Endless Simmer - A Food Blog

While you may think star-commenter JoeHoya (or affectionately, JH) may simply spend all of his blog reading time with ES, you’d be shockingly mistaken. JH actually writes for the *rival* food blog, DC Foodies. And as I never really read other food blogs (unless he/she comments on our posts and leaves a link to their blog) I have neglected JH’s hard work elsewhere. So, here, JH - our official ES tribute to our first and favorite non-friend commenter. (Actually, you know what that stinker first wrote on our blog - he corrected a misspelling of mine…) Anyway, enjoy our GOP foe boy, JoeHoya.

Investigative Reporter [JoeHoya]

Disgruntled Cheese Plate Eater [JoeHoya]

Exhaustive Restaurant Critiquer [JoeHoya]

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No, that’s not the skeeziest craigslist roommate ad of all time, it’s merely the submission guidelines for Playboy’s newest themed pictorial “Girls of the Olive Garden.”

And this isn’t a joke, apparently the men’s mag has run out of college conferences to profile and has turned to everyone’s favorite purveyor of free breadsticks to find America’s next top nude model.

The inspiration for the contest is a woman named Kendra Wilkinson, whose illustrious life accomplishments include her roles as one of Hugh Hefner’s pretend girlfriends; and as runner-up to Shar Jackson on MTV’s Celebrity Rap Superstar. Shar Jackson, for the record, is Britney Spears’ ex-husband’s baby mama (and she’s a rap superstar, but you knew that).

And, Kendra’s a blogger! You see, Kendra’s mom is a former Philadelphia Eagles cheerleader and a proud resident of Cherry Hill, New Jersey, which qualifies Kendra to blog about the Eagles.

With the Hef pushing 83, Kendra is apparently pulling the shots over at Playboy, and because she loves the Olive Garden more than life itself, she’s decided to feature their waitresses in a pictorial that is totally not endorsed by the restaurant chain (although NY Post reports they won’t fire their employees if they pose).

After the jump, Kendra explains what it takes to make it as a girl of the O.G.

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I know ES has been heavy on the veggie/vegan train lately (I promise, we’ll get back to our red meat and pig roots) but I couldn’t not post about this redic job requirement: vegetarianism.

San Francisco video-game company, Bigfoot Inc, published this internship description

A vegetarian-owned and managed emerging sports games startup in San Francisco is looking to hire vegetarian software development interns for summer 2008 (and potentially beyond) who are interested in entrepreneurship and promoting vegetarianism.

And as my full-time job demands I promote diversity in the workplace, I cannot advocate for an entire staff full of non-meat eaters.

Quotas can be a good thing.

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By now, you’ve totally heard us *kvetch* that we’re waiting for the day when ES makes it BIG. And when that happens, you’ll surely get recipes that you can use ahead of time, instead of hearing about them after the fact.

Example: I’m going home for Passover this weekend. Not really sure what I’m going to make yet, so unfortunately, I can’t give you great, original ES dishes to try at your family seder. But I will be able to report back, and hopefully give you some inspiration on what kosher food to make for the following days.

So far though, my mom has requested twice-baked potatoes, and I’m thinking I’ll spike mine, SAG’s and DAD GANSIE’s with some wasabi powder. (My mom is the plainest eater in the world, no wasabi for her. Actually, I say she has a “delicate pallet” because that’s the nicest way I can think of to say she won’t eat shit.) I’ve also requested steak for dinner, because it’ll only be the four of us for the first night.

When my aunt’s family comes over for the second seder, we’ll see what group-style meal we come up with - probably turkey or brisket. DAD GANSIE’s a huge proponent of the bird year round. I’ve been asking him to post his turkey soup for a long time now (hint, hint).

Oh, and clearly we’re making matzah ball soup.

Here, though, are some interesting kosher-for-passover recipes:

Fruited Quinoa Salad [Atlanta Journal-Constitution] (via 80P’s Mom)

Matzoh Lasagna [A Mighty Appetite]

Mediterranean Fish Cakes [Culinate, Zena Chew Collection]

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And please, totally send me your Passover suggestions

Photo: Charleston Heston as Moses

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Maybe because 80P is always telling me to keep my voice down, I never notice how loud or quiet a restaurant is - I just scream regardless. But apparently I might be the only person that feels this way. According to a 5-part investigative report by Washington Post food critic Tom Sietsema, noise is the number one complaint about eating out.

He explained the severity through this over-the-top story:

Brown, a 35-year-old senior finance manager at a Washington nonprofit, planned to propose to Rebecca Oser at Central Michel Richard downtown just before Valentine’s Day. Fueled by a few drinks, Brown says, he pulled out a gift-wrapped box containing a sapphire ring from his jacket pocket before the dessert course. It should have been a memorable moment. Instead, Brown found himself competing for Oser’s attention with a bustling open kitchen, CNN anchors on overhead TVs and a conversation at the next table that got louder when another person walked over to say hello.

Despite the distractions, Brown popped the question: Rebecca, will you marry me? He’s not sure if he actually heard the reply, but he got the response he was looking for. Oser, a 29-year-old project director, slipped on the ring and came around the table to sit beside him.

First off, public engagements should be outlawed. You’d think that for this most special of all nights people would want to be in private. I know I don’t want to see a blubbering bride-to-be flashing a diamond around to people she doesn’t know. Get a room! (The best engagement story I’ve heard so far is from my friend, Jules - she was in her sweatpants when Gary proposed! And, she’s letting the bridesmaids sport these gorgeous, absolutely re-wearable dresses! Love you, Jules!)

Anyway, I’d absolutely rather enjoy food in a loud restaurant (my fav place, Bistrot du Coin, was rated the nosiest place in the city!) than in a setting where I have to whisper for fear of everyone hearing my conversation.

When 80 took me to Vidalia for my birthday, we actually both hunched over the table (well, maybe I was hunching because I was hungover) so 80 could whisper to me the details of the previous night’s Happy Hour without completely appalling the neighboring table.

But here, take a look at Tom’s articles and let me know your thoughts on restaurant noise.

• No Appetite for Noise [Cover Story]
• New rating system that will surely fix the problem [Decibel Breakdown]
• Everyone loves lists! [Top 10 Loudest/Quietest DC Restaurants]
• Bring on the complaints [Chat with Tom]
• Nothing’s more fun that watching noise [Video of noise, I shit you not]

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In this installment from the gansie files, you will learn more than you care to know about cherry blossom themed drinks in DC; get the scoop on the grub at the new Nationals Park; discover an appetizer that isn’t fried or breaded; and find out the green-ness of CapHill fav, Sonoma.

Everything Is Cherry: Blossom Beverages [Express]

Ballpark Cuisine [Express]

Adams Morgan Evolution [Express]

Eat Your Greens [Express]

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As we have learned from the current administration, scare tactics work. Apparently there have been some concerns brought up about eating too much soy. So of course people are starting to freak:

Tofu bad?: Is it true that tofu can cause breast cancer? I am worried about that, and also when I am pregnant, should I avoid tofu? As a vegetarian, I eat a fair amount of tofu and am wondering if I should limit my intake of tofu. Thanks!

Kim O’Donnel: the jury is still out on soy. Here’s a link to an article on the controversy. I think everything in moderation is the key. I would also buy organic or locally produced tofu, eliminates the GMO factor. Don’t avoid tofu, but a diverse diet, yes, do that.

But as Ms. KOD confirms from her WaPo chat, soy (just like chocolate and weed**) should be enjoyed in moderation. Americans, of course, over use everything they get their hands on. The article notes that in Japan, soy is consumed in limited amounts, not like the gigantic soy burgers eaten in the U.S. So before all of our veggie friends freak out, keep eating your fake cheese, just do so in a conservative fashion.

**Chocolate and weed were used for emphasis purposes, and not the idea of KOD.

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With all of this talk about Obama’s race speech, the FIFTH fucking year of war in Iraq and the divorce of the cutest Beatle and his model ex-wife, we’ve over looked the *breaking news* of effed up food stories.

- Quick - go back to school. The veterinarian industry will soon have a shortfall of qualified docs to deliver grass-fed food. [Workforce Management]

- Not only are “gays worse than terrorists” but now they’re turning our fish intersexed. [DCist]

- Corporations, tired of the MSM, are trying to own the free-thinking blogosphere. ES will soon reveal our first flirtation with commercial hell. [AP]

Photo: Flick user Pete Rocks

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- Bacon: Making salads unhealthy since 1870. [Not Martha, via So Good]

- Bacon is the new candy. [Bacon Unwrapped]

- Might as well put it in your ice cream too. [Serious Eats]

Photo: Not Martha

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