The ES College Drinking Dictionary

The last month was back-to-school time for a lot of college students, including a slew of newly 21-year-olds (and their underage friends with fake IDs), who have infiltrated my favorite neighborhood bar with their mid-week miniskirts and five-inch heels. After my dad told me about a new revolutionary way of taking shots (ice luge) last month, I realized it is my duty to educate parents and elders on what the hell their kids are doing at college, and more importantly, the “cool” terms to use while discussing it:

• shotgun: stabbing a hole in a beer can with a sharp object (usually a house key),  to suck the beer out of it quickly. Best done outside, or if you’re underage, in a bathtub.
• keg stand: hand stand (don’t worry – your friends will hold you up) on top of a keg while drinking out of the spigot.
• bankers: one of the cheapest, drinkable bottom shelf brands of liquor. Sold in plastic jugs. Enjoyed ALWAYS with a mixer of some sort. “Enjoyed” is relative.
• jello shot: jello made with liquor instead of water (or in addition to, depending on strength) spooned out into cups (or cut into jello gigglers) and served at a party.
• beirut: another name for beer pong. Don’t use this.
• civil war: a variation of beer pong that includes three people per team instead of the traditional two. Each team member has their own triangle of cups. Instead of taking turns,  shooting is a complete free-for-all and once a player’s cups are knocked out, they are done playing. Used as an excellent pregaming tool. Not recommended while already drunk (injuries can occur while diving for balls).

• 100 cup: a variation of beer pong that includes using 100 cups instead of the standard 14 or 20. This can be modified to 72 cup if players are using a piece of plywood they bought at a hardwood store (see above).
• beer bong: the oldies in the house may know this as a funnel. Still nothing? Okay…get a plastic funnel, connect plastic tubing to the bottom, then lift funnel up and bring tubing to the mouth while someone pours a can (or two) of beer into the funnel. “Fill it up again!”
• beer helmet: typically seen at frat parties or football games, a form of a hard hat or helmet with holders on each side of the hat for beer cans. Plastic tubing is connected to both cans, and goes to your mouth for easy accessibility.
• party foul: spilling an alcoholic drink on the floor, yourself, someone else, etc. Not a party foul if it lands in someone’s mouth. Party win.
• ice luge: this kind of explains itself, but if you’re still having trouble…A block of ice with a carved-out track with a downward slope. Someone pours the liquor into the top of the track while the other person anxiously waits for the liquor. Open wide.
• slap the bag: Now this is both innovative and efficient. Don’t want to lug that box of wine everywhere you go? Easy: take it out of the box, keep it in a book bag or purse, and you’re now good to go. Slap the bag specifically means that you will be taking the bag of wine out frequently, and passing around for everyone to enjoy.
• drunk name: what you call yourself or your friends when they’re drunk, aka Dremily and Dradeline (Cat’s out of the bag on who thought up these terms)
• hard A: short for “hard alcohol” (note from Emily: “all my friends not from the west coast think that saying is insane and don’t get what it means at first”)
• 21 run: pretty obvious but NOBODY IN TEXAS HAS HEARD OF IT, so…. I guess not everybody knows. Excessive drinking at a bar on one’s 21st birthday.
• gin bucket: a mixture of gin and juice/soda served at parties in a bucket (or rubbermaid container, or even baby pool), consumed via communal turkey baster. Urban dictionary tells me my college town invented this. This can’t be true at all. (Note from snebbu: um…it can. Only someone in the middle of nowhere would think “we could use these basters to get sloshed…get me the rubbermaid.”)
• beer jacket:  something you “wear” when you are buzzed enough to walk to a party/bar/etc without a jacket in the cold.
• beer goggles: self explanatory. Yes mom, I met him while wearing my beer goggles.
• jungle juice: strange mixture of alcohol served in a punch bowl (or trash can); used to rufie freshman (or…a mixture used to get freshman drunk since they don’t like beer). You know you’ve been drinking the jungle juice if you wake up with a red ring around your mouth.
• pregame: drinking before drinking to ensure you don’t show up at the bar, party, etc. sober. (note from snebbu: as you age and mature, you will use this tactic so that you don’t have to pay for too many $10 beers to get toasted…you’ll already be drunk when you get to the bar)
• power hour: “game” in which participants take a shot of beer/mixed drink every minute. Sometimes set to music or videos.
• pounder: 16oz can of beer, also known as a tall boy. Called a pounder not because you pound them (mom) but because 16 oz equals a pound. (I know it’s fluid ounces, but…nobody said these terms make sense).
• road soda: beer/alcoholic drink you take with you to walk/drive to the bar/party/wherever you’re going. You can often see this tactic in action at the Jersey Shore, Central Pennsylvania, or wherever ML is.
• Tour De Franzia: this competitive game involves at least two teams. Choose a color from the great varieties offered by boxed wine manufacturers. Then, we’re off to the races—first team to complete a 5 liter box wins it.
• Kings: game using all 52 cards of the deck; each one requiring a different drinking-related activity, depending on where you play and with who. EXCEPT for one thing that’s constant everywhere—if you draw a King, you chug the beer that’s sitting in the middle of all the cards.
• Triathlon: A game in which teams race to consume a case of beer, 5th of liquor, and a pizza in one day/night. “Race” is relative.