Endless Poptails: Melon Berry Diablo

When someone tells you your food is “interesting,” is that the equivalent of being told you look homely?

It’s a shitty statement to make about someone’s food. And I had a pissed off look to follow after being told my cocktail popsicles were “interesting.” Maybe I’m too defensive—I know food is subjective.  But I still felt like shoving this popsicle in the guy’s face and asking him how interesting that way.

What he labeled interesting was this tequila-based, honeydew-body popsicle, which is  mixed with ginger beer and softly stirred with a raspberry cassis syrup, turning the classic Diablo cocktail into an Endless Simmer Poptail classic that is anything but just  “interesting.”

Melon Berry Diablo Poptail

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Endless Ice Cream: Rose Petal

While not a prevalent flavor in the United States, rose is fairly common elsewhere. Across the Middle East, particularly Iran, it is used to flavor all manner of sweets. Ice cream is the only use of rose in food that I have found palatable. Rose candy tastes like grandma’s perfume to me, and rose scones just taste wrong. But the ice cream gives a nice rounded sweetness that is just right for such a delicate flavor. The rose petals themselves are not really potent enough to stand up to the amount of sugar and cream that ice cream requires, so it’s fleshed out with rose water.

Rose water can be found at most Middle Eastern grocery stores and at specialty stores. The potency of the rose water will vary from brand to brand, so you may want to start of by whisking in one teaspoon at a time until you are satisfied with the flavor. I used Nielson-Massey, which is pretty strong.

Rose petals should be unsprayed, or organic. The best would be from a friend or neighbor, as they would be the freshest. Otherwise try natural foods stores or a florist/nursery specializing in organic flowers.

Rose Petal Ice Cream

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This is What Brunch at Per Se Looks Like

Per Se may be the best restaurant in New York, but it’s also a food blogger’s nightmare: no photos allowed!?! ES Spy Sara Huneke discovered a secret: opt for their $200 brunch instead of dinner, and you’ll have enough natural light flowing in to surreptitiously take drool-worthy smartphone shots.

Red wine-braised heirloom onions, arrowleaf spinach, broccolini, cauliflower, Meyer lemon and preserved horseradish.

Glazed white asparagus, yellow cling peaches, Belgian endive, Pearson Farm’s pecans, sorrel and Australian black winter truffle.

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Carolina Sushi

Collard leaves behaving like nori?  I was pleasantly surprised!

Growing up in the South I’ve become fond of a few standard staples, such as: tomatoes n’ cucumbers swimming in vinegary pools of pleasantries, banana puddin’ in my wife’s belly button, and reclaiming Darwinian fusions in food.  So I’ll embrace my heritage in a way that will make most neighbors cringe: sushi!

This dish comes from an idea that I’ve held onto for some time: “why not combine vinegar-based Carolina barbecue with rice in a sushi delivery system?”  My food muse gave an agreeable smile through her vodka-Kool-Aid-‘stache, whereas my wife was repulsed by the idea.  With the wife and kids away house-sitting for the in-laws this week, I’ve lived what she’s termed a “semi-bachelor week.”  She’s right, I’ve done all those things I don’t get to do: blast classic rawk, leave my socks on the couch, revisit my forsaken porn stash (no longer shall I eighty-six the pics of sixty-nine), play Madden, and watch Tosh.0.  I ran with the opportunity to create these with immunity.  And guess what?  Truth is, I’m miserable without her—talking to an invisible muse makes a man lonely—and I can’t wait to recreate these high-maintenance morsels when she returns.

BBQ Chicken and Collard Green Sushi

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Shouldn’t Work But Does: Hawaiian Pizza Sliders

I’ve been thinking about Hawaiian pizza lately.  How weird is it that pineapple, ham, cheese and tomato sauce would get together and make it work?  It works, though.

So, I cracked my knuckles and did some research on Hawaiian pizza.  Ok, I just went to Wikipedia—whatever.  So apparently it is not a Hawaiian invention and it is the most popular pizza of choice in Australia.  Huh.  Who knew?

I know one thing.  This flavor combo goes beyond pizza.  I have made a Hawaiian pizza grilled cheese that was the bomb-diggity, so I figured it would also be an awesome burger.

It is.

Hawaiian Pizza Chicken Sliders

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Attack of the Meme: Top 10 Food Graphs

10. You forgot leftover pizza!

9. Must stop watching before bed…

 

8. Also, white shirts seem particularly vulnerable

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Cocktail O’Clock: Mango Ginger Margarita

We were on our third day of sightseeing benders in the world of rodent amusement parks when we ventured to “Tomorrow Land”—you know the one, with the gigantic golf-ball housing the “ride of tomorrow” that ends in some California garage? Unfortunately, the early 80’s tech-savvy scene failed to amuse our five-year-old tech genius. Nothing offered here could compete with our PS3 at home, so he decided to take his boredom out on the rest of us. Purely in the interest of self-preservation, I stumbled upon a stand selling mango-ginger-margaritas in China-land. My wife and I enjoyed 3 of these magical libations. (Yes. That’s 3 each.) I recreated these serenity slushies at home with positive results.

Mango Ginger Margarita

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