BUT! Sometimes I am just embarrassed for this city. Such an incident occurred today when I was out grabbing some groceries at the market near my office. The special of the day:

You guys. YOU GUYSSSSS. I know Seattle isn’t known for its amazing, authentic soul food, but COME ON. Chicken ‘n’ waffles, but the waffles are legit EGGOS wrapped in saran wrap?! A whole box of Eggos costs less than $6.99. This is total pandering to the “southern food trend,” and I don’t like it one bit.

Editor’s Note: With the football post-season kicking into high gear, contributor broadandpattison returns for a retrospective on another year as an Eagles fan…and the tailgating grub that got him through it.

Given that my beloved Eagles seem to have a much different definition of “football” than I do, this year I decided to use my time at Eagles games more wisely. That is, instead of “going to the football game,” I go to the tailgate. It occurred to me at my last tailgate, before the Pats spanked the Birds, that all of the wonderful food I was eating was actually the exact OPPOSITE of the Eagles players I’ve been watching all year. Let’s break it down:

Dish: Bacon, Egg and Cheese……and a Keystone Light
Exact Opposite: Desean Jackson

The Sunday morning breakfast sandwich is about the most reliable food order of all time. It’s Sunday morning, you’re a little hungover, you need grease and substance at the same time….you get a breakfast sandwich. Works every time. It used to be that we could count on Desean for a long touchdown bomb and a totally over-the-top TD dance every game, just like you could count on the breakfast sandwich hitting the spot every Sunday morning. Now? I’m not sure Desean knows when he is playing football.

Dish: Pulled Pork on Brioche
Exact Opposite: Casey Matthews

The pulled pork at the tailgate was juicy, seasoned and delicious. No matter how much you have, you can ALWAYS have one more bite. Casey Matthews? You never want one more play out of him. EVER. No more!!!!! Please stop!!!! (Those emotions never, ever are associated with pulled pork. Ever.)

Dish: Chicken Cutlet, Broccoli Rabe, Sharp Provolone on an Amoroso Roll
Exact Opposite: Juan Castillo and Defensive Coordinator

There hasn’t been a marriage as sturdy, stable and perfect as the chicken cutlet-broccoli rabe-sharp provolone-amoroso since peanut butter and jelly. I mean, these items are PERFECT for each other. They were meant for each other. Juan Castillo and the word “defense” were meant for each other about as much as the Montagues and Capulets. It doesn’t work!!!! How come everyone knew it wouldn’t work but Andy Reid!?!!?!?

Dish: Fried Fish in a Hot Dog Bun with Russian Dressing
Exact Opposite: Nnamdi Asomghnotverygood

That’s right – fried motherfucking fish in a motherfucking hot dog bun with motherfucking Russian dressing. Don’t see it working in a football tailgate, do you? Neither did I. But guess what? It motherfucking works!!!! Delicious. I would have never thought. You know what I was sure of? Certain of, in fact. Nnamdi being a GREAT player! Well, he isn’t.

Finally, I wish I had eaten something as good as Andy Reid is bad. But I’m not sure man has created a dish quite that delectable just yet.

‘Til next year, football eaters.

10. Tater Tot Poutine

Montreal’s greasiest, gravy-iest contribution to the food world, poutine officially became a trend back in 2010. It got even more amazing this year when chef Kyle Bailey of D.C.’s ChurchKey had the ingenious idea to replace the french fries with tater tots.

9. Kouign Amann

We first discovered this over-the-top traditional pastry, which is something like a croissant with twice as much butter and sugar, on a trip to Brittany, France this summer. Returning home, we were pleased to find it blowing up in the states. The best version we’ve tasted to far is the one above, from Starter Bakery in Oakland. It has also popped up at Dominique Ansel in New York and Bouchon Bakery in L.A.

8. Nouveau Filipino

Filipino food is among the most far-out in the world, so it was only a matter of time before it got a hipster update. From Adobo Hobo’s Filipino tacos in San Francisco to Maharlika’s spicy arroz caldo in New York (above), we’ll take all the creative Filipino cuisine we can get.

7. Buffalo Chicken Shake

We’ve always said that Liz Lemon gives the best food advice. What the 30 Rock character couldn’t have known when she spotted a buffalo chicken shake in one episode is that Lunch Blog KC would take her up on the challenge and actually make this in real life. Yes, that’s a shake made with heavy cream, milk, blue cheese, tomato juice, buffalo wing sauce, and Worcestershire sauce. Best enjoyed with a side of cheesy blasters.

 6. Deviled Everything

We shrugged when grandma-style deviled eggs started showing up on hip menus everywhere, but we couldn’t resist when chefs started getting deviled ridiculous, from the crab and caviar deviled eggs at B&O Brasserie in Baltimore (above) to BLT deviled eggs at Jasper’s Corner Tap & Kitchen in San Francisco.

5.Bloody Beet Steak

Beets are just too delicious to always be relegated to salads. Finally someone has created a dish that lets the beet stand alone. The Farm and Fisherman in Philadelphia pan fries its beets under a brick for a nutty, caramelized flavor and juicy texture as bloody as any rare steak.

4. Dirt

Sorry, folks, but the locavore wars are over. Chef Arabelle Meirlaen of Belgium’s Michelin-starred Li Cwerneu now serves the most back-to-the-earth dish possible. Her pot de légumes du moment consists of fresh veggies, herbs and, yes, dirt (kind of). The dirt in question is a product called charbon vegetal active. Chef Meirlaen combines it with sugar, salt and nuts to create the edible, growable soil.

3. Fried Ice Cream Burger

It may come as a shock to Texans, but the most inventive, most American new food at this year’s state fairs had to be the Florida State Fair’s burger with bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickle…and a scoop of cornflake-battered, deep fried ice cream. (Photo: Cheryl Reas)

2. Poptails

If you’ll allow us to be so brash as to toot our own horn for a moment, we have to admit we enjoyed few things more this year than our series on alcoholic popsicles.

1. Foie Gras Jelly Doughnut

California may have banned foie gras, but it is thriving back in Brooklyn, where the country’s craziest chefs — the team behind Do or Dine — had the balls to serve up this pastry. There’s no gimmick or trick here. It’s just a delicious jelly doughnut infused with foie gras, and yes, it’s so crazy that it does work.

(Photo: Niche Food)

Top Recipes from the Most Recent Loser on Top Chef. More Top Chef Recipes.

The cheftestants packed up and moved on last week. Texas is a big place and they’re not going to promote the whole state by staying in one place — so it was time for Dallas, but not before a little theatrics. The Quickfire involved a stop on the highway, courtesy of a burly state trooper, to cook a dish using a campfire burner with very limited ingredients, including canned tuna and chicken. Delightful. The chefs got a reward in the elimination, cooking for some of Dallas’ high society folks; it’s true, they exist.

But who packed their bags and gave ES a recipe from their personal collection?

Chicken with Green Pipian and White Rice by Chuy Valencia

1 whole chicken, about 3lbs
2.5lbs tomatillos, husked and rinsed
1 large white onion
1/2 head of garlic
2 cups pumpkin seeds
3 poblano chiles
3 serrano chiles
1 sprig epazote
1 tsp oergano
1 tsp cumin
small bunch of cilantro
2 cups of rice
salt and pepper
vegetable oil

Chicken

Cut the chicken into 10 pieces by separating the drumstick from thigh, then taking the wings off. Platform the chicken on one end and cut down vertically along the sides of the spinal column to separate the bone. Using your thumbs, press the solar plexus of the chicken so the cartilage between the breasts disconnects in one piece as well as the breastbone. Separate the breast into two pieces lengthwise with the bone and all, then split them crosswise — this helps keep the breast juicy during cooking. Save the spare chicken bones. Season all the pieces liberally with salt and pepper on both sides. Heat a large skillet over medium high heat and pour in ½ cup of vegetable oil. Fry all the pieces, skin side down first, for about 3 minutes on each side or just until gold and crisp. They don’t need to be cooked through at all, just seared and put aside to cool. Place the leftover bones in a small sauce pot with ¾ of a gallon of water and simmer for about 40 minutes….we’ll call this instant chicken stock, strain and set aside.

Pipian

Place tomatillos, ½ of the white onion chopped in medium pieces, and four cloves of garlic on a flat sheet tray and place under your oven’s broiler for about 15 minutes or until charred and softened. Roast the poblanos over an open flame as to char them on all sides, place them in a plastic bag so they steam for about 5 minutes, then remove from the bag. With a towel, rub off the charred thin skin from the poblanos and, using a small knife, remove the stems. Heat a small skillet on high heat and with no oil toast the Serrano chiles until charred, set aside. In the same hot, dry skillet toast the pumpkin seeds, moving frequently until they blister slightly and feel crunchy to the bite. Lastly, in the same dry, hot skillet toss in the oregano and cumin for only a few seconds so the aroma is released; set aside. Place the tomatillos, onions, garlic, serranos, poblanos, pumpkin seeds, cumin, oregano and epazote in a blender with just a little bit of chicken stock to cover. Blend the sauce mixture for about 5-10 minutes until it feels very smooth and almost creamy. Strain into a sauce pot and simmer for 20 minutes, removing with a ladle any foam that accumulates. Look for a slightly thickened sauce consistency and season to taste. Keep the sauce simmering and now add the chicken to the pot, stir to combine but do not over agitate. Cook the chicken in the pipian until done to the bone.

Rice

Finely dice the other half of the white onion and mince two cloves of garlic. In a wide sauce pot, heat 3 tbsp of oil over medium heat and begin to fry the rice, stirring frequently until opaque. Once opaque, add the onion and garlic and cook until slightly translucent. Add 1qt of the chicken stock and stir, bring to a boil then simmer and cover over very low heat for 20 minutes until the rice is cooked through but not mushy.

To Serve

Place a bed of rice on a plate, serve a piece of chicken over and ladle the sauce generously over. Garnish with diced avocado, chopped cilantro and toasted pumpkin seeds.

Serves 4

(Photo: Bravo TV)

Lots of wine, lots of friends, lots of food… what can be better than a big dinner party? Being the convivial hostess that I am, I’m constantly gathering friends together for festive meals. I love experimenting with new dishes and ingredients, but sometimes I’m looking for a reliable go-to recipe — especially when I’ve gotten a bit ambitious with my guest count. In scenarios like this, I have an easy pasta recipe I’ve perfected over the years that guarantees dinner party success. Every time I make this I receive nothing but rave reviews. Not trying to brag, y’all, I’m just being honest.

If you’re having a load of guests over for the holiday season, give yourself a break and make a gigantic pot of this rigatoni with gorgonzola and sun-dried tomatoes. It’s simple and quick to put together, but the flavor is richly layered, and the vibrant colors of the tomatoes and basil lend a lively aesthetic to the dish.

My original recipe calls for meat, but I’ve also made a veg-friendly version. My friend Joe threw a dinner party to celebrate his birthday awhile back, and my gift to him was my exquisite cooking (of course!) One issue: pesky Joe is a vegetarian, so I had to modify my ingredients. Luckily, it was easy enough to substitute mushrooms, making the pasta just as satisfying as the original version.

The following recipe can be followed pretty loosely — be liberal with the sauce ingredients according to taste. Make the original meaty recipe or follow the substitutions in italics for the vegetarian version. For those feeling extra indulgent, feel free to add ingredients from both. Nothing wrong with that.

Sun-Dried Tomato & Gorgonzola Pasta
Makes 4 servings. I often double this.

1/2c oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes
4tbsp oil from sun-dried tomatoes
2 skinless chicken breasts (veg: portobello mushrooms), cut into chunks
1lb rigatoni pasta
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 shallot, minced
1/2c chicken broth (veg: vegetable broth, obviously)
1/2c prosciutto, chopped (veg: omit, sadly)
1/2c dry white wine
1/2c cream
1-2c gorgonzola cheese (depending on how much you love cheese! So for me, 2 cups.)
1/4c pine nuts, toasted
1/2c fresh basil, julienned

Heat about 2tbs of the oil from the sun-dried tomatoes in a large skillet. Add chicken and saute until cooked through. Transfer to a plate and cool.

In the meantime, boil a big pot of heavily salted water. Throw your pasta in and cook until al dente, then drain and set aside.

And in the meantime while doing THAT, heat the remaining sun-dried tomato oil in your skillet on medium high. Add garlic and shallot and sautee for about a minute. Add sun-dried tomatoes, chicken, prosciutto, broth, wine, and cream. Bring to a boil. Stir in your cheese until it melts into the sauce. Everything should be looking and smelling insanely good by this point.

Throw your pasta in a large bowl. Dump your amazing sauce all over and toss together. Top with pine nuts and basil (and more cheese, if you’re feeling daring!) Serve immediately to the hungry masses.

What’s your go-to dinner party recipe?

(Photo: Kochtopf)

But… BUT…

There is one item that stands above the rest. I’m not even saying it outshines everything at JG Domestic, I’m saying it outshines almost any meat-based appetizer I have ever eaten. And trust me, there have been a bounty of them in my years as an insatiable epicure.

Allow me to introduce you to the Hudson Valley Potted Duck with foie gras mousse and orange gelée, served with cornichons and crostini.

One of our friends from Philly Homegrown, Alethia, had highly recommended the potted duck. Never a bunch to turn down the opportunity to spread some fatty meat on bread, we were more than happy to order a couple for the table. What’s in that little mason jar? Heaven. Heaven in duck fat form. I honestly cannot think of any family-friendly ways to describe what I want to do to this dish. I’ve tried to think of an unpornographic way to relate its decadent mouthfeel and flavor, but… I have deemed it impossible.

I will say that this duck is so rich that we needed a lot more crostini to finish the pot. After we requested this from our server, I sat anxiously, my eyes fixated on the half-full jar, greedily praying that nobody else would hog the remnants of the jar before I got my hands on the bread. All it takes is a little foie gras to turn me from a sophisticated diner into a ruthless glutton.

After the glorious Potted Duck experience, we moved onto myriad more dishes, including inventive plates such as New Jersey Soft Shell Crab with Heirloom Tomato and Black Garlic…

Oregon chanterelles over Anson Mills polenta…

By the end of our entrees, our table was a beautiful, hot mess of dirty dishes and wine glasses.

A close second in my otherworldly duck experience would have to be our nightcap, the bourbon butterscotch latte and accompanying bourbon beignets with bourbon vanilla mousseline and Maker’s Mark butterscotch for dipping. Too much bourbon? No such thing!

This cup of coffee may look innocent from the outside, but do not be deceived. We will have more on this delicious treat later today…

JG Domestic has an ever-changing menu and we all agreed that despite its location in an office skyscraper, it would be the perfect first date spot. No loss of conversation while poring over the uniquely crafted, seasonal selections… and obviously the potted duck is the perfect aphrodisiac.

JG Domestic is located in the Cira Centre, Ground Floor, 2929 Arch Street. 215-222-2363

The Endless Road Trip: Philadelphia

1. There Will Be Blood…and Beets
2. Soup Dumpling Surprise
3. Cheesesteaks Gone Wild!
4. Duck in a Pot
5. Pretzels, Pretzels Everywhere
6. A Stand-Up Slice
7. Love on the Run
8. A Plate of Cheese and a Pail of Grapes
9. The New Cupcakes
10. Tastykake Taste Test

10. Chocolate Covered Corn Dog – Orange County Fair

Could there be anything more American than dipping a hot dog in batter, deep frying it and eating it off a stick? Why yes, there could be. You could cover it in chocolate and put sprinkles on top, a treat that was found at both the OC Fair and neighboring San Diego County Fair. My Burning Kitchen has more on food at the San Diego fair. (Photo: www.myburningkitchen.com)

9. Deep Fried Kool-Aid – San Diego County Fair

In another strong showing for California’s other great fair — and originator of last year’s hash brown covered hot dog, San Diego debuts what is surely the trashiest food ever conceptualized. It’s just unclear why they didn’t wrap it in bacon. (Photo: Cuttlefish)

8. Deep Fried Butter on a Stick – Iowa State Fair

Texas may have invented deep fried butter at their own fair a few years back, but Iowa thought to put it on a stick. See, America, we can do great things when we work together. Yes, this involves frying an entire stick of butter, and yes, you simply have to watch the video for full effect.

7. Buffalo Chicken in a Flapjack – Texas State Fair

The first of several entries from the Lone Star state, this monstrosity is a chicken strip, coated in pancake batter and jalapeño bread crumbs, then deep fried and…you guessed it — eaten on a stick. (Photo: State Fair of Texas)

6. Red Velvet Funnel Cake – Florida State Fair

Funnel cake has fallen behind on the list of outrageous fair foods recently. After fried beer and fried Coke, plain old fried dough starts to look pale by comparison. But this year we saw funnel cake get a new southern fried twist that injects some new life into it…and probably injects all kinds of chemicals too. Why eat fried dough when you can eat red fried dough? (Photo: Bob B. Brown)

 Next: The Top 5 state fair foods

When life gives you a loaf pan, roast a chicken in it.

Growing up in England nettles were a large part of my childhood, whether I liked it or not — and I generally didn’t. This wretched plant caused many a tear in my household, its stinging leaves leaving immense pain that lasted for hours, with little sympathy from my parents as I was usually up to no good in the garden or local park, causing said sting.

When I saw nettles at the local farmers’ market here in D.C., I jumped at the chance to fight back, to serve justice to this leafy plant once and for all. There’s very little you can actually do with nettles, the most obvious was soup, but in these late spring months it seemed a tad too warm for that. I settled on pesto, a simple and versatile sauce that I could use in many dishes.

We’ve cooked basil brownies and avocado milkshakes, now it’s time for the nettle pesto.

If you buy nettles you will probably do so in a sealed bag, the leaves are covered in mini hairs that release a sting upon touch. To kill off the sting I blanched the nettles in a pot of boiling water for a minute or so, then drained them on paper towels to soak up the excess water. Despite knowing I had killed off the sting by boiling the leaves I still used kitchen tongues to rip the leaves from the stems. I’m a wimp, I know.

For the pesto I used as follows: 2 cups of nettle leaves, 1/2 a cup of olive oil, 2/3 cup toasted walnuts (I refuse to pay the ridiculous price for pine nuts), 1/2 cup parmesan cheese and a pinch of s&p. Blend until a you get a paste, add a little more olive oil should it be too thick.

I spread the pesto on a slice of ciabatta, topped with tomato and grilled chicken for a light summer evening dinner.

One of the first things I ever learned to cook was Stove Top stuffing. When my college roommate and I discovered Stove Top, we could not believe how easy it was to basically replicate the stuffing that our moms took so many hours making on Thanksgiving. Culinary skill-less as we were, even we could figure out how to boil water and butter in a dorm room hot pot, add stuffing mix, and fluff with a fork. Actually, I still haven’t figured out exactly what the last direction means, but I digress.

While I still make Stove Top for a late-night snack now and again, I’ve often wondered why it so rarely shows up as an ingredient, aside from the odd post-Thanksgiving stuffing pizza. But why not? I can think of many a meal that could stand to benefit from a tasty bread-and-butter mixture poured on top. First case in point: shepherd’s pie. While this is one of my childhood favorites, I barely make it myself because it’s such a pain to have to boil and mash potatoes before you even really get started cooking. Of course it’s great if you have leftover potatoes, but…I rarely find myself with leftover anything. So my newly invented version of shepherd’s pie subs out the potatoes and replaces them with a thick coating of stuffing. Give me one good reason why not.

Stove Top Stuffing Shepherd’s Pie

Makes four individual servings.

Dice 1/2 onion and sautee in butter with two diced carrots until onions are golden. Add one pound of ground meat (traditionalists will say beef; I went with leaner turkey; I’m sure lamb would be great, too). Cook until meat is browned.

Add one tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce and one cup beef broth (or match the broth to whatever meat you’re using). Turn down the heat and let this simmer while you prepare four cups of Stove Top stuffing according to the package directions.

Scoop meat mixture into ramekins, Pyrex or cooking vessel of choice. Spread stuffing across the top. Bake at 400 degrees for 25 minutes. Enjoy.

While I was excited about this dish from the moment I conceptualized it, I honestly was afraid I might miss the mash. I didn’t. The crispy, butter-y stuffing worked perfectly as a complement to the meatiness on the bottom, and is just way more exciting than plain old potatoes. Who needs spuds when you’ve got stuffing?

Agree? Write your own blog post about how Stove Top is the un-potato and win $100 from Technorati Media. You can get started by liking Stove Top on facebook to get a free box.

This post is sponsored by Stove Top stuffing. Endless Simmer only accepts sponsored posts from advertisers whose products we really, really do like. Really.