Endless Ice Cream: I’ll Take a Waiver with That

No offense to unsightly and my magnitude of sweet loving friends…but I really just don’t like ice cream that much. It hurts my teeth, it gives me a headache from all the sugar, and I feel like vomiting after I eat it every time (lactard). I’m not saying I don’t enjoy it once in awhile, but normally, not what I go for.

HOWEVER. A few weeks ago when I walked by this ice cream shop in Rehoboth Beach, DE while waiting to sober up from lunch at Dogfish Head so I could drive home, I spotted something interesting. Not only does this unsuspecting ice cream place have some weirdly named flavors, but in order to eat Ghost Pepper ice cream, you have to sign a waiver. I’ve had savory ice cream and spicy ice cream before but…waiver worthy? I read the Ghost Pepper ice cream description:

Scorpion Sting ice cream (African Vanilla ice cream, flavored with Cayenne pepper, cinnamon and You Can’t Handle This Hot Sauce, with deep red strawberry ribboned throughout) with Mad Dog 357, Heartbreaking Dawns 1841, and Da’ Bomb Ghost Pepper sauces added. 

GAME ON. I marched up to the counter and ordered two things: a small Ghost Pepper ice cream, and a small Maple Bacon Jack Daniels…because, obviously. The woman asked if I’d ever had the Ghost Pepper before and told me I should probably taste it first. I was kind of rude to her (sorry) when I was like “NO, I JUST WANT IT.” But I knew if I was only given a tasting sample that it could melt by the time I got back to my seat, and…I mean, fuck that. If I’m signing my life away, I’m going to have as much of this shit as I wanted.

After:

Signing the waiver

and putting pig sprinkles on my bacon ice cream (I mean, first things first…)

I finally stared my challenge in the face. Who do you think you are? You look like strawberry swirled vanilla ice cream, but you made ME sign a waiver? I took a bite. For the first few seconds, the flavor was intense and delicious. Strawberry vanilla mixed with very, very delicious peppers. But then the burn.  THE BURN. It didn’t feel like a hot sauce or wasabi burn, it was more like: holy shit I think someone put hydrochloric acid in my food burn. Does my tongue have a hole in it? Are my lips still there? There was pain, and I can’t imagine what this stuff would have done had I eaten more than a few bites.

Even after consuming my entire dish of bacon ice cream, my mouth was still burning all the way back to the car. What’s the point of this shit, anyway? I have a pretty high tolerance for spice, but I guess it’s to just say you did it. Nobody could enjoy this past the burn of the first few bites, I’m sure. Had there been slightly less burn, I may have eaten the entire dish and enjoyed it for more than a few seconds, but whatever. Like most things in my life, I’m glad I didn’t do that sober.