This Old Hag Climbed Old Rag

80’s work

80 Proof and his coworkers kidnapped me to the Shenandoah Valley out in Virginia and demanded I hike 7 fucking miles for 5 fucking hours, starting at an obscene hour Sunday morning.

This lazy girl was not so psyched about this venture until 80 remembered that we had to pack snacks (clearly I don’t have much hiking experience, therefore, I didn’t come to this conclusion myself.) So as soon as FOOD appeared in the picture, I became ready for my time in the wilderness…here I come Old Rag Mountain.

But, since 80 Proof didn’t tell me about the food aspect until two nights before (and the next day was *MOVING* day, not cooking prep-day) I had 15 minutes in the market, a la Super Market Sweep, because the store was just about to close. I quickly jumped online to figure out some hiking food musts and rolled with that to design my own trailblazing creations.

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Tonic

tonic1.gif

Beware: Only enter hipster hangout Tonic if you’re wearing skinny jeans, canvas sneaks, or a tight, pre-owned T-shirt–otherwise, go eat in Cleveland Park. This long and narrow bar caters to locals with more than a wings-and-burgers menu, but don’t be so enticed with non-bar options that you ignore beef patties with such fun toppings as guacamole and mashed potatoes with gravy, served alongside now-trendy–but delicious–tater tots. If you don’t dig on the meat, the roasted portabella mushroom sandwich and veggie burger will fill your carnivorous void. However, if you’re trying to eliminate a weekend hangover, do not patron Tonic–the service can be aggravatingly slow. For: A front-row view of the hipster life, Napoleon’s tots included.
Entrees: $8-$16. 202-986-7661. 3155 Mt. Pleasant St, NW [SG]
Originally in the Onion / DC local edition / June 14, 2007

Tonic Restaurant Bar and Grill in Washington

Fishin’ For Compliments

jersey shore 
(Ventnor, New Jersey)

Although I really don’t love tuna fish and I can’t stand Jessica Simpson, I do see the need to eat healthful tuna fish every once in a while, especially with beach season in full force.  And keeping with the “health” aspect, mayo performs a disappearing act in this tangy tuna fish salad.   

Dirty Dijon Tuna Fish Salad

Drain liquid from one can of tuna fish and drop in large bowl, add: Dijon mustard, dirty/spicy mustard, prepared horseradish, squirt of lemon juice, sprinkle of mustard seeds, celery saltlemon pepper seasoning salt, minced garlic, dried oregano, chopped scallions and kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper – lots.

Mash together; adjust for personal taste.  I like mine very mustardy.

Scoop mixture over baby spinach leaves, tossed with diced red onion and quartered cherry tomatoes and just a dash of evoo.

When the Herbage Grows Freely

it’s really in there
(The pasta salad is in that red bowl in the back, I swear. Next time I’ll try to take
pics before becoming too drunk.)

When most people think of pasta salad they picture gobs of mayo messiness crossed with a hot and sticky summer afternoon. I did too, therefore, not regrettably stuffing my face with burgers and ‘dogs and chips and pickles at the neighborhood grill session, instead.

But ever since Kim O’Donnel blogged about her mayo-free potato salad, I thought, hey, I can absolutely do that with noodles.

My friends Jeb and Anna (and 3rd roommate Pika!) always throw incredible parties at their house in North Carolina. While 80 Proof and Jeb gossip about the latest Duke basketball recruits, Anna and I hibernate in the kitchen all day creating fantastic fare that ranges from wonderful-when-sober to I-need-to-eat-this-or-I’ll-puke.

They also managed to buy a house where rosemary bushes grow freely all year. And as you can only cook and bake with so much rosemary, Anna now slips the stems into vases around the house (above: see centerpiece of table.) Using their unlimited supply of herbage, I created my own version of a super, simple pasta salad.

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Vulgar Wheat On the Pole

not julie

Julie‘s health food consciousness and willingness to try things like flax seeds, whey protein powder and Magic Bullet frozen fruit concoctions, introduced me to bulgur wheat in salads. I’m a pretty plain salad eater, leaving BS to add silly fruits to his greens mixtures. But, throwing in some nutritious grains really intrigued me. This salad, like Mitt Romney‘s policy ideas, change all the time. V(b)ulgur wheat is pretty much a salad whore, cozying up to any leafy bunch in its path.

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Dupont Italian Kitchen

Fettucini Alfredo
(okay, fine, this isn’t DIK, but it could be)

Fettuccine alfredo is a naughty gem of a dish, and Dupont Italian Kitchen is one of the District’s finest providers, delivering a version that could match any Jersey strip-mall Italian restaurant — swimming in a creamy, yet not too thick, sauce. It’s classic, and perfect, and it’s more or less impossible to leave a noodle on the plate. Don’t want to feel overwhelmingly guilty about the Washington Monument-sized caloric intake? Add broccoli. (You could split the for-two Caesar salad, but, hey, life is short.) Seafood specials such as salmon with mango salsa are good, but if you’re going that route, you might as well cross the Circle to the neighborhood’s fish mecca, Pesce. For: Inhaling so much pasta you’ll be too stuffed for dessert and not even mind.
Entrees: $8-$15. 202-328-3222. 1637 17th St., NW [SG]
Originally in the Onion / DC local edition / June 14, 2007

Photo by xx573v3xx

Dupont Italian Kitchen in Washington

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