Let’s Not Choke on These Birds

the gang roasting in the oven

My friend Tucker and I visited some friends in Manhattan a couple of weekends ago. It was a meeting of DC-transplants, as no one seems to settle in this transient city. So while we were all together, and with JH living so close to the Union Square farmers market, we decided to make dinner.

Most of our friends are students, including the gracious host, so we knew we didn’t need to impress — beans on toast would have done! But JH is a stickler for “etiquette” – it had to be seasonal fare with absolutely no repeat dishes. We started planning the menu a few days in advance, with a few options in mind (farmers markets can be unpredictable.)

Our key ingredients were onion, beets, leeks and pheasant. We cooked three pheasants, which we named Judy, Angela and Patrick. Yes, we’re a little loopy.

I mentioned in the comments of a previous posting that I wanted to cook a dish around Jerusalem Artichoke and up until this trip I had never even seen the damn vegetable. Clearly, it was going to be an interesting feat. We named this the “Challenge of the Chosen Choke!”

Dinner to feed ten… See menu after the jump.

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When Life Gives You Pineapples…

Finished Masterpiece

Obviously you have to make sweet and sour sauce to go with it. Not only was my boss headed out of town for the week, but she was kind enough to leave me with her leftover pineapple. Needing to come up with a way to use a large quantity of soon-to-spoil fruity goodness, I turned to my wok for inspiration.

Recipe and more inspiring photos just a click away…

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T.G.I. Super Tuesday

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The former foodie frontrunner wonders what he failed to eat.

The presidential campaign is heading into its biggest day yet, and across the board, the candidates are still ignoring the food vote. We’ve said goodbye to Rudy Giuliani, whose brave attempts to eat his way into power were thwarted when his ill-conceived strategy to bring out the Florida Jews ended in a miserable failure. At least one foodophile is ready to speak the hard truth: he should have gone more Ashkenazi.

Yet the remaining candidates have left this blog’s editorial board uninspired. Seriously people, Thailand has already made history by placing the “Thai Emeril” at the seat of government, is it so much to ask for some statements on your caviar policy? If this keeps up, we may have to start a Draft Bourdain campaign. Or at least Carol Mosely Braun.

While these shortcomings are depressing, we feel compelled to give you a few more updates on the field, given the enormity of today’s contests:

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I Resolve to Stop Resolving

Citrus, Parsley, Bulgur Wheat

I’m sure you noticed, but ES did not take part in any New Year’s resolution crap. Know what 80 and I did New Year’s Day – we sat at a bar and drank, went to dinner and drank, went to another bar and drank, and then went home and drank. There were no salads involved and the only exercise we got was stumbling from place to place.

Sure, I used to make a resolution. Same one every year, in fact – lose ten pounds. I’m old now, though. I’m done resolving. But, as I still live in America, with ab-fucking-surd standards for women, I’m forced to eat right sometimes and work out once in a while.

Pictured above is my first healthy meal of 2008. Recipe is post jump.

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Eastern Market

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It’s cold out. That means a few things here in the nation’s capital: false predictions of snow, networking functions disguised as holiday parties, and the seasonal closing of farmers’ markets. While the first two remain hallmarks of D.C., there is hope for the District foodologist (the term “foodie” is sooo over)—historic Eastern Market (7th and C Sts., open Tues.-Sun.).

When a better part of the South Hall—the area designated for food vendors—burned earlier this year, shoppers were saddened by the loss of both the community dwelling and the delicious crab cakes from the Market Lunch. Luckily, with the help of many devoted advocates, including federal and local elected officials (they can create change!), Eastern Market’s food vendors continue to sell their goods in the newly created East Hall.

The interior of the market conveys a different feel now: The bright white walls, floor, and ceiling of the new structure is in stark contrast to the original dingy-yet-homey atmosphere. Fortunately, much of the food remains the same, with fresh produce and unusual cuts of meat. So while D.C. collectively holds its breath until spring for the rest of the region’s markets to reopen, check out what the Market’s top vendors have to offer in their new digs:

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Too Hungover to Think of a Pun About Chicken

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On my last trip to Chinatown, I picked up a bottle of Sriracha, the tasty red garlic-chili sauce with the rooster on the bottle that is often placed on the table in Chinese and Thai restaurants. It is not to be confused with Sirichi, which is also pretty amazing.

I started out simple, adding the Sriracha to a stir-fry and spicing up some spring rolls with it (more on that another day). Of course, I quickly wanted to do something a little crazier, so I came up with the idea to add Sriracha to a basic breaded chicken recipe that I’ve made before. Pretty easy – just dip chicken breast pieces in milk and then breadcrumbs – saute to brown it and then bake.

This time, I dipped them in Sriracha as well to add a little bonus kick. It worked well, giving the breaded chicken a unique, spicy spin.

Recipe and some more glamor shots after the jump.

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Christmas Balls

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Being a Half-Jew , Half-Catholic (just like Robert DeNiro and Christopher Columbus!), I’ve always taken a rather cavalier attitude towards both Christmas and the High Holidays. Of course, the high point of both revolves around food, whether it’s pink ham or challah bread.

My fellow half-Jew friend Bethany and I recently attended the Beloit College Alumni Matzo Ball Eating Contest at Ben’s Deli in NY. We were both shocked be the yellow-yellow color of their balls – much more colorful than my aunt’s bullion instructions could possibly account for. When pressed, the chef admitted they added yellow food coloring for the extra effect. Why, I don’t know – I personally don’t like my Hanukkah feast to look like urine, but to each his own I guess.

Anyway, it gave us the great idea pictured above and below. Since Hanukkah is already over, we made our matzo balls Christmas-y, with red and green food coloring. I have to admit, Beth was the chef, I was mostly just creative director, and we followed my aunt’s recipe, which worked superbly. Full disclosure: we bypassed the chicken fat, and everything seemed to still work OK. Obviously, ES officially endorses the chicken fat version.

I also made some tasty latkes, following the recipe from the Notorious K.O.D.

Below, the super-colorful balls, cut open, for full effect.

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