Endless Simmer - A Food Blog

If it’s a Monday morning in the middle of May, it must be time for Washington Wizards fans to look back on another first-round playoff loss to the Cleveland Cavaliers. As usual, there’s controversy, but this time, it involves food.

Jon over at So Good had tickets to the fateful Game 6 on Saturday night, and of course was on the lookout for any corporate giants to take down, so he was delighted to see Wizards fans wearing shirts that taunted LeBron James for being a crybaby, especially when he realized these shirts were sponsored by Papa John’s Pizza.

Some shrewd marketing pandering by Papa John’s to endear themselves to the quality-pizza-starved Beltway crowd, but unfortunately for the company, it turns out people in Cleveland have both television and the Internet. And they are not happy.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with LeBron James, his status in the state of Ohio is roughly similar to that of Jesus, albeit with less concern about genocide.

Fast forward a few hours, and angry Cavs fans are swearing to never eat at Papa John’s again, the Boycott Papa John’s website is up and running, and the corporate office has been forced to issue an official apology to LeBron Nation, complete with a $10,000 donation to a Cleveland charity and a slash of their prices in the Cleveland area to 23 cents per pizza (pick-up only, those bastards). Of course, if you take into consideration the high-quality ingredients used in Papa John’s pizza, they’re still looking at about a 22 cent profit on each pie.

After the j, check out So Good being interviewed (!) about the controversy on Cleveland television.

• Continue reading or Comments (9)

Let me tell you, getting this shot off was NOT easy.

So 80 and I were walking home from work and we’re just yacking away or whatever, fine, I’m yacking, and all of a sudden I’m screaming, “OMG, that’s totally Andrew Sullivan blogging at Subway!”

I stop dead and make 80 walk past the Subway to double check. And yup, it is. I then pull out my phone to snap a picture, but with no zoom on my cell, I realized I would have to go *inside* to get a picture off.

The plan: 80 would go in, buy chips, I would pretend to check my phone and start snapping away. Well, apparently 80 all of a sudden grows some morals (if they’re growable) since his much-noted celeb sighting and doesn’t want to go through with it. I immediately call BS for back up.

• Continue reading or Comments (5)

Back when there wasn’t a *boy crisis* it used to just be “Take Your Daughters to Work Day.” (”Sons” is now added in there, and as I try to promote equality in all aspects of gender, I do like this updated model.)

On this special day (no school!) I’d switch between my mom’s nursery school class and DAD GANSIE’s own business in Philly every other year. And as much as I loved playing with the three year olds, helping them with crafts, taking them to the bathroom and feeding them snacks (graham crackers!) I felt mighty important at DAD GANSIE’s office.

They would find an empty desk for me, fitted with pens and—sometimes—a typewriter. I would usually draw notes to my mom, then go over to the copier, play with the darkness and lightness, and make about 5 copies for her. I’d also run around, lay on the couch and basically disrupt my dad and his dad while “doing business” on the phone. And in my lovely, I’m the oldest, I’m the best mantra, I would figure out how many pictures on my the wall there were of me versus how many pictures there were of my brother and sister.

But the real highlight of the day was our lunch date at McDonalds.

Growing up, we only were treated to McDonalds on the weekends, and then only once in a while. So a random weekday Mickey Ds lunch totally made the day. I think, and DAD GANSIE correct me if I’m wrong, I would order a plain hamburger, fries and a Coke. Today, if I do go to McD (which I can proudly say that I haven’t been in the year 2008) I would get a Happy Meal with the 4-piece chicken tenders, fries and Coke.

The lovely people at McCormick & Schmick’s let me remember all of these special days when I received their PR push: kids get a free “business meal” when their parents lunch with them at the restaurant. Now I know kids are different these days (Holy shit - did I just say that! How old am I?!?!) but I still bet that a McDonalds meal would beat a shrimp cocktail in their book any day.

Official McCormick & Schmick’s presser after the jump.

• Continue reading or Comments (1)

It’s a slow news week down in D.C., what with the Presidential campaign fully focused on Pennsylvania. So we sent our photo chief, 80 proof, down to National Airport to see if he could spy any celebs eating. In no time at all, 80p caught sight of the Mouth from the South himself, CNN commentator/Clinton family godfather James Carville.

I have to admit I was previously under the impression that Carville only ate fear, but as you can see, he stopped for a pre-flight snack at Einstein Bros. Bagels. But get this - Carville sat down, ate his Einstein Bros., and then immediately got back up and went to get some McDonalds, and ate that. Nice eating, Jimbo!

Don’t forget to send your pics of celebs and near-celebs eating to info@endlesssimmer.com

• Comments (15)

With the NCAA basketball tournament tipping off this afternoon, America’s brightest young minds are poised to spend the next month doing what they do best: getting drunk and yelling at television screens. When all the blood, sweat, tears - and beer - are swept off the court, the nation’s 18 million college students will be left in search of one thing: some grease to soak it all up.

While you were finalizing your bracket picks, Endless Simmer carefully evaluated the tournament field to compile this list of the tournament’s Top 10 Colleges - ranked by the drunk food they have to offer their hungry, hungry students. Eat that, U.S. News and World Report.

10. University of Wisconsin - Mac ‘n Cheese Pizza

Photo: J&J Blog

Oh maaaan, I need some pizza. Cheesy pizza. Mmmm, cheese. No, wait, I want mac and cheese. Oooh! Pizza with mac and cheese on top! That’s what I want.

If you have ever said or heard a statement like this, you are almost certainly a drunk college student. Also, you probably live in Wisconsin.

The Badgers may have been dissed by the selection committee (29-4 can’t get you a no #2 seed??) but Wisconsin never was as good at sports as they are at creative use of cheese. Madison drunks flock to Ian’s Pizza for this gooey, magnificent creation that just couldn’t come from any other state.

9. Rutgers - Fat Darell

Photo: AP

Don Imus’ not-so-favorite team is back in the women’s tourney as a Number 2 seed, while the Rutgers men were sent packing after a miserable season at the bottom of the Big East.

But don’t feel too bad for the Scarlet Knights - they can always console themselves back on campus with a Jersey summer full of Fat Darrells, a behemoth of a sandwich that solves the drunk’s eternal dilemma of “Do I want chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, or French fries?”

The answer: a resounding “all three,” piled high on a sub role and topped off with marinara sauce. I’d tell you more about it but I’m a little short of breath and I feel a painful shooting sensation in my arm.

8. Purdue - The Duane Purvis All-American

Photo: Flick User Horsepj

You can be forgiven if you didn’t know the name of Purdue’s All-American half-back/full-back from their undefeated 1932 football team. But you should damn well know the burger that bears his name.

The Triple XXX Family Restaurant in West Lafayette, Indiana serves up this decidedly unwholesome Boilermaker classic: 100% sirloin patty with lettuce, tomato, pickle, Spanish onions, and….wait for it…peanut butter. Only a drunk or Elvis - perhaps only a drunk Elvis - could fully appreciate this brilliance.

• Continue reading or Comments (45)

You know those Hungry Man commercials. It’s like, oh, only wussies eat salad or whatever. Okay, that was a bad impression, but I think you know what I’m talking about. The whole notion that MEN need a pound of food is sexist and unhealthy. Not to mention completely fucking wrong.

So it was nice to see Men’s Health feature the 20 worst foods found in restaurants, plus suggestions for alternatives. Vanity is in.

Photo: Scritchy Pictures

• Comments (4)

Someone tell this monkey to read ES for tips!

• Comments (3)

Editors Note: I’m sure you all remember our prolific sports correspondent, broadandpattison, from our half-assed football-food contest. First, we apologize for not following through on the contest, but with broad rallying Northern Virginia Democrats and our guiding spirit, The Birds, not inspiring us, the contest dwindled just like Aker’s foot. Hopefully for the next football season, when our readership quadruples, we can try it again. Here is the official ES Super Bowl round-up.

In anticipation of disappointing Super Bowl commercials and an even more miserable match-up……broadandpattison returns.

Before I go into my rant, let me just say this as a disclaimer: the New York Giants deserve to be in the Super Bowl. They played better than any other NFC playoff team down the stretch, simple as that. So what was their recipe? Answer: not sucking. While the national media and other football “experts” continue to praise Eli Manning, the fact of the matter is that he isn’t great, he just stopped sucking. Are our standards for a Super Bowl QB (and #1 draft pick) now simply, not throwing interceptions? That’s it? Really?

Read on for more expert analysis and broad’s checklist on SB parties’ food dos and don’ts

• Continue reading or Comments (0)

This past weekend, the lady and I headed out for a Saturday drive. We made a bee line for Point Lookout, MD, a sentinel’s post overlooking the conflux of the Potomac and Chesapeake. You can’t see across the Bay there, Cherry Island being the nearest land fifteen miles to the East with the actual Eastern Shore a full twenty-four miles away. The Potomac is nearly as broad, the southern end of the river’s mouth, South Point, a whopping eleven miles distant. We were lucky enough to catch a wild snow falling when we arrived, a truly beautiful sight. Anyway, enough about nature, this article’s supposed to be about our lunch.

We were hungry when we left home. We were excited to hit Point Lookout, but our sights (and stomachs) were set squarely on Bear Creek Open Pit BBQ. I read about this place on Jane and Michael Stern’s greasy spoon bible, www.roadfood.com. Stern’s description of the ten foot by ten foot indoor brick pit left no question of where to stop for lunch. It was in plain view when we walked in the door, ten or fifteen pounds of pork slow-cooking on the massive steel grates. My God, it was beautiful. Details on the food postule-jumpule.

• Continue reading or Comments (12)