Endless Simmer - A Food Blog

It’s come to our attention here at ES that despite all these food blogs, there are only so many things a person can actually cook. I mean, it takes a lot of hard work to come up with an original, tasty combination of ingredients, and even when you do, chances are someone’s already thought of it before anyway. Just ask Jessica Seinfeld. So what’s a snarky food blogger to do? Why, judge others of course. On that note we introduce our newest feature: Who Cooked It Better?

Inspired by Us Weekly’s in-depth examination of celebrity costumery, Who Wore It Best? we’ll be browsing the food world each week to bring you a head-to-head match-up in which you, the readers, get to decide Who Cooked It Better?

It’s only fitting that our first culinary clash is a fishfight between the Food Network’s two sultriest chefs. Anyone can wrap a simple broiled scallop in bacon and make it taste pretty great, but not everyone can produce the beautiful succulence that is emitted by Rachael Ray and Giada De Laurentiis on a daily basis.

Pictured in the left-hand corner is the entry from our first cheftestant, the New York-born, former Macy’s candy counter clerk and aspiring queen of all media, Rachael Ray. Thankfully, RayRay resisted the urge to make an entreetizer or stoup this time and went semi-classic with her scallops, which are marinated in Teriyaki sauce, wrapped in thickly-sliced bacon and served on a tantalizing toothpick. Rachael gets creativity points for adding a slice of water chestnut and piece of pickled ginger to each scallop. Full recipe here.

In the right corner is our challenger, Rome-born, Hollywood-raised brand new baby mama Giada De Laurentiis. Giada went for a refreshing take here, blending up a tomato-basil-olive oil rub for her scallops, and kicking it up a notch by wrapping them in prosciutto. These scrumptious shellfish look pretty gushingly gourmet on their bed of fresh arugula, although perhaps a little hard to handle. Full recipe here.

So, dear readers, your thoughts please…

 Loading …

• Comments (13)

While you’re bitching about the pending commercial hell of DC USA—the new shopping center starring Target—and how it will ruin the neighborhood spirit, grab a bite to eat across the street at Logan @ The Heights. Take in the goth interior, reminiscent of a Meatloaf video, as you start in on the mussels, soaked in a creamy sauce and perfect for a bread-soaking session. Skip the fried baby artichokes, as they are oily and served in portions too small to justify the $8.50 price tag; also skip the Southern fried chicken (it’s dry) and the grilled salmon that seems to be served with Aunt Jemima (actually a “citrus-maple sauce”). Sandwiches are where it’s at here: both the burger and the pretend burger—eggplant and Portobella mushroom with feta and sun-dried tomato—are juicy and filling, and served with hand-cut fries.
For: Eating at a local joint before chain-restaurant hysteria sets in.
Entrees: $9-$22. 202-797 -7227. 3314 14th St, NW (Columbia Heights)

Originally in the Onion - AV Club / DC local edition

Photo: Flickr user, otavio_dc

• Comments (4)

With kitschy Alice in Wonderland photos adorning the walls, Madhatter really is a trip into a foreign , underground (literally, it’s in a basement) world–one that’s affordable, and fun in the midst of stuffy and overpriced bars. While the menu stays true to greasy treats (buffalo wings, chicken tenders, and nachos), the Hatter also offers classic salad choices and homey blue-plate specials. Be sure to order the fries, though: they’re surprisingly light and crispy, and don’t even need ketchup. Spend your drunken, after-work hours taking advantage of half-priced appetizers and $2.50 rail, house wine and daily changing beer specials.
For: A less trippy trip to Wonderland.
Entrees: $7-$18. 202-833-1495. 1831 M St, NW (Dupont Circle)

Originally in the Onion - AV Club / DC local edition

• Comments (10)

Eating out Mexican is one of the few true values in New York’s getting-even-more-ridiculous dining scene. Every borough has cheap, genuine, hole-in-the-wall spots like Tulcingo Del Valle in the neighborhood I grew up in.

That’s why I’m supremely disturbed by the emergence of quasi-upscale Mexican restaurants. I’m not saying Mexican people aren’t allowed to be fancy, but um…I still want the cheap, giant portions, of flavorful food. I mean, that’s half the point, right? No one has ever decided on Mexican dinner because they’re not especially hungry. And this fancified Mexcian food scene has brought a truly unwelcome development: chips and salsa that must be paid for. In money. #$!%@!

This will not stand.

Everyone in my new hood, Fort Greene, talks about two Mexican joints: Pequena and Bonita. I’ve eaten at both of these now and they serve decent, if not exciting food that falls short in three crucial aspects:

- Small portions

- Lack of spice

- Served by white people

Basically, everything a Mexican restaurant should not be. Seriously, is this Brooklyn or Kansas? What’s going on here?

But here’s the kicker: both places CHARGE for chips and salsa. This is just untenable. Free chips and salsa is like a golden rule of eating out. It’s half the reason I usually choose Mexican. It is just expected, OK? If I walk into a Mexican restaurant, and don’t get that basket and bowl placed in front of me without laying down an extra $4.50, well, I think you get the point - I won’t be happy. Frank Bruni says an empty wine glass is his version of restaurant hell, well no free chips and salsa is mine.

So I recently ate at a well-reviewed Mexican place in SoHo called Cafe el Portal. This place was pretty cool - teeny underground restaurant, genuine menu, Mexican-owned and operated. Although a little overpriced, it had some crazy dishes I could get behind, like a chile relleno covered in pomegranate seeds. While this inventive menu distracted me for two to three minutes after sitting down, I soon noticed something off. There was just a certain lack of greasiness on my hands and spiciness in my mouth.

• Continue reading or Comments (23)

You know those Hungry Man commercials. It’s like, oh, only wussies eat salad or whatever. Okay, that was a bad impression, but I think you know what I’m talking about. The whole notion that MEN need a pound of food is sexist and unhealthy. Not to mention completely fucking wrong.

So it was nice to see Men’s Health feature the 20 worst foods found in restaurants, plus suggestions for alternatives. Vanity is in.

Photo: Scritchy Pictures

• Comments (4)

Editors Note: I’m sure you all remember our prolific sports correspondent, broadandpattison, from our half-assed football-food contest. First, we apologize for not following through on the contest, but with broad rallying Northern Virginia Democrats and our guiding spirit, The Birds, not inspiring us, the contest dwindled just like Aker’s foot. Hopefully for the next football season, when our readership quadruples, we can try it again. Here is the official ES Super Bowl round-up.

In anticipation of disappointing Super Bowl commercials and an even more miserable match-up……broadandpattison returns.

Before I go into my rant, let me just say this as a disclaimer: the New York Giants deserve to be in the Super Bowl. They played better than any other NFC playoff team down the stretch, simple as that. So what was their recipe? Answer: not sucking. While the national media and other football “experts” continue to praise Eli Manning, the fact of the matter is that he isn’t great, he just stopped sucking. Are our standards for a Super Bowl QB (and #1 draft pick) now simply, not throwing interceptions? That’s it? Really?

Read on for more expert analysis and broad’s checklist on SB parties’ food dos and don’ts

• Continue reading or Comments (0)

As 80 mentioned earlier, we were hit by a barrage of boys from his college days. Playing the role - woman of the household - I deemed it necessary to whip up a quick snack before we got lazy and just ordered pizzas for dinner. I really don’t know why I must create a homemade anything when guests arrive. It’s surely not from my “dogs in a blanket” dad gansie nor my anti-entertaining mom. (Yes, I know it’s usually “pigs in a blanket,” but remember - the gansie household maintains an air of kosherdom.)

Maybe it’s from Barefoot Contessa. Ina constantly hosts guests at her gorgeous Hamptons house, whipping up anything from breakfast bread pudding to Rack of Lamb Persillade. Alright, so I have a bit of work ahead of me. But dips are a start. They really are my favorite thing to make. It’s a game in creativity - what can I throw together from my pantry and fridge that will actually be interesting, delicious and quick.

And, if you haven’t noticed, we added three new categories to our already monstrous list: celebs, sports, and jewish. And because we ended up watching ultimate fighting, mixed martial arts style (or something like that) during the night (and much to the dismay of h diddy and me), I’m tagging this with sports. Actually, I cannot tell a lie, I ended up getting very into the violence and destruction of these poor human beings. Although I’m still not a fan of blood, a “sport” where wrestling, kick boxing, traditional boxing, and more or less, humping, is involved, is something that is so truly terrible that I can just can’t turn away.

Um, back to the dip. Recipe post jump.

• Continue reading or Comments (5)

My brother, sister and I kicked our parents out of the house to throw a small Eagles party. Sure, the Birds didn’t have anything to play for, well, except to break our collective hearts by actually winning a fucking game. Regardless, friends came over to watch, eat and drink. And drink. We were taking shots of Hypnotiq by the time the 4 o’clock games were starting. And I was passed out by 6pm. This is all to say - I don’t really have any pics of the food. Oops.

I made a chipotle, beef and three bean chilli - served with cornbread muffins (from a box, but hey, I never claimed to bake); chickpea, artichoke and roasted red pepper dip - served with pita chips; spinach and cheese stuffed mushrooms; SAG’s homemade spicy pickles; SAG also made a chiptole dip; and we put out some extra sharp cheddar and Emmental cheese with crackers.

BUT, there were some leftovers of the spinach-cheese mixture, so I turned that into an ad hoc spinach and artichoke dip. Recipe for the mushrooms and the dip post jump.

• Continue reading or Comments (8)

(See that beautiful white bowl in the back - it’s courtesy of 80P’s mom.
The thank you note is in the mail!)

Fine. I’m a total fucking homemaker.

Last minute, 80P and I had friends over for the Bengals game before we headed to El and h diddy’s holiday/birthday party. Godforbid I don’t have an appetizer greeting them on their arrival. I assess the contents of the fridge and decide a dip is totally workable. I also have wholewheat pita that I can turn into pita chips. Perfect. I’m turning into Martha Stewart. Well, except for the fact that since I used all of my prep time to cook, I answered the door in my sweats and a t-shirt. And then insulted the beer they brought over. Well, maybe I’m not Martha quite yet.

Post jump: More beautiful pics from 80P and, of course, recipes

• Continue reading or Comments (12)