been a food show worth watching since Cookin’ with Coolio. What the teevee execs don’t seem to get is that Americans don’t want 30 minute meals or cutesy casserole recipes. We want WORLD RECORD BREAKING FOOD.

Enter Epic Meal Time, the web TV show that ate all of the other web TV shows and then burped them up. Fancy an 84-egg sandwich? Meatloaf made out of McDonald’s? A Christmas tree crafted from bacon? EMT’s outrageous creations make state fair food look like a tea party hosted by Gwyneth Paltrow, and we just can’t look away. The ultra-American eaters dirty little secret? They’re Canadian.

The Lawrence/Julie & Julia Project

When Julia Child said she was going to use television to teach Americans how to cook French cuisine properly, people laughed at her, but she became a foodie legend. When Julie Powell said she was going to cook every recipe in Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking and record it all on something called a weblog, people just thought she was weird, but she became a blog-to-book-to-big-screen phenomenon. When college student Lawrence Dai decided he was going to watch Julie & Julia every day for a year, people immediately realized he was a genius. Yes, the Lawrence/Julie & Julia Project had all the hallmarks of a jokey web project that wouldn’t last more than 15 minutes, but Lawrence actually did it, watching J&J a full 365 times, and firmly proving that online journalism does indeed have a purpose.

Courtney Stodden

We can’t remember exactly why this 17-year-old sexpot is famous; whether she’s an actress, singer, model or (more likely) just a professional famous person. But we sure are glad she tells us about every meal she eats via her 78,000-follower Twitter feed:

Preparing the most pleasant plate of pasta in absolutely nothing but my plush peek ‘a boo panties! Mmm… it tastes like perfection! XOs

Tenderly trembling my tantalizing tongue up – down – & all around the sugarcoated candy-cane of Christmas! XOs

My dangerously desirous hunger is sweetly appetizing for a hot soppy cream-cone that fluently overflows w/nothing but ssslippery excitement!

In the kitchen whipping up some syrupy splits before bouncing into bed for a sweet & finger-licking night! Yummm! ;-x

Wow. Has alliteration ever been so attractive? Are we going to be added to some kind of federal watch list for navigating to this twitter feed? Does this Courtney person have a ghost tweeter, and if so, has any writer ever had a more embarrassing job? And why hasn’t any Hollywood genius teamed Courtney up with Kendra Wilkinson and given them their own soft core cooking show yet? Guaranteed hit.

U.S. Congress

Right now in America, there is a dangerous cabal of communist jihadist hippies who are intent on prying the freedom fries right out of your children’s innocent little fingers and force-feeding them copious servings of whole grains and leafy greens instead. Fortunately, we still have a government here that stands for something, and the U.S. Congress is not going to just sit there and let these lunchtime intruders replace little Jimmy and Suzy’s hash browns with moldy old spinach leaves. This is America, goddammit, and there’s a reason why Herman Cain doesn’t put vegetables on his pizza. Because pizza is a vegetable. (Photo: Quickmeme)

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There are plenty of controversies in the food world, but one thing pretty much everyone agrees on (except maybe Sarah Palin), is that the proliferation of local and seasonal ingredients on restaurant menus is a good thing. Even if you don’t care about counting carbon miles, it’s hard to deny that vegetables grown nearby and eaten in the correct season just taste better. Even if you love McDonald’s, it’s difficult to not be at least a little grossed out by factory-farmed meat. So every foodie should be excited that the farm-to-table ethos has expanded from homey, reclaimed-wood-paneled spots in places like Brooklyn and Portland to restaurants run by some of the nation’s most celebrated chefs. Right?

Maybe not.

I recently ate at ABC Kitchen, Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s vegetable-centric, farm-to-table restaurant in Manhattan. Now when I say farm-to-table, I mean outrageously, over-the-top, down-to-the-tiniest detail farm-to-table. There is the requisite rooftop garden growing the eatery’s herbs, and everything down to the soy-based candles is organic. The tables themselves are made from salvaged northeastern woods. Decor consists of discarded tree branches and photos from local artists who understand how to put a bird on it. The menu has two sides: the first lists the dishes, while the flipside relates where every single ingredient is from. And we’re not just talking about sourcing the fish and the tomatoes. Literally every ingredient is accounted for. Thinking about ordering the pretzel-dusted calamari but need to know which artisan pretzel establishment makes the pretzels that generate the dust? They’ve got you covered.

The approach has won JGV no shortage of acclaim. The James Beard Foundation called ABC Kitchen the best new restaurant of the year and plenty of others agree. I suppose as someone who believes in farm-to-table I should be happy about this. On one level, it’s cool that one of the world’s most acclaimed chefs has taken a break from perfectly-executed scallops to serve rustic pizzas with unevenly-charred crust and lots of dishes topped with slow-cooked farm eggs. But on the other hand, it kinda feels like Jean-Georges is pulling one over on us. Does he really care about where his ingredients come from, or does he just want the locavores’ dinner money, in addition to the millions he already gets from the fine dining crowd?

The Jean-Georges brand’s motto is “a cuisine to suit every taste,” and that’s just how he’s approaching locavorism — as the hot cuisine of the moment. Not as a principle that all restaurants should embrace, but as a trend — locavore is the new tapas. And if locavore is the new tapas, Jean-Georges is gonna make the most goddamn perfect locavore restaurant in the world. The thing is, I’d be more impressed if Jean-Georges made all of his restaurants 50-percent local than just making one new over-the-top shrine to locavorism, and leaving the rest of his menus as is.

There is no ingredient source list at Jean-George’s other eateries. His sushi spot always has yellowfin tuna in stock. His steakhouse in Vegas serves lobster tail year-round. His southeast Asian concept offers every vegetable that could be found at a farmers’ market…in Bangkok. Now, I’m not a farm-to-table fundamentalist. I don’t think every restaurant in New York has to serve only butternut squash and beets all winter. I like eating mangoes and Kobe beef as much as the next east coast elitist. But I do think we’d be better off if every restaurant considered which of their menu items could be made more local. What I don’t like is when farm-to-table is approached as a trendy cuisine, like sushi or steakhouse, that a celebrity chef can do at one restaurant and then completely ignore at all of his other places.

I had a similar reaction when dining recently at another famous chef’s new farm-to-table spot. Jose Garces — the Philly chef who has already mastered tapas, Mexican, Asian-Latin fusion and more — and now is doing modern American, locally-sourced share plates at JG Domestic. Like my Endless Simmer brethren, I had to admit the food was delicious and I enjoyed everything on the seasonally-appropriate menu, particularly that Hudson Valley Potted Duck, served in an appropriately hipster-fied mason jar. But something about the restaurant felt not quite right. It didn’t feel anything like true farm-to-table spots, places like The Farm and Fisherman or The Herb Farm, where hard-working chef-owners are waking up every morning and thinking about what they can do with that day’s farmers market finds. It felt like a place where an already-wealthy celebrity chef is cashing in on the latest trend, a place that might still be locavore next year, but just as likely might be converted into a Filipino gastropub or a gourmet grilled cheese shop or whatever is hot in 2012.

So yes, it is a good thing that farm-to-table has gone mainstream. But as Bill Maher would say, new rule: if you’re a celebrity chef, you’re not allowed to open a locavore-themed restaurant unless you’re going to at least try to incorporate locavore principles into your existing restaurants.

(Photo: ABC Kitchen)

Looks like the #Occupy gang recently turned on celebs in the well-titled #OccupyHollywood. Of course, the oft-mocked Gwyneth Paltrow couldn’t escape the ire of protesters, er, eh, bloggers. But seriously, if you could afford to put a wood-burning oven in your backyard, wouldn’t you? Could you imagine those awesome dinner parties with intensely smoked veggies and fish and meats and entire cakes made out of s’mores?!

Check out the rest of the overpaid, morally corrupt celebs, especially Mr. Ambiguous Anderson Cooper. Because, as Harvey Milk, said, and I’m paraphrasing here, the more people that come out, the better.

And to keep the convo off food, check it: Will Smith keeps it real.

(Photo: But You’re Like Really Pretty)

Mr. and Mrs. O still get points for all their D.C. burger eating adventures, but Herman Cain just took a BIG lead in the race for the coveted Endless Simmer presidential endorsement.

It’s no secret that we ES-ers are all for locally sourced, minimally processed food. You may remember forkitude’s post about how big food conglomerates have an outsize say in what America eats. Clearly, we’re wringing our collective hands about such things. But apparently, not everyone agrees. I had an interesting conversation on this matter last week and received the surprising response that I was anti-business and a “borderline hippie.” I find it interesting how divergent food views have become and how efforts at improving the quality of food are often ridiculed or even worse, politicized.

Surprisingly, it appears our government may actually be listening. The US Department of Justice and the USDA recently convened a series of public workshops exploring corporate concentration and competition in food and agriculture. The five meetings, led by Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack and U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, included discussions about the dairy, poultry and livestock industries and how corporate food is affecting small farmers and consumers.

While we do not know yet if these meetings will yield any real change, it was impressive to see how many small farm and community groups made sure they were heard. The big industry voices were not present, but that may be because they can relay their opinions through other channels (like lobbyists). Here are a few of the topics touched upon:

- Meat conglomerates are getting bigger and bigger. In 2007, Smithfield quietly took over Premium Standard Farms in a merger that combined the largest and second largest hog producers in the world. That merger left 2,500 independent hog producers with just one regional buyer for their animals — Smithfield, whose practices have been questionable to say the least.

- Seed prices overall have increased by a whopping 146% in the past 10 years. As an example, one company actually controls 93% of all soybean sales, so the majority of farmers must deal with this company regardless of price or other objections.

- An antitrust suit was filed against Dallas’ Dean Foods after their purchase of rivals gave them an almost 60% control of the dairy market in numerous states. That suit was quickly quelled with a $30 million dollar settlement.

There are many more stories like these, but the hearings give us some hope that the federal government is at least listening. At one, a poultry farmer was concerned that he and others would deal with considerable backlash from Big Meat solely for being part of the hearings. In response to the farmer’s concerns, the assistant AG for antitrust first spoke about how important the hearings were to her and her staff and proceeded to provide her telephone number with the insistence that the farmer call should trouble arise from his or anyone else’s testimony. These hearings definitely weren’t an end to such debates but at least they’re a start…It’ll be interesting to see what comes next.

Feed Us Back: What do you think is the most needed change in the “Big Food” system? Do you think the USDA will actually do anything? Or are you fine with Big Meat and Dairy the way it is?

And the nominees are…

Ruth Bourdain

Like everything we love, the original concept behind Ruth Bourdain was equal parts preposterous and ingenuous. Take the earnest, life-affirming tweets of Gourmet (RIP) editor Ruth Reichl and spice them up with the gutter mouth of 2007 Eater of the Year Anthony Bourdain. The result is a 20,000-follower twitter feed that reeled off some of the year’s most prescient foodie thoughts, from “I’m all for grass-fed cows, so long as they don’t eat my stash,” to “If I read another food trend list, I’m going to drink a beer cocktail, hijack a food truck, and drive a cupcake up your bacon-infused ass.” The gag grew into a daily project that soon spawned a Ruth Bourdain advice column and even caught the attention of Reichl and Bourdain themselves, who both profess to love it. Tony Bourdain says he has a suspect as to who the mystery writer is, but for now the real identity of this tweeting eater remains deliciously secret. (Any guesses?)

The Michelin Man

In an era when everyone swears the professional critic is dead and the new arbiters of taste are none other than you and I, the 2006 announcement that France’s most venerable restaurant reviewers would expand into the United States was met with a chorus of skepticism. This was, after all, the same year Time magazine declared YOU the person of the year. Who cares what the snooty writers from some 100-year-old French guidebook think when I can just read my own reviews on Yelp? The answer apparently, is everybody. In just four years, The Michelin Guide has defied the conventional wisdom of the Internet age and become the most respected restaurant review in North America (as it already was in Europe and Japan). The guidebooks’ results are reported not just on the food pages but in the main section of newspapers as genuine national news stories; the country’s most celebrated chefs pace all night before new ratings are released; and the designation of a shiny star from the Michelin Man has made neighborhood cooks from Brooklyn to Oakland into instant cheflebrities. Now everyone just wants to know where he’ll go next.

Sid Lerner

In 2003, Mad Man-era advertising guru Sid Lerner turned his back on consumer culture and took up the mantle of sustainability. He partnered with the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health to start Meatless Mondays, a novel initiative that encourages eaters to go without flesh one day a week, thus cutting consumption by 15 percent, lowering greenhouse gasses, helping us all live longer…you know the drill by now. It took a few years, but the Meatless Mondays mantra is now a food world commandment that has changed the way many of us eat. A-list restaurants like Dovetail and Babbo offer meatless menus every Monday; public schools systems and colleges including Yale have embraced the concept; and San Francisco is about two steps away from making meat on Mondays against the law. Thank you Sid Lerner, for giving us a way to feel good about ourselves while still eating bacon 18 times a week.

Professor Mark Haub

No civilization has ever had a more dysfunctional relationship with weight loss than America. Every year or so, we collectively decide what the new way to lose weight is. Don’t eat fat. No, wait — don’t eat carbs. Actually, eat carbs, but only before 10 a.m. Strike that — no carbs, but eat as much meat as you want and only while standing up. Of course, there’s one old-fashioned weight loss method that we never hear much about — just don’t eat so freakin’ much. But could that really work? To prove the relevance of this rather novel theory, Kansas State Professor Mark Haub spent two months eating nothing but crap — specifically, Twinkies and other Hostess/Little Debbie snack cakes. The twist is that he was only allowed to eat 1,800 calories of it a day, making the point that you don’t need some miracle food or fad diet to lose weight — you just need to eat less. Haub lost 27 pounds during two months on the Twinkie diet, and an attentive American audience vowed that each of us would never eat more than 1,800 calories in a day ever again. Nah, I’m just kidding. We shoveled fifty pounds of Twinkies in our face every day and swore we’d sue Mark Haub when we didn’t get skinny.

Sarah Palin

For a few months following the 2008 election, it seemed possible that Miss Wassila 1984 would fade quietly from the national scene and head back to a simple life of moose chili cook-offs. But that was not to be. Fortunately for freedom-loving foodies everywhere, Sarah Palin repositioned herself as the anti-Michelle Obama, anti-Michael Bloomberg food crusader. Wherever there was a seemingly noncontroversial food issue this year, Sarah Palin was around to spice up the argument. The healthy kids act? Not on her watch. Curbing childhood obesity and addressing the rise of diabetes rates? Sounds like a bunch of cookie-hating commie bullshit to Sarah. Whenever foodie elites like the Meatless Mondays crowd started to overreach, Sarah was there to refudiate them with red meat quotes like “If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?” Finally, a politician not afraid to endorse cannibalism. Give ‘em hell, Sarah. (Photo: Momlogic)

Also receiving votes: Gail Simmons, USDA Dairy Management, Sandra Lee, The Lawrence/Julie & Julia Project. Vote for the winner — or write in your own candidate — below.

Previously:
2009 Eater of the Year: This is Why You’re Fat
2008 Eater of the Year: Hezbollah Tofu
2007 Eater of the Year: Anthony Bourdain

The New York Times smacked down the USDA this past weekend. In While Warning About Fat, U.S. Pushes Cheese Sales, Michael Moss insinuates that while the Department of Agriculture urges Americans to choose healthier foods, another arm of the department, Dairy Management, pushes consumption of cheese, aka saturated fat, into Americans’ stomachs.

Food news junkies ran with the story, including bar food expert Scott Reitz, on Young & Hungry, declaring he wanted less cheese on his bacon cheeseburger.

But not so fast! (Although, yes, one slice of cheese should be enough for a burger.)

While there is a connection between the USDA and Dairy Management, it may not be as sinister as NYT claims. Bloggers are continually bashed for being uninformed, unscrupulous non-writers, however, there’s been some deep digging on this side of the internet.

Jon Eick (who used to work on Domino’s social media campaigns; Domino’s cheesy pizza is a key player in the story) takes a step back to debunk the media’s outrage.
On Cheese, the USDA and Domino’s Pizza [So Good]

Craig Goodwin actually makes some phone calls to Dairy Management (which he reports NYT did not) and finds out the weak link between the USDA and the dairy promotions organization.
Newsflash: Dairy Industry Wants You to Eat More Dairy – What’s So Controversial About That [Year of Plenty]

Do you have any insight into this cheese controversy? Do you blindly trust the New York Times? Do you brush off bloggers’ stories? Does the US government secretly want us fat? Are diary farmers to blame for the decline of Americans’ health? How gross is Domino’s? Is cheese the most delicious food on earth and so it doesn’t matter how fattening it is? How many more questions can I ask?

Bloggers, New York Times writers and cheese lovers are all welcome to weigh in.

photo: flickr user turtlemom4bacon

Endless Simmer is projecting that Sandra Lee — aka Andrew Cuomo’s gf — is the new First Lady-elect of the great state of New York. Watch out, Albany! Hope you’re ready for some Kwanzaa Cake.

When in the hell did Buffalo Wild Wings become such an astute political commentator?

Earlier this year, the San Francisco Board of Supervisors passed a resolution officially encouraging local restaurants to adopt the mantra of “Meatless Mondays,” the one-day-a-week-without-meat initiative pushed by such visionaries as Yoko Ono, Kim O’Donnel and gansie. But contrary to what you might think, not all SF chefs are hippie-dippie enviro crusaders who immediately rallied to the cause.

Ben Paula, the executive chef at Hayes Valley neighborhood spot Sauce and a proponent of putting bacon on everything was one who did respond quickly — by adding a Monday night prime rib special to his menu. After dining at Sauce, I can see why. We here at ES support eating local, lowering your meat intake and all the rest of it, but this is one restaurant where I might cry if I returned and they had dropped the pork.

We started with the app you see above, which Chef Ben humbly calls tater tots, but that’s a bit of an undersell. Creamy mashed potatoes are mixed with white truffle oil and cremini mushrooms, then breaded and fried crispy. A tasty snack even for a vegetarian, actually, but I dare anyone not to dip them in the smoked gouda and bacon fondue provided. Personally, I wanted to take a bath in it.

Next up was the mac and cheese, made with a super rich four-cheese sauce and a crispy Gruyere crust. Again, this would be a pretty solid dish for vegetarians, but it’s the juicy bits of ham hock hidden throughout that really take it to the next level.

Fine — here’s one for the veggies — crispy, battered portobello mushroom fries. But just in case you thought we were getting healthy, they’re served with a thick-thick “fat boy” ranch dipping sauce. This was actually the second time in an SF week that I ate portobello fries, previously tasting them at Urban Tavern. Trend alert?

While the theme at Sauce is shared plates, there are also a few entrees, like the juicy fried chicken, which is actually steamed and then just flash-fried for a minute or two so that it gets all the crisp without any of the grease, then topped in gravy and truffled mushrooms.

But here’s what I really love about this city — even the most meat-loving chefs can’t craft a September menu without including some of those beautiful local heirloom tomatoes, served here with roasted corn cut fresh off the cob. It doesn’t even need bacon.

Actually, despite their strong dismissal of the Meatless Mondays mandate, this is one restaurant that approaches meat the way I think it should be treated — as exciting bites to be discovered throughout the dish — a morsel in the mac and cheese, the intense bacon-y flavor of the fondue — rather than just a hunking slab of meat that takes up the whole plate. Of course, you can also go on Monday and try the prime rib — it’s served on a sandwich and topped with that bacon-cheese fondue. Amazing.

Sauce:
131 Gough Street
415.252.1369
www.saucesf.com

(Photos: Sauce)